expedition, ran down to the protection of the company, whom he heard talking below in the kitchen. His arrival detained my landlady from returning to her reft: for he was just about to leave the other two guests to the care of Sufan; but the friend of young fquire Allworthy was not to be fo neglected, efpecially as he called for a pint of wine to be mulled. She immediately obeyed, by putting the fame quantity of perry to the fire: for this readily answered to the name of every kind of wine.

The Irish footman was retired to bed, and the postboy was going to follow; but Partridge invited him to ftay, and partake of his wine, which the lad very thankfully accepted. The fchoolmafter was indeed afraid to return to bed by himself; and as he did not. know how foon he might lofe the company of my landlady, he was refolved to fecure that of the boy, in whofe prefence he apprehended no danger from the devil, or any of his adherents.

And now arrived another poft boy at the gate; up-on which Sufan being ordered out, returned, introducing two young women in riding habits, one of which was fo very richly laced, that Partridge and the poft-boy inftantly ftarted from their chairs, and my landlady fell to her court'fies, and her ladyfhips, with great eagerness.

The lady in the rich habit faid, with a fmile of great condefcenfion, If you will give me leave, Madam, I will warm myself a few minutes at your kitchen fire; for it is really very cold; but I must insist on difturbing no one from his feat.' This was fpoken on account of Partridge, who had retreated to the other end of the room, ftruck with the utmost awe and aftonithment at the fplendor of the lady's drefs. Indeed, fhe had a much better title to refpect than this: for The was one of the most beautiful creatures in the : world.

The lady earnestly defired Partridge to return to his feat, but could not prevail. She then pulled off her gloves, and difplayed to the fire two hands, which had every property of fnow in them, except that of meltng. Her companion, who was indeed her maid, like

wife pulled off her gloves, and difcovered what bore an exact refemblance, in cold and colour, to a piece of frozen beef.

I wish, Madam,' quoth the latter, your ladyfhip would not think of going any farther to-night. I am terribly afraid your lady fhip will not be able to bear the fatigue.'

Why fure,' cries the landlady, her lady fhip's 'honour can never intend it. O blefs me, farther to-night indeed! let me befecch your lady ship not to think on't-But to be fure, your ladyfhip can't. What will your honour be pleafed to have for fupper! I have mutton of all kinds, and some nice 'chicken.'

'I think, Madam,' faid the lady, it would be • rather breakfast than fupper; but I can't eat any thing; and if I ftay, fhall only lie down for an hour or two. However, if you pleafe, Madam, you may get me a little fack-whey made very small and thin.' Yes, Madam,' cries the mistress of the house, I have fome excellent white-wine.' You have no fack then,' fays the lady. Yes, an't please your honour, I have; I may challenge the country for that but let me beg your ladyfhip to eat fome. thing.'.

་

Upon my word, I can't eat a morfel,' anfwered the lady; and I fhall be much obliged to you, if you will please to get my apartment ready as foon as poffible for I am refolved to be on horfeback again in three hours.'

6

Why Sufan,' cries the landlady, is there a fire • lit yet in the Wild-goofe?I

am forry, Madam, all my best rooms are full. Several people of the first quality are now in bed. Here's a great young 'fquire, and many other great gentlefolks of quality.'

Sufan anfwered, That the Irish gentlemen were got into the Wild-goofe.'

Was ever any thing like it!' fays the miftrefs; why the devil would you not keep fome of the best rooms for the quality, when you know fcarce a day paffes without fome calling here? If they be gen

⚫tlemens

'tlemen, I am certain, when they know it is for her ladyship, they will get up again.'

Not upon my account,' fays the lady; I will have no perfon difturbed for me. If you have a room that is commonly decent, it will ferve me very well, though it be never fo plain. I beg, Ma'dam, you will not give yourself fo much trouble · on my account.' O, Madam,' cries the other, I have feveral very good rooms for that matter, but none good enough for your honour's ladyfhip. However, as you are fo condefcending to take up with the best I have, do, Sufan, get a fire in the Rofe this minute. Will your Ladyfhip be pleafed to go up now, or ftay till the fire is lighted? I ⚫ think, I have fufficiently warmed myself,' answered the lady; fo if you please I will go now: I am afraid I have kept people, and particularly that gentleman, (meaning Partridge), too long in the cold already. Indeed I cannot bear to think of keeping any perfon from the fire this dreadful weather.' She then departed with her maid, the landlady marching with two lighted candles before her.

'

When that good woman returned, the converfation in the kitchen was all upon the charms of the young lady. There is indeed in perfect beauty a power which none almost can withstand; for my landlady, though fhe was not pleased at the negative given to the fupper, declared the had never feen fo lovely a creature. Partridge ran out into the most extravagant encomiums on her face, though he could not refrain from paying fome compliments to the gold lace on her habit: the poft-boy fung forth the praifes of hergoodness, which were likewife echoed by the other poft-boy, who was now come in. • She's a true good lady, I warrant her,' fays he; fhe hath mercy " upon dumb creatures; for fhe asked me every now and tan upon the journey, if I did not think the fhould hurt the horfes by riding too faft; and, when fhe came in, the charged me to give them as much corn as ever they would eat.'

6

Such

Such charms are there in affability, and fo fure is it to attract the praises of all kinds of people. It may indeed be compared to the celebrated Mrs. Huffey * It is equally fure to fet off every female perfection to the higheft advantage, and to palliate and conceal every defect. A fhort reflection which we could not forbear making in this place, where my reader bath feen the lovelinefs of an affable deportment; and truth will now oblige us to contraft it, by fhewing the reverse.

CHAP. IV.

Containing infallible noftrums for procuring univerfal difefteem and hatred.

HE lady had no fooner laid herself on her pil

kitchen to regale with fome of thofe dainties which her miftrefs had refufed.

The company, at her entrance, fhewed her the fame refpect which they had before paid to her miftrefs, by rifing, but the forgot to imitate her, by defiring them to fet down again. Indeed it was fcarce poffible they fhould have done fo: for the placed her chair in fuch a pofture, as to occupy almost the whole fire. She then ordered a chicken to be broiled that inftant, declaring, if it was not ready in a quar ter of an hour, fhe would not stay for it. Now, though the faid chicken was then at rooft in the ftable, and required the feveral ceremonies of catching, killing, and picking, before it was brought to the gridiron, my landlady would neverthelets have undertaken to do all within the time; but the guest, being unfortunately admitted behind the fcenes, must have been witness to the Fourberie; the poor woman was therefore obliged to confefs that she had none in the houfe; but, Madam,' faid fhe, I can get any kind of mutton in an inftant from the butcher's.'

* A celebrated mantua-maker in the Strand, famous for fetting off the fhapes of women.

your

Do you think then,' anfwered the waiting-gentlewoman, that I have the ftomach of a horse to eat mutton at this time of night? Sure you people that keep inns imagine your betters are like felves. Indeed I expected to get nothing at this wretched place. I wonder my lady would stop at it. I fuppofe none but tradefmen and grafiers ever call here.' The landlady fired at this indignity offered to her houfe; however fhe fuppreffed her temper, and contented herself with faying, • Very good quality frequented it, fhe thanked heaven!' Don't tell me,' cries the other, of quality! I believe I know more of people of quality than fuch as you. But, prithee, without troubling me with any of your impertinence, do tell me what I can have for fupper; for, though I cannot eat horseflefh, I am really hungry.' Why truly, Madam,' answered the landlady, you could not take me again at fuch a difadvantage: for I must confefs I have nothing in the houfe, unlefs a cold piece of beef, which indeed a gentleman's footman and the postboy have almost cleared to the bone.' • Woman,' faid Mrs Abigail, (fo for fhortnefs we will call her), I intreat you not to make me fick. If I had fafted a month, I could not eat what had been touched by the fingers of fuch fellows: is there nothing neat or decent to be had in this horrid place? What • think you of fome eggs and bacon, Madam,' faid the landlady Are your eggs new laid? are you certain they were laid to-day? and let me have the bacon cut very nice and thin; for I can't endure any thing that's grofs.-Prithee, try if you can do a little tolerably for once, and don't think you have a farmer's wife, or fome of thofe creatures in the houfe.'-The landlady then began to handle her knife; but the other flopt her, faying. Good woman, I must infift upon your first wathing your hands; for I am extremely nice, and have been always ufed from my cradle to have every thing in the most elegant manner.'

The landlady, who governed herself with much difficulty, began now the neceffary preparations;