it be dissolved without fire, or the violence of iron. After the hearts of the man and the wife are endeared and hardened by a mutual confidence and experience, longer than artifice and pretence can last, there are a great many remembrances, and some things present, that dash all little unkindnesses in pieces.

"Let man and wife be careful to stifle little things, that as fast as they spring, they be cut down and trod upon; for if they be suffered to grow by numbers, they make the spirit peevish, and the society troublesome, and the affections loose and uneasy by an habitual aversation. Some men are more vexed with a fly than with a wound; and when the gnats disturb our sleep, and the reason is disquieted, but not perfectly awaken, ed, it is often seen that he is fuller of trouble than if in the daylight of his reason he were to contest with a potent enemy. In the frequent little accidents of a family, a man's reason cannot always be awake; and when his discourses are imperfect, and a trifling trouble makes him yet more restless, he is soon betrayed to the violence of passion. It is certain that the man or woman are in a state of weakness and folly then, when they can be troubled with a trifling accident; and therefore it is not good to tempt their affections, when they are in that state of danger. In this case the caution is, to subtract fuel from the sudden flame for stubble, though it be quickly kindled, yet it is as soon extinguished, if it be not blown by a pertinacious breath, or fed with new materials. Add no new provocations to the accident, and do not enflame this, and

peace will soon return, and the discontent will pass away soon, as the sparks from the collision of a flint ; ever remembering, that discontents proceeding from daily little things, do breed a secret undiscernable disease, which is more dangerous than a fever proceeding from a discerned notorious surfeit."

If they would preserve love, let them be sure to study most accurately each others tastes and distates, and most anxiously abstain from whatever, even in the minutest things, they know to be contrary to them. The antients in their conjugal allegories, used to represent Mercury standing by Venus, to signify that by fair language, and sweet entreaties, the minds of each other should be united.

If they would preserve love, let them most carefully avoid all curious and frequently repeated distinctions of MINE and THINE: for this hath caused all the laws, and all the suits, and all the wars in the world; let them who have but one person, have also but one interest. Instances may occur in which there may and must be, a separate investiture of property, and a sovereign independent right of disposal in the woman; in this case, the most anxious care should be taken by the husband not to attempt to invade that right, and by the wife, neither ostentatiously to speak of it, nor rigidly to claim it, nor selfishly to exercise it. In ordinary cases," they should be heirs to each other, if they die childless; and if there be children, the wife should be with them a partner in the inheritance. But during their life the use and employment is common

to both their necessities, and in this there is no other difference of right, but that the man hath the dispensation of all, and may keep it from his wife, just as the governor of a town may keep it from the right owner; he hath the power, but not the right to do so."

2. MUTUAL RESPECT is a duty of married life; for though as we shall afterwards consider, especial reverence is due from the wife, yet is respect due from the husband also.

As it is difficult to respect those, who are not entitled to it on any other ground than superior rank or common relationship, it is of immense consequence, that we should present to each other, that conduct which deserves respect and commands it. Moral esteem is one of the firmest supports, and strongest guards of love; and a high degree of excellence cannot fail to produce such esteem. We are more accurately known to each other in this connexion, than either to the world, or even to our own servants and children. The privacies of such a relationship lay open our motives, and all the interior of our character; so that we are better known to each other than we are to ourselves. If therefore, we would be respected, we should be respectable. Charity covers a multitude of faults, it is true; but we must not presume too far upon the credulity and blindness of affection; there is a point beyond which, even love cannot be blind to the crimson colouring of a guilty action. Every piece of really sinful conduct, the impropriety of which cannot be mistaken, tends to sink us in each others esteem,

and thus to remove the safeguards of affection. Perhaps this has not been sufficiently thought of in wedded life, the parties of which have been sometimes anxious merely to cover their delinquencies from the world, forgetful that it is a dreadful thing to lose their mutual respect. It is delightfully striking to observe, how some pairs, of eminent moral worth, regard each other; what reverence is blended with their love, and and how like to angel forms of heavenly excellence they appear to one another.

In all the conduct of the conjugal state then, there should be the most marked and unvarying mutual respect even in little things: there must be no searching after faults, nor examining, with microscopic scrutiny, such as cannot be concealed; no reproachful epithets; no rude contempt; no incivility; no cold neglect: there should be courtesy without ceremony; politeness without formality; attention without slavery; it should, in short, be the tenderness of love, supported by esteem, and guided by politeness. And then, we must maintain our mutual respectability before others; strangers, friends, servants, children, must all be taught to respect us, from what they see in our own behaviour. It is in the highest degree improper, for either party to do an action, to say a word, or assume a look, that shall have the remotest tendency to lower the other in public esteem.

3. MUTUAL ATTACHMENT TO EACH OTHER'S SOCIETY, is a common duty of husband and wife.

We are united to be companions; to live together,

to walk together, to talk together. The husband is commanded" to dwell with the wife according to knowledge." "This," says Mr. Jay, "intends nothing less than residence, opposed to absence and roving. It is absurd, for those who have no prospect of dwelling together, to enter this state; and those who are already in it, should not be unnecessarily abroad. Circumstances of various kinds will doubtless render occasional excursions unavoidable; but let a man return as soon as the design of his absence is accomplished, and let him always travel with the words of Solomon in his mind, As a bird that wandereth from her nest, so is a man that wandereth from his place.' Can a man while from home, discharge the duties he owes to his household? Can he discipline his child

ren? Can he maintain the worship of God in his family? I know it is the duty of the wife to lead the devotion in the absence of the husband; and she should take it up as a cross, if not for the time as a privilege. Few, however, are thus disposed, and hence one of the sanctuaries of God for weeks and months together is shut up. I am sorry to say, that there are some husbands who seem fonder of any society than the company of their wives. It appears in the disposal of their leisure hours. How few of these are appropriated to the wife! The evenings are the most domestic periods of the day. To these the wife is peculiarly entitledshe is now most free from her numerous cares, and most at liberty to enjoy reading and conversation. It is a sad reflection upon a man when he is fond of spend