All in an uproar seem Great things and small; I am the only one But there's no safety here So I'll turn back to The tavern again. Friedrich Schulze-" Friedrich Laun" The Incognito THE town council was sitting, and that in gloomy silence. Alternately they looked at each other, and at the official order, that morning received, which reduced their perquisites and salaries by one-half. At length the mayor arose, turned the mace-bearer out of the room, and bolted the door. That worthy man, however, or, as he was more frequently styled, that worthy mace, was not so to be baffled; old experience in acoustics had taught him where to apply his ear with most advantage in cases of the present emergency; and as the debate soon rose from a humming of gentle dissent to the stormy pitch of downright quarreling, he found no difficulty in assuaging the pangs of his curiosity. The council, he soon learned, were divided as to the course to be pursued on their common calamity; whether formally to remonstrate, or not, at the risk of losing their places. Indeed, they were divided on every point except one; and that was, contempt for the political talents of the new prince, who could begin his administration upon a principle so monstrous as that of retrenchment. At length, in one of the momentary pauses of the hurricane, the council distinguished the sound of two vigorous fists playing with the utmost energy upon the panels of the door outside. "What presumption is this?" exclaimed the chairman, immediately leaping up. However, on opening the door, it appeared that the fury of the summons was dictated by no failure in respect, but by absolute necessity. Necessity has no law; and any more reverential knocking could have had no chance of being heard. The person outside was Mr. Commissioner Pig; and his business was to communicate a despatch of urgent importance which he had that moment received by express. "First of all, gentlemen," said the pursy commissioner, "allow me to take breath," and, seating himself, he began to wipe his forehead. Agitated with the fear of some unhappy codicil to the unhappy testament already received, the members gazed anxiously at the open letter which he held in his hand; and the chairman, unable to control his impatience, made a grab at it-"Permit me, Mr. Pig." "No," said Pig; "it is the postscript only which concerns the council. Wait one moment, and I will have the honor of reading it myself." Thereupon he drew out his spectacles, and adjusting them with provoking coolness, slowly and methodically proceeded to read as follows: "We open our letter to acquaint you with a piece of news which has just come to our knowledge, and which it will be important for your town to learn as soon as possible. His Serene Highness has resolved on visiting the remote provinces of his new dominions immediately. He means to preserve the strictest incognito, and we understand will travel under the name of Count Fitz-Hum, attended only by one gentleman of the bedchamber, viz., the Baron von Hoax. The carriage he will use on this occasion is a plain English landau, the body painted dark blue, 'picked out' with tawny and white. As for his Highness in particular, you will easily distinguish him by his superb whiskers. Of course, we need scarcely suggest to you that, if the principal hotel of your town should not be in proper order, or for any reason not fully and unconditionally available, it will be proper in that case to meet the illustrious traveler on his entrance with an offer of better accommodations in one of the best private mansions, among which your own is reputed to stand foremost. Your town is to have the honor of the new sovereign's first visit, and on this account you will be much envied, and the eyes of all Germany turned upon you." " man. Doubtless, most important intelligence!" said the chair"But who is your correspondent?" "The old and eminent house of Wassermüller; and I thought it my duty to communicate the information without delay." "To be sure, to be sure; and the council is under the greatest obligation to you for the service." So said all the rest; for they all viewed in the light of a providential interference on behalf of the old traditional fees, perquisites, and salaries, this opportunity so unexpectedly thrown in their way of winning the prince's favor. To make the best use of such an opportunity, it was absolutely necessary that their hospitalities should be on the most liberal scale. On that account it was highly gratifying to the council that Commissioner Pig loyally volunteered the loan of his house. Some drawback undoubtedly it was on this pleasure that Commissioner Pig in his next sentence made known that he must be paid for his loyalty. However, there was no remedy, and his demands were acceded to; for not only was Pig-house the only mansion in the town at all suitable for the occasion, but it was also known to be so in the prince's capital, as clearly appeared from the letter which had just been read at least when read by Pig himself. All being thus arranged, and the council on the point of breaking up, a sudden cry of "Treason!" was raised by a member; and the mace-bearer was detected skulking behind an armchair, perfidiously drinking in the secrets of the state. He was instantly dragged out, the enormity of his crime displayed to him, which under many wise governments, the chairman assured him, would have been punished with the bowstring or instant impalement, and after being amerced in a considerable fine, which paid the first instalment of the Piggian demand, he was bound over to inviolable secrecy by an oath of great solemnity. This oath, at the suggestion of a member, was afterward administered to the whole of the senate in rotation, as also to the commissioner. Which done, the council adjourned. Now, my dear creatures," said the commissioner to his wife and daughter on returning home, "without a moment's delay send for the painter, the upholsterer, the cabinet-maker; also for the butcher, the fishmonger, the poulterer, the confectioner; in one half hour let each and all be at work; and at work let them continue all day and all night." "At work? But what for? What for, Pig?" And, do you hear, as quickly as possible," added Pig, driving them both out of the room. "But what for?" they both repeated, reentering at another door. Without vouchsafing any answer, however, the commissioner went on, "And let the tailor, the shoemaker, the milliner, the" "The fiddlestick end, Mr. Pig. I insist upon knowing what all this is about." "No matter what, my darling. Just do as I say." "Hark you, Mr. Commissioner. Matters are at length come to a crisis. You have the audacity to pretend to keep a secret from your lawful wife. Hear, then, my fixed deter |