Original in GoOD HOUSEKEEPING.

SOCIAL GRACES.

For Every-day Service in the Home.

A SERIES OF TWELVE PAPERS, FRESHLY CONSIDERED AND CAREFULLY PREPARED BY

MRS. HESTER M. POOLE.

TITLES AND TREATMENT:

(1.) Home Culture and Refinement.

(2.) Mutual Courtesy of Husband and Wife, of Parents and Children, to Elders and Superiors.

(3.) Dining room and Kitchen Civilities, Consideration and Claims; Courtesy to and from Domestics.

(4.) Neighborhood Courtesy; Informal Receptions; Home Gatherings.

(5.) Dinners, Teas, and Balls; dress for public occasions, of both Sexes.

(6.) Courtesies of Host, Hostess and Guests.

(7.) Good Form as to Engagements, Weddings, and Wedding Presents.

(8.) Letters of Congratulation; Letters of Condolence and Funeral Remembrances, Floral, and otherwise, Specialties in Stationery and Postal Proprieties.

(9) Courtesies, Comforts and Discomforts of Shopping; of Correspondence, proper and improper.

(10.) Courtesies of Traveling; Hotel Customs and Accommoda. tions; Good Form in unexpected situations.

(11.) Duties and Privileges of a Chaperon; Etiquette of Cards and Introductions.

(12.) Courtesies between Stenographers and Typewriters and their Employers, from the two standpoints of Business Demands, and Custom and Privilege; Cycling Etiquette for both sexes; Proper Deportment on or off the Wheel; Etiquette in Woman's Clubs.

THIS WAY TO THE CARS,

CHAPTER X.

HAT our country people are more addicted to traveling than any others on the face of the earth is generally admitted. It follows. that, with our national independence of character, our countrywomen, breaking away from the traditional restraints that hedge about older peoples, are accustomed to take long journeys unattended by men. Observing, persistent, inquisitive, good-natured under discomfort, from the Andes to the Rocky mountains, they penetrate every fastness and eat their luncheons, with imperturbable sang-froid, under the very nose of the Sphinx.

In no other situation is good breeding or the lack of it so much in evidence as in traveling. Strident

tones, vulgar assumption, the pre-emption of the best places, bad table manners and showy dressing mark one who has no delicacy, either native or acquired.

It must be said, however, that, carried away by high spirits, young people often unwittingly yet grievously offend the proprieties. A group of girls forget that they are in public and thoughtlessly grow boisterous. It is a pity, but mothers are often to blame. Rightly trained, a girl will instinctively shun such manifestations. It is chiefly of their elders that complaint is to be made.

In traveling, the etiquette of dress should be rigorously observed. That is, nothing bright and glaring, save in a small bit of trimming, nothing flimsy and stringy, or light in color, should be donned by the traveler. Neither should there be a superfluity of frills, bows and those small accessories of the toilet that readily muss and catch the dust on the dress and wraps of those who take a journey lasting more than a few hours. For the exhibition of jewelry, the car and the steamer are the last places to be chosen. Equally so are rich silks and velvets. In these regards the fitness of things is so often violated that such rules cannot too often be insisted upon.

When it can be afforded a tailor made frock is in the best taste for traveling. Plain or mixed stuffs of a firm, fine texture, fashioned with a skirt not too full and short enough to clear the ground, with a shirt waist and basque, are serviceable and stylish. Waists may be changed, when occasion demands, from cotton to silk, when, without the basque, the frock assumes a more dressy appearance. Such a frock must be tailor-made and not an imitation. No ordinary dress maker can build one satisfactorily, and her work betrays the 'prentice hand. One would better not attempt, for any well-fitting frock of the right color and texture will answer.

Those who travel alone, with a trunk or two, and who are to be on the road over night, need wit, if not experience, to prevent being a nuisance to clerk or conductor. The wise woman will have her luggage packed and labeled in time. Well gloved, booted and veiled, with a handbag and strap containing wraps and needfuls, she dispenses with "big box, little box, bandbox and bundle." She is sure to be at station or steamer in ample season to procure tickets and check baggage. Indeed, before starting, she has secured all possible information concerning the route and changes of transportation. If she has a lunch, that is placed in the shawl strap, in a box that can afterward be thrown away.

If she does not patronize the Pullman car, the woman who deserves to be called a lady will not usurp two seats when other passengers are crowded. Neither will she, on the one hand, strike up intimacy with a fellow traveler, or assume a forbidding demeanor if offered any courtesy, on the other. In brief, she exercises common sense and good feeling, which are other names for judgment and discretion. Many a young woman has been lured to ruin by permitting herself to become acquainted with persons of

whose character and antecedents she knew nothing. Though it is not necessary to be prudish, that is far better than to run to the other extreme.

"So anxiously some women seek for danger, In every courteous act of every stranger," that they assume an air of hauteur at the offer of fruit or a magazine from a seat-mate. If a gentleman offers to raise a window or to procure lunch at a stopping place, there is no reason why he should be treated like an escaped criminal. Neither is there reason why such an one should be garrulous or speak of anything beyond the incidents of the day. Where persons travel together on long excursions a greater degree of familiarity is a matter of course. Even then, unless it be made mutually desirable, the acquaintance should be dropped where it began.

In the morning, on a sleeping car, a decent regard to the rights of others requires a traveler to be as brief as possible in the use of the dressing room. This rule is often broken, be it said with sorrow, but its observance is the touchstone of good manners.

In journeying with friends, it is a breach of good. manners to talk loud or assume in any way that freedom of action that is suitable for the home circle.

""Tis the loud laugh that speaks the vacant mind." And the possessors of such sometimes air themselves for the delectation of their hearers. Who has not been an unwilling listener to loud chatter made expressly for effect? Such persons often attend to details of the toilet, such as trimming the nails. in public.

A young woman may be the object of disagreeable attentions from one who is not a gentleman. In no case should she show fright. In a public conveyance there is no danger. That would only please the one who annoys. A dignified reserve will usually be sufficient. There is a way of looking over or through or around a person that chills and subdues. If this be not sufficient then an appeal to some elderly woman to allow the younger to remain in her society, will be discouragement. He will scarce presume to offend two women. Yet, where one is discreet this will not happen once in a lifetime. For men have a chivalry towards their countrywomen that obtains even among the unrefined.

In crossing the ocean a traveler needs but little luggage in her stateroom. Good form requires her to have one good frock for dinner wear, whenever she is able to appear at dinner. Stunning toilets or a variety of clothes and a show of jewelry on shipboard, are not in good taste.

Acquaintances are easily made on a voyage. But unless one finds that fellow passengers have mutual friends, or the parties are especially congenial, it is not incumbent upon her to continue the acquaintance afterwards.

A woman who finds it necessary to stop at a hotel without an escort would do well to write a day or two in advance to engage a room and to mention by what train or steamer she would be likely to arrive.

Her checks are given to the expressman, who boards train or steamer, and she takes a cab or public conveyance to her destination. Finding the ladies' entrance, she is shown to the reception parlor, whence, by the bell-boy, she sends her card to the clerk of the hotel and asks to be shown to the room which she has engaged by letter.

Once it was not good form for a woman to go to a public house unattended. At, the present time it is the most common thing in the world. She goes to the public table in a street frock, never in a dinner gown, a negligee or a tea gown. When she is going to an evening function that requires showy dressing, she dines early enough to change from a street costume to one more fitting for the occasion. No selfrespecting person desires to be ogled by a lounger who may be her vis-a-vis at the table or in the lobby. Nor does she strike up an acquaintance with any of that unfortunately silly set of women who spend vacuous lives in dawdling about hotel parlors. Poor things! They are either perverted or undeveloped, or they would be in homes of their own, however tiny and humble.

By securing tickets in advance, two women can attend any evening theater or concert in all our large northern cities. Nor will they receive any unpleasant attentions from loafers of that class who always seek whom they may devour. In this regard how much advantage we have over our forbears.

There is something in the face and demeanor of a good woman, a kind of atmosphere radiating from her very soul, that is perceptible to persons of all classes. Should one or two fast men make a mistake or try to frighten 'the timid, it is wrong to betray nervousness and fear. That only incites to still farther efforts to terrify. Appear not to notice the creature at first, and generally he will cease to annoy. Should he not desist, look him in the face, and if need be rebuke with righteous wrath, and if he be not intoxicated he will turn away. If he does not, call for the police, or appeal to any respectable looking man who may be in the vicinity. To lose self-control or faint, in such a position, is to prove one's self too weak to be creditable to the womanhood of the nineteenth century.

Unless in great emergencies a woman should never trust herself late at night alone. When she finds herself forced to do so, let her gird up her strength and determine to be mistress of the situation. There are few positions in which she cannot be equal to any event.

In all lives the unexpected sometimes happens. When we are brought face to face with some crisis of fate, let us disdain moans and tears, faintings and hysterics, evidences of despicable weakness. What means life unless the immortal spirit asserts its supremacy over all transitory events?

To return to unheroic conditions, there are numerous cases where a woman is at loss what to do. Her place, in walking with a man, is never on the side next the street. If he be cognizant of his duty, at

every turning or crossing he will pass behind her and take the outside of the walk. In going up a stairway he precedes her; in going down, he follows. Where the staircase is broad enough for two to pass abreast, he takes the side next the balusters. At church, he first enters the door, but she precedes him up the aisle. At night she takes the arm of an escort on a country road or an ill-lighted street or in a dense crowd. Otherwise not. In daylight the two never go arm-in-arm. The escort never takes hold of her elbow, a very awkward position. When escorting two ladies, a gentleman never walks between them, but on the outside. Neither do two or more persons who know anything of etiquette, stop on the middle of a sidewalk to converse, while passersby turn out to their discomfort. Should it be desirable to talk, the gentleman should turn and walk. slowly by her side until the conversation is drawn to a close. In all cases, if a woman meets an acquaintance, she takes the initiative in bowing.

An escort is always to be thanked for his politeness, and a "really truly" lady never by any suggestion, indicates a desire to be "treated" to fruit, flowers, cream or anything that involves expense. Nothing can be more indelicate than any such insinuation. Even when eagerly offered it is best to consider the circumstances of the escort. To mulct a young man of his hard-earned income is about as mean as anything that can be done. Such young women are marked by their friends, and they well deserve to be.

When one has a particular fad or follows a pursuit, it is not good manners to talk shop with caller or friend. Neither is it to complain of poverty, or to boast of prosperity.

Those there are to whom even sunshine and beauty seem objectionable. By their criticisms or pessimism they chill and silence every emotion of joy and pleasure. It is a bad habit to fall into, as well as bad form, that of dwelling upon the darker side of life. Why always wear garments with the seams outside. The better philosophy, the inspiration of hope, ought to teach us to ignore and minimize all that is unpleasant, and to steadily fix our minds upon the brighter side of life.

It is not, nevertheless, our part to boast of the brilliancy and virtue of our children, or dilate upon our advantages and pleasures. Equally removed from good breeding and right feeling is to criticise our neighbors or to express dissatisfaction with one's own lot in comparison with theirs. Always striving for the better, until that is obtained let us enjoy the blessings that have not been denied.

Original in GOOD HOUSEKEEPING.

HYPOCRISY.

Love mocks at all hypocrisy,
And separates the true
From false affection, as the bee
The nectar from the dew.

-Arthur E. Smith.