ILL-NATURED PERSONS.

If thou be a severe, sour-complexioned man, then here I disallow thee to be a competent judge.-Isaak Walton.

EMPTY MINDS.

Some men do wisely to counterfeit a reservedness, to keep their chests always locked, not for fear any one should steal treasure thence, but lest some one should look in and see, that there is nothing within them.-Fuller.

BURNING CHIMNEY-SWEEPS.

A large party are invited to dinner, a great display is to be made; and about an hour before dinner, there is an alarm that the kitchen chimney is on fire! It is impossible to put off the distinguished persons who are expected. It gets very late for the soup and fish; the cook is frantic; all eyes are turned upon the sable consolation of the master chimneysweeper; and up into the midst of the burning chimney is sent one of the miserable little infants of the brush! There is a positive prohibition of this practice, and an enactment of penalties in one of the acts of parliament which respect chimney-sweepers. But what matters acts of parliament, when the pleasures of genteel people are concerned? Or what is a toasted child, compared to the agonies of the mistress of the house with a deranged dinner.--Sydney Smith.

BUTLER'S WIT.

The earl of Dorset, having a great desire to pass an evening with Butler, as a private gentleman, prevailed upon a common friend, Mr. Shepherd, to introduce him into his company at a tavern to which they both resorted. This being done, Butler, while the first bottle was being drunk, appeared very flat and heavy; at the second bottle extremely brisk and lively, abounding in wit and learning, and making himself a most agreeable companion; when the third bottle was finished, he again sank into such stupidity and dullness, that hardly any body could have believed him to be the author of Hudibras. The next day, the earl of Dorset was asked his opinion of him; he answered, "He is like a ninepin, little at both ends, but great in the middle."

THE PROTESTANT CHURCH.

John Wilkes was once asked by a Roman Catholic gentleman, in a warm dispute on religion, "Where was your church before Luther?" "Did you wash your face this morning?" inquired the facetious alderman. "I did, sir." "Then pray, where was your face before it was washed ?"

THE POWER OF HABIT.

The power of habit is exemplified in the case of Jonathan Wild and Count Fathom; Mr. Wild could not keep his hands out the Count's pockets, although he knew they were empty; nor could the Count ab

stain from palming a card, although he was well aware Wild had no money to pay him.

ESSAYS ON TASTE.

There are some readers who have never read an essay on taste, and if they take my advice they never will; for they can no more improve their taste by so doing, than they could improve their appetite or digestion by studying a cookery book.-The Doctor.

EMPTY AND CROWDED CHURCH.

In the latter, it is chance but some present human frailty—an act of inattention on the part of some of the auditory-or a trait of affectation, or, worse, vain glory on that of the preacher-puts us by our best thoughts, disharmonizing the place and the occasion. But wouldst thou know the beauty of holiness? go alone on some week day, borrowing the keys of good master sexton; traverse the cool aisles of some country church; think of the piety that has knelt therethe congregations, old and young, that have found consolation there-the meek pastor-the docile parishioners with no disturbing emotions, no cross conflicting comparisons, drink in the tranquillity of the place, till thou thyself, become fixed as the marble effigies that kneel and weep around thee.-Lamb.

TEDIOUS PERSONS.

A tedious person is one a man would leap a steeple from.-Ben Jonson.

MORTALITY.

To smell to a turf of fresh earth, is wholesome for the body; no less are thoughts of mortality cordial to the soul. "Earth thou art, to earth thou shalt return."-Fuller.

LATE HOURS.

Mr. Barham, author of the Ingolsby Legends, when a youth, studied with Mr. Hodson, afterward principal of Brazennose. This gentleman, who, doubtless discerning, spite of an apparent levity, much that was amiable and high-minded in his pupil, treated him with marked indulgence, sent, however, on one occasion, to demand an explanation of his continued absence from morning chapel. "The fact is, sir," urged his pupil, "you are too late for me." "Too late!" repeated the tutor, in astonishment. "Yes, sir; I cannot sit up till seven o'clock in the morning; I am a man of regular habits, and unless I get to bed by four or five at latest, I am really fit for nothing next day."

THE BEST STYLE.

Take this, reader, for a general rule, that the readiest and plainest style is the most forcible, (if the head be but properly stored,) and that in all ordinary cases, the word which first presents itself is the best.-The Doctor.

When a man's thoughts are clear, the properest words will generally offer themselves first, and his

own judgment will direct him in what order to place them, so as they may be best understood.

NOTES OF ADMIRATION.

Swift mentions a gentleman, who made it a rule in reading, to skip over all sentences where he spied a note of admiration at the end.

THE BEST KIND OF ACID.

Martin Burney was one day explaining the three kinds of acid, very lengthily, to Charles Lamb, when the latter stopped him by saying: "The best of all kind of acid, however, as you know, Martin, is uity -assiduity."

BREVITY.

These are my thoughts; I might have spun them out to a greater length, but I think a little plot of ground, thick sown, is better than a great field, which, for the most part of it, lies fallow.-Norris.

CHILDREN.

"Oh! what blockheads are those wise persons," exclaims Southey, "who think it necessary that a child should comprehend every thing it reads."

OLD ANGELS.

A traveller arriving at the town of Doncaster one evening late in the autumn, alighted at the Old Angel Inn. "The Old Angel!" said he to his fellow-traveller; "you see that even angels on earth grow old.”