The pallid limit and, transformed at last, Lies, sunlight and salvation--warms the soul It sweetens, softens! Would you pass that goal, Gain love's birth at the limit's happier verge,
And, where an iridescence lurks, but urge
The hesitating pallor on to prime
Of dawn!--true blood-streaked, sun-warmth, actiontime,
By heart-pulse ripened to a ruddy glow
Of gold above my clay-I scarce should know
From gold's self, thus suffused! For gold means love. What means the sad slow silver smile above
My clay but pity, pardon?--at the best, But acquiescence that I take my rest, Contented to be clay, while in your heaven The sun reserves love for the Spirit-Seven Companioning God's throne they lamp before, —Leaves earth a mute waste only wandered o’er By that pale soft sweet disempassioned moon Which smiles me slow forgiveness! Such, the boon I beg? Nay, dear, submit to this-just this Supreme endeavor! As my lips now kiss Your feet, my arms convulse your shrouding robe, My eyes, acquainted with the dust, dare probe Your eyes above for-what, if born, would blind Mine with redundant bliss, as flash may find The inert nerve, sting awake the palsied limb, Bid with life's ecstasy sense overbrim And suck back death in the resurging joy- So grant me-love, whole, sole, without alloy !
Vainly! The promise withers! I employ Lips, arms, eyes, pray the prayer which finds the word, Make the appeal which must be felt, not heard, And none the more is changed your calm regard : Rather, its sweet and soft grow harsh and hard- Forbearance, then repulsion, then disdain. Avert the rest! I rise, see !—make, again Once more, the old departure for some track Untried yet through a world which brings me back Ever thus fruitlessly to find your feet,
To fix your eyes, to pray the soft and sweet Which smile there-take from his new pilgrimage Your outcast, once your inmate, and assuage With love--not placid pardon now-his thirst For a mere drop from out the ocean erst He drank at! Well, the quest shall be renewed,
Fear nothing! Though I linger, unimbued With any drop, my lips thus close. I go! So did I leave you, I have found you so, And doubtlessly, if fated to return,
So shall my pleading persevere and earn Pardon-not love--in that same smile, I learn, And lose the meaning of, to learn once more, Vainly!
What fairy track do I explore?
What magic hall return to, like the gem Centuply-angled o'er a diadem ?
You dwell there, hearted; from your midmost home Rays forth-through that fantastic world I roam Ever-from center to circumference,
Shaft upon colored shaft: this crimsons thence, That purples out its precinct through the waste. Surely I had your sanction when I faced, Fared forth upon that untried yellow ray Whence I retrack my steps? They end to-day Where they began, before your feet, beneath Your eyes, your smile: the blade is shut in sheath, Fire quenched in flint; irradiation, late Triumphant through the distance, finds its fate, Merged in your blank pure soul, alike the source And tomb of that prismatic glow divorce Absolute, all-conclusive! Forth I fared, Treading the lambent flamelet little cared If now its flickering took the topaz tint, If now my dull-caked path gave sulphury hint Of subterranean rage-no stay nor stint To yellow, since you sanctioned that I bathe, Burnish me, soul and body, swim and swathe In yellow license. Here I reek suffused With crocus, saffron, orange, as I used With scarlet, purple, every dye o' the bow Born of the storm-cloud. As before, you show Scarce recognition, no approval, some Mistrust, more wonder at a man become Monstrous in garb, nay-flesh disguised as well, Through his adventure. Whatsoe'er befell,
I followed, wheresoe'er it wound, that vein You authorized should leave your whiteness, stain Earth's somber stretch beyond your midmost place Of vantage,trode that tinct whereof the trace On garb and flesh repel you! Yes, I plead Your own permission-your command, indeed,
That who would worthily retain the love
Must share the knowledge shrined those eyes above, Go boldly on adventure, break through bounds O' the quintessential whiteness that surrounds Your feet, obtain experience of each tinge That bickers forth to broaden out, impinge Plainer his foot its pathway all distinct From every other. Ah, the wonder, linked With fear, as exploration manifests
What agency it was first tipped the crests Of unnamed wild-flower, soon protruding grew Portentous mid the sands, as when his hue
Betrays him and the burrowing snake gleams through; Till, last .. but why parade more shame and pain? Are not the proofs upon me? Here again
I pass into your presence, I receive
Your smile of pity, pardon, and I leave . . No, not this last of times I leave you, mute, Submitted to my penance, so my May yet again adventure, tread, from source To issue, one more ray of rays which course Each other, at your bidding, from the sphere Silver and sweet, their birthplace, down that drear Dark of the world,--you promise shall return Your pilgrim jeweled as with drops o' the urn The rainbow paints from, and no smatch at all Of ghastliness at edge of some cloud-pall Heaven cowers before, as earth awaits the fall O' the bolt and flash of doom. Who trusts your word Tries the adventure: and returns-absurd As frightful-in that sulphur-steeped disguise Mocking the priestly cloth-of-gold, sole prize The arch-heretic was wont to bear away Until he reached the burning. No, I say: No fresh adventure! No more seeking love At end of toil, and finding, calm above My passion, the old statuesque regard, The sad petrific smile!
And hateful than mistaken and obtuse
Unreason of a she-intelligence!
You very woman with the pert pretense
To match the male achievement! Like enough! Ay, you were easy victors, did the rough Straightway efface itself to smooth, the gruff
Grind down and grow a whisper,-did man's truth
Subdue, for sake of chivalry and ruth, Its rapier edge to suit the bulrush-spear Womanly falsehood fights with! O that ear All fact pricks rudely, that thrice superfine Femininity of sense, with right divine To waive all process, take result stain-free From out the very muck wherein . . .
The true slave's querulous outbreak! All the rest Be resignation! Forth at your behest
I fare. Who knows but this-the crimson-questMay deepen to a sunrise, not decay
To that cold sad sweet smile?-which I obey.
AND SO you found that poor room dull, Dark, hardly to your taste, my Dear? Its features seemed unbeautiful:
But this I know-'twas there, not here, You plighted troth to me, the word
Which ask that poor room how it heard!
And this rich room obtains your praise Unqualified, so bright, so fair, So all whereat perfection stays?
Ay, but remember-here, not there, The other word was spoken! Ask This rich room how you dropped the mask!
WOULD it were I had been false, not you
I that am nothing, not you that are all :
I, never the worse for a touch or two
On my speckled hide; not you, the pride Of the day, my swan, that a first fleck's fall On her wonder of white must unswan, undo!
I had dipped in life's struggle and, out again, Bore specks of it here, there, easy to see, When I found my swan and the cure was plain; The dull turned bright as I caught your white
On my bosom: you saved me—saved in vain If you ruined yourself, and all through me!
Yes, all through the speckled beast I am,
Who taught you to stoop; you gave me yourself, And bound your soul by the vows which damn: Since on better thought you break, as you
Vows-words, no angel set down, some elf Mistook,-for an oath, an epigram!
Yes, might I judge you, here were my heart. And a hundred its like, to treat as you pleased! I choose to be yours, for my proper part, Yours, leave me or take, or mar or make; If I acquiesce, why should you be teased
With the conscience-prick and the memory-smart?
But what will God say? O my Sweet, Think, and be sorry you did this thing! Though earth were unworthy to feel your feet, There's a heaven above may deserve your love; Should you forfeit heaven for a snapt gold ring And a promise broke, were it just or meet ?
And I to have tempted you! I, who tried Your soul, no doubt, till it sank! Unwise, I loved and was lowly, loved and aspired, Loved, grieving or glad, till I made you mad, And you meant to have hated and despised- Whereas, you deceived me nor inquired!
She, ruined? How? No heaven for her? Crowns to give, and none for the brow That looked like marble and smelt like myrrh?
Shall the robe be worn, and the palm-branch borne,
And she go graceless, she graced now
Beyond all saints, as themselves aver?
Hardly! That must be understood!
The earth is your place of penance, then ; And what will it prove? I desire your good,
But, plot as I may, I can find no way
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