Imágenes de páginas
PDF
EPUB

honors at college and who spent much time and money in entertaining his friends.

taken high honors at college, now wasted much time and money in entertaining his friends.

The following is a specimen of newspaper English; one fails to see any connection between punting a football and entering a broker's office:

For two years he has coached our eleven and materially aided in bringing up the standard on the football field. He is one of the greatest punters in the country, and soon will enter his father's brokerage office in

He is one of the greatest punters in the country. For two years he has coached our eleven and aided materially in raising our standard of play. He is now to leave us and enter the office of his father, a broker in

In the following estimate of the present method of observing Decoration Day, the sentence as a whole has unity, but the descriptive relative clause beginning with "those who is faulty :

* Indeed, it seems that outing pleasures take prominence over the duty we owe to those who fought to maintain the Union and by whose efforts and blood we now enjoy the principles so dearly bought.

* Johnson spent a great deal of his time in ransacking the books of his father's library, from which he acquired a mass of miscellaneous knowledge.

* One of the most prominent traits of the American character is love of liberty. One explanation of this is that the Americans are descended for the most part from the English, and the independence of the English spirit is proverbial.

Outing pleasures, it seems, now take precedence of our solemn duty to those who shed their blood to maintain the Union under which we live.

Johnson spent a great deal of his time in ransacking the books of his father's library and acquiring from them a mass of miscellaneous knowledge.

One of the most prominent traits of the American character is love of liberty. This is due in great measure to the fact that Americans are descended from the English, a race proverbial for their independence of spirit.

too much for one sentence;

The following has altogether the end fails utterly to recall the beginning:

The main cause for this state of affairs [lack of class-spirit] is

The chief responsibility for this state of affairs in our college rests

that in this college there are many fraternities which take men from all classes, and, being in this manner thrown together, the men forget their classes and a Freshman very often becomes the close friend of a Sophomore, of a Junior, or even perhaps of a Senior.

*The criticisms are generally very severe and I have received many discouraging set-backs throughout the course, more discouraging owing to the fact that I thought my work good.

with the many fraternities which admit men from all the classes. Being thus thrown together, the fraternitymembers forget class-distinctions, to the extent that a Freshman very often becomes the close friend of a Sophomore, of a Junior, or even perhaps of a Senior.

The criticisms, which were usually very severe, have given me many a discouraging set-back, all the more discouraging because I thought my work good.

The following, taken from a writer of some reputation, is singularly awkward in mixing up, through the misuse of "and," a single fact with a general phenomenon :

Our bees are soon all back, and more with them, for we have touched the box here and there with the cork of a bottle of anise oil, and this fragrant and pungent oil will attract bees half a mile or more. When no flowers can be found, this is the quickest way to obtain a bee.

* But just a few lines more and he speaks of language as a machine.

The equinoctial storm occurred last Thursday, during which the lightning struck a tree near the schoolhouse.

She [Miss Raby] has a half dozen very small ones over whom she presides and teaches them in her simple way until they are big or learned enough to face the great schoolroom.

more

Soon our bees are all back, and with them, for we have touched the box here and there with the cork of a bottle of anise oil. This fragrant and pungent oil will attract bees half a mile or more, and, when flowers are not to be had, is the most effective bait.

But, only a few lines farther down, he speaks of language as a machine.

During the equinoctial storm (which occurred) last Thursday the lightning struck a tree near the schoolhouse.

She presides over a half dozen very small ones, whom she teaches in her simple way until they are big enough or learned enough to face the great schoolroom.

The following, though not positively wrong, is unwieldy :

History is like the short space lighted up by a flickering taper in the midst of infinite glooms and mysteries, and its greatest events brief scenes in a vast drama of conflicting forces where the actors are passing in rapid succession, rising from and vanishing into the allembracing darkness.

History is like the short space lighted up by a flickering taper in the midst of infinite glooms and mysteries; its greatest events are brief scenes in a vast draina of conflicting forces where the actors, etc.

The following would be much better expressed in two sentences, one for the speaker, one for the sailor :

* I heard the tapping of a walking-stick along the hard-frozen road. I ran to the door to see who was passing; a blind sailor called out to me and asked me to help him into the inn.

Hearing the tap of a walkingstick along the hard-frozen road, I ran to the door to see who was passing. A blind sailor called out to me and asked me to help him into the inn.

The following, from a critical review, is wholly lacking in unity of sentence-structure; it is not even grammatical :

Mr. H, to make things still more difficult for the reviewer, expresses a very low opinion of the value possessed by current criticism. He not only places the average critic in comparison with Matthew Arnold; this of itself would be bad enough. Having thus given the modern pretender a coup de grace, Mr. H———— buries him completely by stating that "too much of what is now called criticism is the improvised chatter of a raw lad, portentously ignorant of the matter in hand."

Not only does he place the average critic in comparison with Matthew Arnold,-this of itself would be bad enough,-but, having thus given the modern pretender the coup de grace, he buries him under the assertion that "too much," etc.

13. Violation of Unity; Relative Pronouns, Adverbs, etc.-In general the unity of the sentence is impaired, if not actually marred, by appending one relative clause or phrase to another. Even a single relative clause, unless it be one of

description (see §§ 11, 12), should often be reconstructed into

an independent sentence.

*The class-work is very helpful, especially the daily writing of themes, which makes one learn to

think quickly and express himself properly.

With these writings [Cicero's] young divines are more conversant than with those of Demosthenes, who by many degrees excelled the other, at least as an orator.

In

common

phrase, "these things regulate themselves," which means, of course, that God regulates them by his general laws.

In the following, the relative Thus with her few notes does Nature ring the changes of the seasons; which we admire and, endeavoring to imitate, find but shadowy success.

As we rode to town we met a man who was talking to a little girl in a red sunbonnet, who was carrying a basket on her arm.

The class-room work is very helpful, especially the daily writing of themes; this makes one learn to think quickly and express one's self properly.

With these writings young divines are more conversant than with those of Demosthenes; yet Demosthenes, at least as an orator, excelled Cicero by many degrees. In common phrase, "these things regulate themselves;" the phrase means, of course, that God regulates them by his general laws. "which" is ambiguous :

Thus with her few notes does Nature ring the changes of the seasons. We admire and try to imitate her, but with only shadowy

success.

As we rode to town we met a man (who was) talking with a little girl; she wore a red sunbonnet and was carrying a basket on her

arm.

The following not only falls short of perfect unity, but is awkward in the repetition of "whose":

As we walked through the beautiful streets whose sides were lined with maple trees whose leaves were just changing their color, we wondered whose taste had adorned the town.

As we walked through the beautiful streets and observed on each side the line of maple trees, the leaves of which were just changing their color, we wondered whose taste had adorned the town.

The following is very bad; it should be recast in three

sentences:

The author is himself a representative of the older school of

The author is himself a representative of the older school of

Social Democrats, of which probably the best exponent in Germany is Liebknecht, who are characterized more by their bitter antagonism to the existing order of things than by a wise and carefully digested method of effecting a change, which is seemingly the ambition of the newer school.

Social Democrats. This school, of which the best exponent in Germany is probably Liebknecht, is characterized more by its bitter antagonism to the existing order of things than by a wise and carefully digested method of effecting a change. Such a method of change is seemingly the ambition of the newer school.

On the other hand, the unity of the sentence is not necessarily impaired by two or more relative clauses referring to the same antecedent.

The object of . . . that education in which man intervenes, and which I shall distinguish as artificial education, is to make good these defects in Nature's methods.-HUXLEY.

Still, even where the relative clauses refer to the same antecedent, the sentence as a whole may fail to present the leading thought from "but one point of view." For example:

He built on the brow of the hill a large stone house which cost twenty thousand dollars and which commanded a fine view of the surrounding country.

The chief merit of the house is the view from it; the cost is quite subordinate. Yet view and cost are here made coordinate. The sentence can be truly unified only by subordinating the cost :

On the brow of the hill he built, for twenty thousand dollars, a large stone house which commanded a fine view of the surrounding country.

In general, the construction with "where" is as dangerous to unity as the construction with "which." Some specimens have been corrected already; a few more are given here:

The vessel approached the shore and the passengers soon crowded into the boats and reached the beach in safety, where the inhabitants received them with kindness and provided them with shelter.

The vessel having approached the shore, the passengers soon crowded into the boats and reached the beach in safety. Here the inhabitants received them with kindness and provided them with shelter,

« AnteriorContinuar »