Now Mrs. Waters and our hero had no fooner fat down together, than the former began to play this artillery upon the latter. But here, as we are about to attempt a description hitherto uneffayed either in profe or verfe, we think proper to invoke the affiftance of certain aerial beings, who will we doubt not, come kindly to our aid on this occafion.

Say then, ye graces, you that inhabit the heavenly manfions of Seraphina's countenance; for you are truly divine, are always in her prefence, and well know all the arts of charming; fay, what were 'the weapons now used to captivate the heart of Mr. • Jones.'

First, from two lovely blue eyes, whofe bright ' orbs flashed lightning at their difcharge, flew forth two pointed ogles. But happily for our hero, hit only a vast piece of beef which he was then conveying into his plate, and harmless spent their force. The fair warrior perceived their mifcarriage, and im. 'mediately from her fair bofom drew forth a deadly figh. A figh, which none could have heard unmoved, and which was fufficient at once to have 'fwept off a dozen beaus; fo foft, fo fweet, fo tender, that the infinuating air must have found its fubtle way to the heart of our hero, had it not luckily been driven from his ears by the coarse bubbling of fome bottled ale, which at that time he was pouring forth. Many other weapons did the affay; but the god of eating (if there be any fuch deity; for I 'do not confidently affert it) preferved his votary; or * perhaps it may not be dignus vindice nodus, and the 'prefent fecurity of Jones may be accounted for by 'natural means: for as love frequently preferves from the attacks of hunger, fo may hunger poffibly, in 'fome cafes, defend us against love.

The fair one, enraged at her frequent difappoint'ments, determined on a thort ceffation of arms. 'Which interval fhe employed in making ready every engine of amorous warfare for the renewing of the ' attack, when dinner fhould be over.

No fooner then was the cloth removed, than fhe f again began her operations. First, having planted

her

⚫her right eye fide ways against Mr. Jones, fhe fhot 'from its corner a molt penetrating glance; which, though great part of its force was spent before it reached our hero, did not vent itself abfolutely without effect. This the fair one perceiving, haftily withdrew her eyes, and levelled them downwards, as if he was concerned for what he had done though by this means the defigned only to draw him from his guard, and indeed to open his eyes, through which the intended to surprise his heart. And now; gently lifting up thofe two bright orbs which had already begun to make an impreflion on poor Jones; 'fhe discharged a volley of small charms at once from her whole countenance in a fmile. Not a fmile of mirth, nor of joy; but a smile of affection, which 'moft ladies have always ready at their command, and which ferves them to fhow at once their good-humour, their pretty dimples, and their white teeth.

This fmile our hero received full in his eyes, and was immediately ftaggered with its force. He then began to fee the defigns of the enemy, and indeed to feel their fuccefs. A parley was now fet on foot ⚫ between the parties; during which the artful fair fo flily and imperceptibly carried on her attack, that fhe had almoft fubdued the heart of our hero, before fhe again repaired to acts of hoftility. To confefs the truth, I am afraid Mr. Jones maintained a kind of Dutch defence, and treacherously delivered up the garrifon, without duly weighing his allegiance to the fair Sophia. In fhort, no fooner had the amo · rous parley ended, and the lady had unmasked the royal battery, by carelessly letting her handkerchief drop from her neck, than the heart of Mr. Jones was entirely taken, and the fair conqueror enjoyed the ufual fruits of her victory.

Here the graces think proper to end their defcription, and here we think proper to end the chapter. 10 yas svad

Afriendly converfation in the kitchen, which had a very common, though not very friendly conclufion.

W

HILE our lovers were entertaining themfelves in the manner which is partly defcribed in the foregoing chapter; they were likewife furnishing out an entertainment for their good friends in the kitchen. And this in a double fenfe, by affording them matter for their converfation, and at the fame time, drink to enliven their fpirits.

There were now affembled round the kitchen fire, befides my landlord and landlady, who occafionally went backward and forward, Mr. Partridge, the ferjeant, and the coachman who drove the young lady and her maid.'

Partridge having acquainted the company with what he had learnt from the Man of the Hill, concerning the fituation in which Mrs. Waters had been found by Jones, the ferjeant proceeded to that part of her history which was known to him. He faid, fhe was the wife of Mr. Waters, who was a captain in their regiment, and had often been with him. at quarters. 'Some folks,' fays he, ufed indeed to • doubt whether they were lawfully married in a church or no. But, for my part, that's no bufi• nefs of mine; I must own if I was put to my corporal oath, I believe the is little better than one of us; and I fancy the captain may go to heaven when the fun fhines upon a rainy day. But if he 'does, that is neither here nor there for he won't " want company. And the lady, to give the devil his due, is a very good fort of lady, and loves the cloth, and is always defirous to do ftrict juftice to it; for fhe hath begged off many a poor foldier, and, by her good-will, would never have any of 'them punished. But yet, to be fure, enfign Nor⚫therton and the were very well acquainted together, at our laft quarters, that is the very right and truth of the matter. But the captain he knows nothing

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⚫about it; and as long as there is enough for him too, what does it fignify? He loves her not a bit the worfe, and I am certain would run any man through the body that was to abufe her, therefore I won't abufe her, for my part I only repeat what other folks fay; and to be certain, what every body fays, there must be fome truth in.' Ay, ay, a great ' deal of truth, I warrant you, cries Partridge; Ve• ritas odium parit.' All a parcel of fcandalous ftuff,' anfwered the mistress of the house. I am fure, now fhe is dreft, fhe looks like a very good fort of lady, and the behaves herself like one; for fhe gave me a guinea for the ufe of my cloaths." A very good lady indeed,' cries the landlord; and if you had not been a little too hafty, you woul not` have quarrelled with her as you did at first.' You need mention that with my truly,' answered. fhe; if it had not been for your nonfenfe, nothing hadhappened. You must be meddling with what did not belong to you, and throw in your fool's difcourse.' Well, well,' answered he, what's paft cannot be mended, so there's an end of the matter.' Yes,' cries fhe, for this once; but will it be mend⚫ed ever the more hereafter? This is not the first time I have fuffered for your numfcull's pate. I wish you would always hold your tongue in the house, and meddle only in matters without doors which concern you. Don't you remember what happened about feven years ago?". Nay, my dear, returned he,' don't rip up old ftories. Come, come, all's well, and I am forry for what I have done.' The landlady was going to reply, but was prevented by the peace making ferjeant, forely to the difpleafure of Partridge, who was a great lover of what is called fun, and a great promoter of thofe harmless quarrels which tend rather to the production of comical than tragical incidents.

The ferjeant afked Partridge whither he and his mafter were travelling? None of your magifters,' anfwered Partridge; I am no man's fervant, Iaffure you; for though I have had misfortunes in the world, I write gentleman after my name; and

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as poor and fimple as I may appear now, I have taught grammar fchool in my time. Sed hei mihi! • non fum quod fui.' No offence I hope, Sir,' faid the ferjeant where then, if I may venture to be fo bold, may you and your friend be travelling?" - You have now denominated us right,' fays Par tridge Amici fumus And I promise you my friend is one of the greatest gentlemen in the kingdom.' (at which words both landlord and landlady prick. ed up their ears.) He is the heir of 'fquire Allworthy.' What, the 'fquire who doth fo much good all over the country cries my landlady, Even he,' answered Partridge. Then I warrant,' fays he, he'll have a swinging great eftate here. after.' Moft certainly,' answered Partridge. Well,' replied the landlady, I thought the first moment I faw him he looked like a good fort of gentleman; • but my husband here, to be fure, is wifer than any body.' I own, my dear,' cries he, it was a mif • take.' A mistake indeed!' anfwered the; but when did you ever know me to make fuch miftakes?' But how comes it, Sir,' cries the landlord, that fuch a great gentleman walks about the country afoot!' I don't know,' returned Partridge; great gentlemen have humours fometimes. He hath now a dozen horfes and fervants at Gloucefter; and nothing would ferve him, but last night, it being very hot weather, he muft cool himfelf with a walk to yon high hill, whither I likewife walked with him to bear him company; but if ever you catch me there again; for I was never fo frightened in all my life. We met with the strangest man there.' I'll be hanged,' cries the landlord, ifit was not the Man of the Hill, as they call him; if indeed he be a man; but I know feveral people who believe it is the devil that lives there. Nay, nay, like enough,? fays Partridge; and now you put me in the head of it, I verily and fincerely believe it was the devil; though I could not perceive his cloven foot, but pers haps he might have the power given him to hide that, fince, evil spirits can appear in what thapes they pleafe. And pray Sir,' fays the ferjeant, ne of

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