From all the thoufand female toys,
From ev'ry trifle that employs
The out or infide of their heads
Between their toylets and their beds.
In a dull stream, which moving flow,
You hardly fee the current flow,
If a fmall breeze obftructs the course,
It whirls about for want of force,
And in its narrow circle gathers
Nothing but chaff, and ftraws, and feathers:
The current of a female mind
Stops thus, and turns with ev'ry wind;
Thus whirling round, together draws
Fools, fops, and rakes, for chaff and ftraws.
Hence we conclude, no women's hearts
Are won by virtue, wit, and parts;
Nor are the men of fenfe to blame,
For breafts incapable of flame:
The fault muft on the nymphs be plac'd,
Grown fo corrupted in their tafte.
The pleader, having spoke his beft,
Had witnefs ready to atteft,
Who fairly could on oath depofe,
When questions on the fact arose,
That ev'ry article was true;
Nor further thofe deponents knew: ----
Therefore he humbly would infift,
The bill might be with cofts difmist.
The cause appear'd of fo much weight, That Venus, from her judgment-feat, Defir'd them not to talk fo loud, Else she must interpofe a cloud : For, if the heav'nly folk fhould know Thefe pleadings in the courts below, That mortals here difdain to love, She ne'er could fhew her face above; For Gods, their betters, are too wife To value that, which men despise. And then, said she, my son and I Muft ftrole in air 'twixt earth and sky; Or elfe, fhut out from heav'n and earth, Fly to the fea, my place of birth; There live with daggled mermaids pent, And keep on fish perpetual lent.
But, fince the cafe appear'd fo nice,
She thought it beft to take advice.
The Muses by their king's permiffion,
Though foes to love, attend the feffion,
And on the right hand took their places
In order; on the left, the Graces:
To whom she might her doubts propose
On all emergencies that rofe.
The Mufes oft were seen to frown;
The Graces half-afham'd look down;
And 'twas obferv'd, there were but few
Of either fex among the crew,
Whom she or her affeffors knew.
The Goddess foon began to fee,
Things were not ripe for a decree,
And faid fhe muft confult her books,
The lovers' Fletas, Bractons, Cokes.
First to a dapper clerk fhe beckon'd
To turn to Ovid, book the fecond;
She then referr'd them to a place
In Virgil (vide Dido's cafe ;)
As for Tibullus's reports,
They never pass'd for law in courts:
For Cowley's briefs, and pleas of Waller,
Still their authority was fmaller.
There was on both fides much to say: She'd hear the cause another day; And fo fhe did, and then a third; She heard it - there fhe kept her word : But with rejoinders and replies, Long bills, and answers ftuff'd with lyes, Demur, imparlance, and effoign, The parties ne'er could iffue join: For fixteen years the cause was spun, And then flood, where it firft begun. Now, gentle Clio, fing or fay, What Venus meant by this delay. The Goddess, much perplex'd in mind To see her empire thus declin'd, When first this grand debate arose, Above her wisdom to compose, B 4
Conceiv'd a project in her head
To work her ends; which, if it fped,
Wou'd fhew the merits of the cause
Far better than confulting laws.
In a glad hour Lucina's aid
Produc'd on earth a wond'rous maid,
On whom the queen of love was bent
To try a new experiment.
She threw her law-books on the shelf,
And thus debated with herself.
Since men alledge, they ne'er can find
Those beauties in a female mind,
Which raise a flame, that will endure
For ever uncorrupt and pure;
If 'tis with reason they complain,
This inftant shall reftore my reign.
I'll fearch where ev'ry virtue dwells,
From courts inclufive down to cells;
What preachers talk, or fages write:
These I will gather and unite,
And reprefent them to mankind
Collected in that infant's mind.
This faid,fhe plucks in heav'n's high bow'rs A fprig of amaranthine flow'rs,
In nectar thrice infuses bays,
Three times refin'd in Titan's rays;
Then calls the Graces to her aid,
And fprinkles thrice the new-born maid :
From whence the tender skin affumes
A sweetness above all perfumes :
From whence a cleanliness remains,
Incapable of outward stains :
From whence that decency of mind,
So lovely in the female kind;
Where not one careless thought intrudes
Lefs modeft than the speech of prudes;
Where never blufh was call'd in aid,
That spurious virtue in a maid,
A virtue but at fecond-hand;
They blush, because they understand.
The Graces next would act their part,
And fhew'd but little of their art;
Their work was half already done,
The child with native beauty fhone;
The outward form no help requir'd:
Each breathing on her thrice, infpir'd
That gentle, foft, engaging air,
Which in old times adorn'd the fair:
And faid, " Vanessa be the name,
"By which thou shalt be known to fame;
Vaneffa, by the Gods enroll'd :
"Her name on earth--fhall not be told." But ftill the work was not compleat,
When Venus thought on a deceit :
Drawn by her doves, away fhe flies,
And finds out Pallas in the fkies:
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