in, and drives them out of his throat. And the way that it does so is this: the oxygen grapples with the carbon, and the hydrogen drives the nitrogen out of your body. Do you understand me, Karl?"

No," said Hawermann, laughing heartily; "you can hardly expect me to do that."

"Never laugh at things you don't understand, Karl. Listen: I have smelt the nitrogen myself, but as for the black carbon, what becomes of it? That is a difficult question, and I didn't get on far enough with the water-science to be able to answer it. Perhaps you think that Parson Behrens could explain the matter to me; but no, when I asked him yesterday he said that he knew nothing about it. And now, Karl, you'll see that I've still got the black carbon in me, and that I shall have that beastly gout again."

"But, Zacharias, why didn't you remain a little longer, and get thoroughly cured?"

"Because "-and Bräsig cast down his eyes, and looked uncomfortable-"I couldn't. Something happened to me. Karl," he continued, raising his eyes to his friend's face, "you've known me from childhood; tell me, did you ever see me disrespectful to a woman?"

"No, Bräsig, I can bear witness that I never did."

"Well, then, just think what happened. A week ago last Friday the gout was very troublesome in my great toe-you know it always begins by attacking the small end of the human wedge-and the water-doctor said, 'Mr. Bailiff,' he said, 'you must have an extra packing; Dr. Strump's colchicum is the cause of this, and we must get rid of it.' Well, it was done. He packed me himself, and so tight that I had hardly room to breathe, telling me for my comfort that water was more necessary for me than air, and then he

wanted to shut the window. 'No,' I said, 'I understand the the'ry well enough to know that I must have fresh air, so please leave the window open.' He did as I asked, and went away. I lay quite still in my compress, thinking no evil, when suddenly I heard a great humming and buzzing in my ears, and when I could look up, I saw a swarm of bees streaming in at my window, preceded by their queen. I knew her well, Karl, for, as you know, I am a bee-keeper. One spring the schoolmaster at Zittelwitz and I got fifty-seven in a field. I now saw that the queen was going to settle on the blanket which the doctor had drawn over my head. What was to be done? I couldn't move. I blew at her, and blew and blew till my breath was all gone. It was horrible! The queen settled right on the bald part of my head-for I had taken off my wig, as usual, to save it-and now the whole swarm flew at my face. That was enough for me. Quickly I rolled out of bed, freed myself from the blanket, wriggled out of the wet sheets, and reached the door, for the devil was at my heels. I got out at the door, and striking out at my assailants blindly and madly, shrieked for help. God be praised and thanked for the existence of the water-doctor! His name is Ehrfurcht. He came to my rescue, and, taking me to another room, fetched me my clothes, and so after a few hours' rest I was able to go down to the dining-room -salong, as they call it; but I still had half a bushel of bee-stings in my body. I began to speak to the gentlemen, and they did nothing but laugh. Why did they laugh, Karl? You don't know, nor do I. I turned to one of the ladies, and spoke to her in a friendly way about the weather. She blushed. What was there in the weather to make her red? I can't tell, nor can you, Karl. I spoke to the lady who sings, and asked her very politely to let us hear the beautiful song which she sings every evening. What did she do, Karl? She turned her back upon me! I now busied myself with my own thoughts, but the water-doctor came up to me, and said courteously:

"'Don't be angry with me, Mr. Bailiff, but you've made yourself very conspicuous this afternoon.'

""How?' I asked.

""Fräulein von Hinkefuss was crossing the passage when you ran out of your room, and she has told every one else in strict confidence.'

,

"And so, I said, 'you give me no sympathy, the gentlemen laugh at me, and the ladies turn their pretty backs upon

me.

No, I didn't come here for that! If Fräulein von Hinkefuss had met me, if half a bushel of bee-stings had been planted in her body, I should have asked her every morning, with the utmost propriety, how she was. But let her alone! There is no market where people can buy kindheartedness! Come away, doctor, and pull the stings out of my body.'

"He said he couldn't do it.

"What!' I asked, 'can't you pull bee-stings out of a man's skin?'

""No,' he said; 'that is to say, I can do it, but I dare not, for that is an operation such as surgeons perform, and I have no diploma for surgery from the Mecklenburg government.'

""What?' I asked, 'you are allowed to draw gout out of my bones, but it is illegal for you to draw a bee-sting out of my skin? You dare not meddle with the outer skin, which you can see, and yet you presume to attack my internal maladies, which you can't see? Thank you!'

"Well, Karl, from that moment I lost all faith in the water-doctor, and without faith they can do nothing, as they themselves tell you when it comes to the point. So I went away quietly and got old Metz, the surgeon at Rahnstädt, to draw out the stings. That was the end of the water-cure. Still, it's a good thing. One gets new ideas in a place like that, and even if one's gout is not cured, one gains some notion of what a human being can suffer. And now, Karl, this is a water-book I have brought you; you can read it in the winter evenings." -" My Farming Days."

Gustav Freytag

Preparing for Publication

BOLZ, Editor; MÜLLER, BEllmaus, and KÄMPE, Assistants.

Bolz. Well, Müller, what about the proofs for the evening edition? Have I seen them all?

Mül. Not quite all except this (handing proof), for the "Miscellaneous" column.

"

Bolz. Let's see it. (Reads.) "Garments Stolen from Clothes-Line." "Birth of Triplets." "Concert." Concert." "Lodge Meeting." "Theatrical Performance "quite so, quite so!" Invention of a New Locomotive." "The Great Sea-Serpent"- Confound him, dishing up that old sea-serpent of his again! I'd like to see the beast served up as a jelly, and himself obliged to eat it cold!-Bellmaus, you fiend, what's the meaning of this?

Bell. Why, what's the matter? What are you so excited about?

Bolz (very solemnly). Ah, Bellmaus, when we conferred the honor upon you of entrusting you with the manufacture of bric-à-brac for this newspaper, our intention was not that the great serpent should wind itself everlastingly through our columns. By the way, how the deuce did you come to stick that old yarn in again?

Bell. Oh, it just happened to fill up six lines that were wanting.

Bolz. An excuse, to be sure, but not the best. You must invent your own stories, my dear chap. What are you a