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your fortune is as much improved as your understanding in such company." Improved," replied the other; "you know But let it go no farther —a great secret—five hundred a year to begin with -my lord's word of honour for it. His lordship took me down in his own chariot yesterday, and we had a tête-à-tête dinner in the country, where we talked of nothing else." "I fancy you forgot, sir," cried I, "you told us but this moment of your dining yesterday in town." "Did I say so?" replied he coolly; "to be sure, if I said so it was so. Dined in town? Egad, now I do remember, I did dine in town; but I dined in the country too, for you must know, my boys, I eat two dinners. By-thebye, I am grown as nice as the devil in my eating. I will tell you a pleasant affair about that: we were a select party of us to dine at Lady Grogram's, an affected piece-But let it go no farther a secret; well, there happened to be no assafoetida in the sauce to a turkey, upon which, says I, I will hold a thousand guineas and say done first thatBut, dear Drybone, you are an honest creature, lend me half a crown for a minute or two or so, just till But, harkee, ask me for it the next time we meet, or it may be twenty to one but I forget to pay you."

MY

XIV

Beau Tibbs entertains

Y little beau yesterday overtook me again in one of the public walks, and slapping me on the shoulder saluted me with an air of the most

perfect familiarity. His dress was the same as usual, except that he had more powder in his hair, wore a dirtier shirt, a pair of temple spectacles, and his hat under his arm.

As I knew him to be an harmless, amusing little thing, I could not return his smiles with any degree of severity; so we walked forward on terms of the utmost intimacy, and in a few minutes discussed all the usual topics preliminary to particular conversation.

The oddities that marked his character, however, soon began to appear; he bowed to several welldressed persons, who, by their manner of returning the compliment, appeared perfect strangers. At intervals he drew out a pocket-book, seeming to take memorandums before all the company, with much importance and assiduity. In this manner he led me through the length of the whole walk, fretting at his absurdities, and fancying myself laughed at not less than him by every spectator.

seen."

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When we were got to the end of our procession, "Bless me," cries he, with an air of vivacity, "I never saw the park so thin in my life before; there's no company at all to-day-not a single face to be "No company?" interrupted I peevishly; no company where there is such a crowd? Why, man, there's too much. What are the thousands that have been laughing at us but company?" "Lord, my dear," returned he, with the utmost good humour, "you seem immensely chagrined; but, blast me, when the world laughs at me, I laugh at the world, and so we are even. My Lord Trip, Bill Squash the Creolian, and I sometimes

make a party at being ridiculous, and so we say and do a thousand things for the joke sake. But I see you are grave, and if you are for a fine, grave, sentimental companion, you shall dine with me and my wife to-day; I must insist on 't. I will introduce you to Mrs. Tibbs, a lady of as elegant qualifications as any in nature; she was bredbut that's between ourselves-under the inspection of the Countess of Allnight. A charming body of voice- But no more of that; she will give us a song. You shall see my little girl, too, Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Tibbs, a sweet, pretty creature; I design her for my Lord Drumstick's eldest son; but that's in friendship, let it go no farther; she's but six years old, and yet she walks a minuet, and plays on the guitar immensely already. I intend she shall be as perfect as possible in every accomplishment. In the first place, I will make her a scholar; I'll teach her Greek myself, and learn that language purposely to instruct her-but let that be a secret.

Thus saying, without waiting for a reply, he took me by the arm and hauled me along. We passed through many dark alleys and winding ways, for, from some motives to me unknown, he seemed to have a particular aversion to every frequented street. At last, however, we got to the door of a dismal-looking house in the outlets of the town, where, he informed me, he chose to reside for the benefit of the air.

We entered the lower door, which ever seemed to lie most hospitably open, and I began to ascend an old and creaking staircase, when, as he mounted

to show me the way, he demanded whether I delighted in prospects; to which answering in the affirmative, "Then," says he, "I shall show you one of the most charming in the world out of my windows; we shall see the ships sailing and the whole country for twenty miles round, tip-top, quite high. My Lord Swamp would give ten thousand guincas for such a one, but as I sometimes pleasantly tell him, I always love to keep my prospects at home, that my friends may see me the oftener."

By this time we were arrived as high as the stairs would permit us to ascend, till we came to what he was facetiously pleased to call the first floor down the chimney, and, knocking at the door, a voice from within demanded, "Who's there?" My conductor answered that it was he. But this not satisfying the querist, the voice again repeated the demand, to which he answered louder than before, and now the door was opened by an old woman with cautious reluctance.

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When we were got in he welcomed me to his house with great ceremony, and, turning to the old woman, asked where was her lady. Good troth," replied she in a peculiar dialect, "she's washing your two shirts at the next door, because they have taken an oath against lending out the tub any longer." "My two shirts?" cries he in a tone that faltered with confusion, "what does the idiot mean? "I ken what I mean well enough," replied the other; "she's washing your twa shirts at the next door, because" "Fire and fury, no more of thy stupid explanations!” cried

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he; go and inform her we have got company. Were that Scotch hag to be for ever in my family, she would never learn politeness, nor forget that absurd, poisonous accent of hers, or testify the smallest specimen of breeding or high life; and yet it is very surprising, too, as I had her from a parliament man, a friend of mine, from the Highlands, one of the politest men in the world; but that's a secret."

We waited some time for Mrs. Tibbs' arrival, during which interval I had a full opportunity of surveying the chamber and all its furniture; which consisted of four chairs with old wrought bottoms, that he assured me were his wife's embroidery, a square table that had been once japanned, a cradle in one corner, a lumbering cabinet in the other; a broken shepherdess and a mandarin without a head were stuck over the chimney, and round the walls several paltry unframed pictures, which, he observed, were all his own drawing. What do you think, sir, of that head in the corner done in the manner of Grisoni? There's the true keeping in it; it's my own face, and though there happens to be no likeness, a Countess offered me a hundred for its fellow. I refused her, for, hang it, that would be mechanical, you know!"

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The wife at last made her appearance, at once a slattern and a coquette, much emaciated, but still carrying the remains of beauty. She made twenty apologies for being seen in such an odious dishabille, but hoped to be excused, as she had stayed out all night at the gardens with the Countess, who was excessively fond of the horns. "And, indeed, my