Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

• We must cut

Lieutenant St. Squintem.
him' said the Colonel. And Mr. Ferdinand

He is very clever,' said they both; and may do yet.' So they borrowed some thousands from the uncle, and bought his beautiful nephew a seat in parliament. Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was ambitious, and desirous of retrieving his character. He fagged like a dragoon-conned pamphlets and reviews; got Ricardo by heart; and made notes on the English constitution. He rose to speak. What a handsome fellow,' whispered one member. Ah, a coxcomb,' said another; ' never do for a speak

6

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

and had as much plumb-cake as he could eat. Happy would it have been for Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy could he always have eaten plumb- Fitzroy was accordingly cut. Our hero was a cake, and remained a child. Never,' says youth of susceptibility--he quitted the the Greek tragedian, reckon a mortal happy, regiment, and challenged the Colonel. The till you have witnessed his end.' A most Colonel was killed! What a terrible blackbeautiful creature was Mr. Ferdinand Fitz- guard is Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy!' said the Colroy! Such eyes-such teeth-such a figure onel's relations. Very true!' said the world. -such manners, too-and such an irresistible The parents were in despair! They were not way of tying his neckcloth!-When he was rich; but our hero was an only son, and they about sixteen, a crabbed old uncle represent-sponged hard upon the crabbed old uncle.ed to his parents the propriety of teaching Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy to read and write. Tho' not without some difficulty, he convinced them, for he was exceedingly rich, and riches in an uncle are wonderful arguments respecting the nature of a nephew whose parents have nothing to leave him. So our hero was sent to school. He was naturally (I am not joking now) a very sharp, clever boy; and he came on suprisingly in his learning.The schoolmaster's wife liked handsome children. What a genius will Master Fitzroyer,' said a third, very audibly. And the genbe, if you take pains with him;' said she, to her husband. Pooh, my dear, it is of no use to take pains with him.' And why, my love Because he is a great deal too handsome ever to be a scholar.' And that's true enough, my dear!' said the schoolmaster's wife. So because he was too handsome to be a scholar, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy remained the lag of the fourth form! They took our hero from school. What profession shall he follow?'" said his mother. My first cousin is the lord chancellor,' said his father, let him go to the bar.' The lord chancellor dined there that day; Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was introduced to him. His lordship was a little, rough-faced beetle-browed,hard-featured man, who thought beauty and idleness the same thing-and a parchment skin the legitimate complexion for a lawyer. Send him to the bar!' said he, no, no, that will never do!-send him to the army; he is much too handsome to become a lawyer.' And that's true enough, my lord!' said the mother. So they bought Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy a cornetcy in the regiment of dragoons. Things are not learned by inspiration. Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy had never ridden at school, except when he was hoisted; he was therefore, a very indifferent horseman, they sent him to the riding school, and every body laughed at him. He is a d-d ass!' said Corporal Horsephiz, who was very ugly; 'a horrid puppy!' said Lieutenant St. Squintem, who was still uglier; if he does not ride better, he will disgrace the regiment!' said Captain Rivalhate, who was very good looking; if he does not ride better, we will cut him!' said Colonel Everdrill, who was a wonderful martinet, 'I say Mr. Bumpemwell (to the riding master,) make that youngster ride less like a miller's sack.' Pooh sir, he will never ride better.' And why the d-l will he not?" 'Bless you Colonel, he is a great deal too handsome for a cavalry officer!' 'True!' said Corporal Horsephiz.

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Not so,

tlemen on the opposite benches sneered and heared! Impudence is only indigenous in Milesia, and an orator is not made in a day. Discouraged by his reception, Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy grew a little embarrassed. Told you so,' said one of his neighbors. Fairly broken || down,' said another. Too fond of his hair to have any thing in his head,' said a third, who was considered a wit. 'Hear, hear,' cried the gentlemen on the opposite benches. Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy sat down; he had not shone; but, in justice, he had not failed. Many a first-rate speaker had began worse; and many a country member had been declared a phonix of promise upon half his merit. thought the heroes of corn laws. You Adonises never make orators!' said a crack speaker with a wry nose. Nor men of business, either,' added the chairman of a committee, with a face like a kangaroo's. Poor Devil,' said the civilist of the set. He's a deuced deal too handsome for a speaker. By Jove, he is going to speak again! this will never do; we must cough him down.' And Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was accordingly coughed down. Our hero was now seven or eight and twenty, handsomer than ever, and the adoration of all the young ladies at Almack's-We have nothing to leave you,' said the parents, who had long spent their fortune, and now lived on the credit of having enjoyed it. 'You are the handsomest man in London; you must marry an heiress. I will,' said Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy. Miss Helen Convolvulus was a charming young lady, with a hair-lip and six thousand a year. To Miss Helen Convolvulus, then, our hero paid his address

Very true said

[ocr errors]

es.

·

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Heavens! what an uproar her relations made about the matter. Easy to see his intentions,' said one; 'a handsome fortune hunter, who wants to make the best of his person handsome is that handsome does,' says another'-' he was turned out of the army and murdered his Colonel ;'--' never mar

cessor to be a man of business, not beauty; and Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy is a great deal too handsome for a banker; his good looks will, no doubt, win him an heiress in town. Mean. while, I leave him to buy a dressing case, a thousand pounds.' 'A thousand devils!' said Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, banging out of the room. He flew to his mistress. She was not at home. 'Lies,' says the Italian proverb, have short legs; but truths, if they are un

ry a beauty,' said a third,' he can admire none but himself,'' will have so many mistresses,' said a fourth; make you perpetually jealous,' said a fifth ;--' spend your fortune,' said a sixth; and break your heart,' said a seventh. Miss Helen Convolvulus was prudent and wary. She saw a great deal of justice in what was said; and was sufficiently contented with liberty and six thousand a year, not to be highly impatient for a husband; but our heroine had no aversion to a lov-pleasant, have terrible long ones! The next er; especially to so handsome a lover as Ferdinand Fitzroy. Accordingly she neither accepted nor discarded him;-but suffered him to get into debt with his tailor, and his coach-maker, on the strength of becoming Mr. Fitzroy Convolvulus. Time went on, and excuses and delays were easily found; however, our hero was sanguine, and so were his parents. A breakfast at Cheswick and a putrid fever carried off the latter, with in one week of the other; but not until they had blessed Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, and rejoiced that they had left him so well provided for. Now, then, our hero depended solely upon the crabbed old uncle and Miss Helen Convolvulus ;-the former, though a baronet and a satirist, was a banker and a man of business he looked very distastefully at the Hyperian curls and white teeth of Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy. If I make you my heir,' 'l expect you will continue the bank. Certainly, Sir!' said the nephew. 'Humph! grunted the

Debt

Uncle; 'a pretty fellow for a banker!" ors grew pressing to Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy, and Mr. Fitzroy grew pressing to Miss Helen Convolvulus. It is a dangerous thing,' said she timidly, to marry a man so admired-will you always be faithful! By heaven,' cried the lover. Heigho!' sighed Miss Helen Convolvulus, and Lord Rufus Pumillion entering, the conversation was changed. But the day of the marriage was fixed; and Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy bought a new curricle. By Apollo,how handsome he looked in it! A month before the wedding-day the uncle died. Miss Helen Convolvulus was quite tender in her condolence-'Cheer up, my Ferdinand,' said she; for your sake I have discarded Lord Rufus Pumillion!" "Adorable condescension ?" cried our hero; 'but Lord Rufus Pumillion is only four feet two, and hair like a peony.'All men are not so handsome as Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy was the reply. Away goes our hero to be present at the opening of his uncle's will. 'I leave,' said the testator (who 1 have before said was a bit of a satarist) my share of the bank,and the whole of my fortune, legacies excepted, to'-here Mr. F. Fitzroy wiped his beautiful eyes with a cambric handkerchief, exquisitely brode-'my natural son, John Spriggs, an industrous, pains-taking youth, who will do credit to the bank. I did once intend to have made my nephew, Ferdinand, my heir; but so curling a head can have no talent for accounts. I want my suc

day Mr. Ferdinand Fitzroy received a most obliging note of dismissal. I wish you every happiness,' said Miss Helen Convolvulus, in conclusion-'but my friends are right; you are much too handsome for a husband!' And the week after, Miss Helen Convolvulus became Lady Rufus Pumillion. 'Alas! sir,' said the bailiff, as a day or two after the disolution of parliament, he was jogging along in a hackney coach bound to the king's bench Alas! sir, what a pity it is to take so handsome a gentleman to prision!"--Literary Souvenir, by Alaric A. Walls.

COCHIN CHINA.

It may be said, that the Cochin-Chinese are a well flogged nation; and one might expect that the universality of this brutal system would render them not only servile, obsequious, and cowardly, but also timid, gloomy, and suspicious; but, in the latter respect at least the case is quite the contrary: and the lower orders of the Cochin-Chinese, as far as we could judge from outward appearance, seemed to be vain, cheerful, and good humoured, obliging and civil, beyond all Asiatic people whom we had seen.-Crawfurd's Embassy.

While we were entering the court yard of the Minister's house, we saw a company of comedians, who had been exhibiting, as upon the first occasion. It seems that they were not perfect in their parts,or at least that their performance did not satisfy the taste of the great man. They were accordingly undergoing the universally panacea for all breaches of moral, social, and political obligation,-for all errors of omission or commission; that is to say--the bamboo. The first object that caught our attention was the hero of the piece lying prone on the ground, and receiving punishment in his full dramatic costume. The inferior characters,in due course received their share also, as we afterwards ascertained from hearing their cries,

while we sat with the Minister. This conference virtually terminated the diplomatic intercourse of the Mission with the Cochin Chinese Court.-Idem.

hatched eggs formed a delicacy beyon the reach of the poor, and were only adapted for persons of distinction. On inquiry, we in fact found that they cost some thirty per cent. more in the market than fresh ones. It seems, they always form a distinguished part of every great entertainment; and it is the practice, when invitations are given out, to set the bens to batch; the fete takes place about the tenth or twelfth day from this perod,the eggs being then considered as ripe, and exactly in the state most agreeable to the palate of a Cochin Chinese epicure."—Idem.

Their Cochin Chinese majesties appear to provide for their remains more carefully than for their living persons:"The late king, for example, constructed a splendid mausoleum, and laid out extensive gardens, as a place of interment for himself and his favorite Queen, upon which thousands of his subjects were occupied for years. The following account of these gardens was given to us. They are situated in a romantic part of the mountains, and about ten leagues to the north of the, Capital. The tombs are SCANDAL-A Fragment. There are peothe least splendid part of this undetak-ple,' continued the corporal, 'who can't even

ing, which consist besides, of spacious gardens and groves, laid out in walks and terraces, and as it is said with no mean taste. In the course of this splendid undertaking, hills were levelled, mounds thrown across from one hill to another, -canals and tanks dug, and spacious roads constructed. The Queen,a woman of great beauty and merit, who had accompanied her husband in his exile in Siam,-in his retreat among the desert islands, in the Gulf of that name, and who was besides his constant campanion in all his war like expeditions by sea and land, was buried here seven years before our visit. Four years afterwards, the king himself was placed by her side. The same spot before being decorated in the present magnificent manner, was also the ancient burying-ground of the predecessors of the present race of kings. The place was represented to us as a delicate and a romantic spot, exceeding in beauty every other scene in the country. We wished for permission to pay it a visit, but were politely informed that the king was always reluctant to permit the visits of strangers, whose presence, he said, might trouble the repose of the spirits of his ancestors -Idem.

The people of Cochin China have the following singular fancy in regard to eggs.- -"One of the Cochin Chinese eggs. When we expressed some susprise at the appearance of this portion of the repast,one of our Cochin Chinese attendants observed, with much naivete, that

breathe without slandering a neighbor.'

'You judge too severely,' replied my aunt Prudy: no one is slandered who does not de

[merged small][merged small][ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

"The feelings of my aunt may well be conceived. She was sensibly injured.-True, she had her foibles. She was peevish and fretful. But she was rigidly moral and virtuous. The purest ice was not more chaste. The Pope himself could not boast more piety. Conscious

of the correctness of her conduct, she was wounded at the remark of the corporal. Why should her neighbors slander her? She could not conjecture.

"Let my aunt be consoled. A person who can live in this world without suffering slander, must be too stupid or insignificant to claim

attention."

[blocks in formation]

POETRY.

THE CHILD'S FIRST GRIEF.

BY MRS. HEMANS.

Oh! call my brother back to me,
I cannot play alone;

The summer comes, with flower and bee,--
Where is my brother gone?

The butterfly is glancing bright
Across the sun-beam's track;"

I care not now to chase its flight--
Oh! call my brother back!

The flowers run wild-The flowers we sow'd,
Around our garden-tree;

Our vine is drooping with its load-
Oh! call him back to me?

He would not hear thy voice, fair child, Ile may not come to thee,

The face that once like spring time smil'd On earth no more thou'lt see.

A rose's brief, bright life of joy-
Such unto him was given;
Go! thou must play alone, my boy!
Thy brother is in heaven.

And has he left his birds and flowers?
And must I call in vain ?

And through the long, long summer hours
Will he not come again?

And by the brook, and in the glade,
Are all our wanderings o'er?--
Oh! while my brother with me played,
Would I had lov'd him more !

A VISION OF MIRZA.
Wrillen on the death of an Infant Boy.
On a desert shore methought I stood,
As the closing day withdrew :
And wide o'er the ocean's solitude
The twilight dimly grew.

The troubled sea was rolling dark,
And the tempest gathering fast,
When I spied a slender little bark
On the stormy billows cast.

One lonely weight was all its freight,

And he seemed to weep and mourn, For he looked like one on a journey gone, Where the travellers ne'er return.

But still he rowed amid the blast,

And slowly he bore away

Through the wizard gloom that, all o'ercast,
On the water's bosom lay.

I sighed to think of the hapless wight,
On this sea of perils thrown;

For the sky was dark with the cloud of night,
And he rode the waves alone.

"O how shalt thou the boisterous shock
Of wind and tide repel :

Or guide thy course through reef and rock,
Or signs of danger tell?

"Thy bark is light to tempt the storm
With a mariner so young,

While blackening clouds of phantom form
Are round the welkin hung.

"Before thee far extends the deep,

Nor shore nor haven nigh;

And thou hast no watch tower on the steep,
No star in the moonless sky.

"Behind thee fast recedes the land,
Between high rolls the wave:
And all unskilled is thy little hand
The angry surge to brave.

"Unknown, untravelled is the bourne
Of the land thy oar must win:

And the night is long e'er dawn of morn
On the dreary path begin.

"Some angel-hand, on the distant strand
Or golden mountains high,

A beacon rise to point the land.
When thy hour of peril's nigh."

The bark, now far in the wave's embrace,
Was faintly sinking away;

When the scowl of heaven grew bright apace
With the purpling break of day.

And the hills of a green and fairy land

Appeared on the verge of the deep;
And strains were heard of some holy band,
Like music in midnight sleep;

And spirits bright, as orbs of light,
In shining throngs were seen,
With crowns of gold in their robes of white,
And palms of evergreen.

They beckoned him on with angel smiles,
Away to their bowers of bliss:

And they hailed him home to their sunny isles,
With the songs of paradise.

They led him by pure and living streams,
And wiped his weeping eyes;

And they bound his hair with radiant beams,
And gems of a thousand dyes.

In glitteriug ranks they moved, all bright
And glorious to behold;

Each one in his panoply of light,

With a lyre of burning gold.

And sweet were the heavenly strains that broke O'er the ocean's azure swell;

But the airs they sung, and the words they spoke,

A seraph's lips must tell.

For quick as thought fled sea and sky, And the music charmed no more;

I wished for the wings of a dove, that I Might fly to that happy shore.

THE

Worcester Talisman,

NO. 22.

ORIGINAL.

FOR THE TALISMAN.

JANUARY 24, 1829.

THE UNSTABLE MIND.. MR. EDITOR :-I have from my youth upwards been of a versatile turn of mind, or (as I prefer the expression) a universal genius. I could never endure to read one author for any length of time. Sometimes I would study history for a day or two with great industry and attention, and then, perhaps, break suddenly off and read novels or poetry, for as long

a time.

VOL. I.

fishing a second time. A treatise on shooting and training dogs, came in my way, here was employment for a season, I labored, (believe me good reader, it is labor) diligently, and shot more game than any sportsman in the vicinity, and had the best dogs and finest guns the country could afford; one season, however, sufficed for this amusement. I met, during a travelling excursion, a beautiful and accomplished girl. I fancied myself in love, and took unwearied pains to please the fair one, hung upon her accents, treasured up her most trifling expressions, wrote sonnets upon her blue eyes and auburn hair, made my head ache in learning and nearly dislocated my jaws in uttering the botanical names of flowers, &c. for her instruction, while pursuing the study of botany. The charm lasted a few months, then dissolved, and I wondered what I had ever seen attractive in the lady. In short I have tried every variety of occupation and amusement, and find none that affords a permanent satisfaction. And now Mr. Editor in conclusion of this long and dull narration, I come to the point which induced me to appear on paper, to request you to point out some occupation that may rid me of this everlasting

ennui.

J. B.

Mathematics would interest me for a period, and I would be wholly absorbed in some difficult question for hours, but the charms of a newspaper story, would divert me from a train of mathematical operations and inves tigation, if my eye happened to fall upon one of these chronicles of the passing time. I have dipped more or less into all sciences, and have acquired a smattering of various languages, ancient and modern, and might pass among the "profanum vulgus" for a physician, a student of divinity, a lawyer and perhaps for an artisan. But there is a sort of restless, uneasy temperament of mind, either natural to me from childhood or become so by long habit, that drives me as it were from one pursuit to J. B. has indeed consulted us upon a diffianother, without any definite object in view, save a kind of undefined expectancy of happi-cult point, one that requires a more intimate ness or pleasure in something which is not yet acquired. My pursuits in active life have been as diversified as my reading was various and diffuse. I soon grew weary of my native village, and desired to see more of the world. Some golden vision or fanciful elysium drew me from country to country; I wandered far from home, but was still restless. Sometimes I thought that all I had ever wished of happiness was within my reach, but like "the baseless fabric of a vision," it eluded my grasp.Amusements have been as various with me as my studies. A friend once lent me "Izaac Walton's" treatise upon Angling. I read it with interest, and the plain, simple dialogues between Piscator and Viator quite won upon me.

was uneasy (I might say unhappy) until I had with much trouble and expense, procured fishing tackle, I hastened to ensnare the speckled trout and others of the finny tribe; I succeeded beyond expectation, and made one of my sweetest meals from the fruits of my toils; ut the charm was broken, I never went a

knowledge of human nature and the affairs of
the world than the Editor pretends to possess.
As violent diseases are frequently subdued by
powerful remedies when administered with
care and skill, the Editor would venture to sug-
gest to J. B. to get a wife, with all convenient
dispatch, it is an experiment which may, per-
haps, prove of service to him.

THE YOUNG VICTIM.
"The Autumn wind rushing
Wafts the leaves that are searest,
But our flower was in flushing
When blighting was nearest."

Ed.

Moore.

"A brother's and a sister's love is much." Willis.

When we behold the pale hand of death drawing his shroud over those who have passed through a long and virtuous life; when

« AnteriorContinuar »