can demand a debt of me, nor accuse me of an injury; yet, friend, I should be concerned to think thee as miserable as myself."

Here the Quaker ended with a deep sigh; and Jones presently answered, "I am very sorry, sir, for your unhappiness, whatever is the occasion of it."—" Ah! friend," replied the Quaker, "one only daughter is the occasion. One who was my greatest delight upon earth, and who within this week is run away from me, and is married against my consent. I had provided her a proper match, a sober man, and one of substance; but she, forsooth, would chuse for herself, and away she is gone with a young fellow not worth a groat. If she had been dead, as I suppose thy friend is, I should have been happy!" "That is very strange, sir," said Jones. "Why, would it not be better for her to be dead, than to be a beggar ?" replied the Quaker: "for, as I told you, the fellow is not worth a groat; and surely she cannot expect that I shall ever give her a shilling. No, as she hath married for love, let her live on love if she can ; let her carry her love to market, and see whether any one will change it into silver, or even into halfpence."- -"You know your own concerns best, sir," said Jones." It must have been," continued the Quaker, a long premeditated scheme to cheat me: for they have known one another from their infancy; and I always preach ed to her against love, and told her a thousand times over, it was all folly and wickedness. Nay, the cunning slut pretended to hearken to me, and to despise all wantonness of the flesh; and yet at last broke out at the window two pair of stairs: for I began, indeed, a little to suspect her, and had locked her up carefully, intending the very next morning to have her married to my liking. But she disappointed me within a few hours, and escaped away to the lover of her own chusing, who lost no time: for they were married and bedded, and all within an hour. But it shall be the worst hour's work for them both that ever they did; for they may starve, or beg, or steal together for me. I will never give either of them a farthing." Here Jones, starting up, cried, "I really must be excused; I wish you would leave me."-" Come, come, friend," said the Quaker, "don't give way to concern. You see there are other people miserable, besides yourself."-" I see there are madmen and fools and villains in the world," cries Jones-" But let me give you a piece of advice; send for your daughter and son-in-law home, and don't be yourself the only cause of misery to one you pretend to love."-"Send for her and her husband home!" cries the Quaker loudly, "I would sooner send for the two greatest enemies I have in the world!"-" Well, go home yourself, or where you please," said Jones: "for I will sit no longer in such company." "Nay, friend," answered the Quaker, "I scorn to impose my company on any one." He then

offered to pull money from his pocket, but Jones pushed him with some violence out of the room.

The subject of the Quaker's discourse had so deeply affected Jones, that he stared very wildly all the time he was speaking. This the Quaker had observed, and this, added to the rest of his behaviour, inspired honest Broadbrim with a conceit that his companion was in reality out of his senses. Instead of resenting the affront, therefore, the Quaker was moved with compassion for his unhappy circumstances; and having communicated his opinion to the landlord, he desired him to take great care of his guest, and to treat him with the highest civility.

"Indeed," says the landlord, "I shall use no such civility towards him: for it seems, for all his laced waistcoat there, he is no more a gentleman than myself; but a poor parish bastard bred up at a great squire's about thirty miles off, and now turned out of doors, (not for any good to be sure.) I shall get him out of my house as soon as possible. If I do lose my reckoning, the first loss is always the best. It is not above a year ago that I lost a silver spoon."

"What dost thou talk of a parish bastard, Robin?" answered the Quaker. "Thou must certainly be mistaken in thy man."

"Not at all," replied Robin, "the guide, who knows him very well, told it me." For, indeed, the guide had no sooner taken his place at the kitchen fire, than he acquainted the whole company with all he knew, or had ever heard, concerning Jones.

The Quaker was no sooner assured by this fellow of the birth and low fortune of Jones, than all compassion for him vanished; and the honest plain man went home fired with no less indignation than a duke would have felt at receiving an affront from such a person.

The landlord himself conceived an equal disdain for his guest: so that when Jones rung the bell in order to retire to bed, he was acquainted that he could have no bed there.-Besides disdain of the mean condition of his guest, Robert entertained violent suspicion of his intentions, which were, he supposed, to watch some favourable opportunity of robbing the house. In reality, he might have been very well eased of these apprehensions by the prudent precautions of his wife and daughter, who had already removed every thing that was not fixed to the freehold ; but he was by nature suspicious, and had been more particularly so since the loss of his spoon. In short, the dread of being robbed totally absorbed the comfortable consideration that he had nothing to lose.

Jones being assured that he could have no bed, very contentedly betook himself to a great chair made with rushes; when sleep, which had lately shunned his company in much better apartments, generously paid him a visit in his humble cell.

As for the landlord, he was prevented by his

fears from retiring to rest. He returned therefore to the kitchen fire, whence he could survey the only door which opened into the parlour, or rather hole, where Jones was seated; and as for the window to that room, it was impossible for any creature larger than a cat to have made his escape through it.

CHAP. XI.

The adventure of a Company of Soldiers.

THE landlord having taken his seat directly opposite to the door of the parlour, determined to keep guard there the whole night. The guide and another fellow remained long on duty with him, though they neither knew his suspicions, nor had any of their own. The true cause of their watching did, indeed, at length put an end to it; for this was no other than the strength and goodness of the beer, of which having tippled a very large quantity, they grew at first very noisy and vociferous, and afterwards fell both asleep.

But it was not in the power of liquor to compose the fears of Robin. He continued still waking in his chair, with his eyes fixed stedfastly on the door which led into the apartment of Mr Jones, till a violent thundering at his outward gate called him from his seat, and obliged him to open it; which he had no sooner done, than his kitchen was immediately full of gentlemen in red coats, who all rushed upon him, in as tumultuous a manner as if they intended to take his little castle by storm.

The landlord was now forced from his post to furnish his numerous guests with beer, which they called for with great eagerness; and upon his second or third return from the cellar, he saw Mr Jones standing before the fire in the midst of the soldiers; for it may easily be believed, that the arrival of so much good company should put an end to any sleep, unless that from which we are to be awakened only by the last trumpet.

The company having now pretty well satisfied their thirst, nothing remained but to pay the reckoning, a circumstance often productive of much mischief and discontent among the inferior rank of gentry; who are apt to find great difficulty in assessing the sum, with exact regard to distributive justice, which directs that every man shall pay according to the quantity he drinks. This difficulty occurred upon the present occasion; and it was the greater, as some gentlemen had, in their extreme hurry, marched off, after their first draught, and had entirely forgot to contribute any thing towards the said reckon ing.

A violent dispute now arose, in which every word may be said to have been deposed upon oath; for the oaths were at least equal to all the other

words spoken. In this controversy the whole company spoke together, and every man seemed wholly bent to extenuate the sum which fell to his share; so that the most probable conclusion which could be foreseen was, that a large portion of the reckoning would fall to the landlord's share to pay, or (what is much the same thing) would remain unpaid.

All this while Mr Jones was engaged in conversation with the serjeant; for that officer was entirely unconcerned in the present dispute, being privileged, by immemorial custom, from all contribution.

The dispute now grew so very warm, that it seemed to draw towards a military decision, when Jones stepping forward, silenced all their clamours at once, by declaring that he would pay the whole reckoning, which indeed amounted to no more than three shillings and fourpence.

This declaration procured Jones the thanks and applause of the whole company. The terms honourable, noble, and worthy gentleman, resounded through the room; nay, my landlord himself began to have a better opinion of him, and almost to disbelieve the account which the guide had given.

The serjeant had informed Mr Jones, that they were marching against the rebels, and expected to be commanded by the glorious Duke of Cumberland. By which the reader may perceive (a circumstance which we have not thought necessary to communicate before) that this was the very time when the late rebellion was at the highest; and indeed the banditti were now marched into England, intending, as it was thought, to fight the king's forces, and to attempt pushing forward to the metropolis.

Jones had some heroic ingredients in his composition, and was a hearty well-wisher to the glorious cause of liberty, and of the protestant religion. It is no wonder, therefore, that in circumstances which would have warranted a much more romantic and wild undertaking, it should occur to him to serve as a volunteer in this expedition.

Our commanding officer had said all in his power to encourage and promote this good disposition, from the first moment he had been acquainted with it. He now proclaimed the noble resolution aloud, which was received with great pleasure by the whole company, who all cried out, "God bless King George, and your honour;" and then added with many oaths, "We will stand by you both to the last drops of our blood."

The gentleman, who had been all night tippling at the alehouse, was prevailed on by some arguments which a corporal had put in his hand, to undertake the same expedition. And now the portmanteau belonging to Mr Jones being put up into the baggage-cart, the forces were about to move forwards; when the guide, stepping up to Jones, said, "Sir, I hope you will consider

that the horses have been kept out all night, and we have travelled a great ways out of our way." Jones was surprised at the impudence of this demand, and acquainted the soldiers with the merits of his cause, who were all unanimous in condemning the guide for his endeavours to put upon a gentleman. Some said he ought to be tied neck and heels; others, that he deserved to run the gantlope; and the serjeant shook his cane at him, and wished he had him under his command, swearing heartily he would make an example of him.

Jones contented himself, however, with a negative punishment, and walked off with his new comrades, leaving the guide to the poor revenge of cursing and reviling him, in which latter the landlord joined, saying, “Ay, ay, he is a pure one, I warrant you. A pretty gentleman, indeed, to go for a soldier. He shall wear a laced waistcoat truly. It is an old proverb and a true one, all is not gold that glisters. I am glad my house is well rid of him."

All that day the serjeant and the young soldier marched together; and the former, who was an arch fellow, told the latter many entertaining stories of his campaigns, though in reality he had never made any; for he was but lately come into the service, and had, by his own dexterity, so well ingratiated himself with his officers, that he had promoted himself to a halberd chiefly indeed by his merit in recruiting, in which he was most excellently well skilled.

Much mirth and festivity passed among the soldiers during their march ; in which the many occurrences that had passed at their last quarters were remembered, and every one, with great freedom, made what jokes he pleased on his officers, some of which were of the coarser kind, and very near bordering on scandal. This brought to our hero's mind the custom which he had read of among the Greeks and Romans, of indulging, on certain festivals and solemn occasions, the liberty to slaves, of using an uncontrouled freedom of speech towards their masters. Our little army, which consisted of two companies of foot, were now arrived at the place where they were to halt that evening. The serjeant then acquainted his lieutenant, who was the commanding officer, that they had picked up two fellows in that day's march; one of which, he said, was as fine a man as ever he saw, (meaning the tippler) for that he was near six feet, well proportioned, and strongly limbed; and the other (meaning Jones) would do well enough for the rear rank.

The new soldiers were now produced before the officer, who having examined the six-foot man, he being first produced, came next to survey Jones: at the first sight of whom, the lieutenant could not help shewing some surprise; for, besides that he was very well dressed, and was naturally genteel, he had a remarkable air

of dignity in his look, which is rarely seen among the vulgar, and is indeed not inseparably annexed to the features of their superiors.

"Sir," said the lieutenant, "my serjeant informed me, that you are desirous of enlisting into the company I have at present under my command; if so, sir, we shall very gladly receive a gentleman who promises to do much honour to the company, by bearing arms in it.”

Jones answered, that he had not mentioned any thing of enlisting himself; that he was most zealously attached to the glorious cause for which they were going to fight, and was very desirous of serving as a volunteer; concluding with some compliments to the lieutenant, and expressing the great satisfaction he should have in being under his command.

The lieutenant returned his civility, commended his resolution, shook him by the hand, and invited him to dine with himself and the rest of the officers.

CHAP. XII.

The adventure of a Company of Officers.

THE lieutenant, whom we mentioned in the preceding chapter, and who commanded this party, was now near sixty years of age. He had entered very young into the army, and had served in the capacity of an ensign in the battle of Tannieres; here he had received two wounds, and had so well distinguished himself, that he was, by the Duke of Marlborough, advanced to be a lieutenant, immediately after that battle.

In this commission he had continued ever since, viz. near forty years; during which time he had seen vast numbers preferred over his head, and had now the mortification to be commanded by boys, whose fathers were at nurse when he first entered into the service.

Nor was this ill success in his profession solely owing to his having no friends among the men in power. He had the misfortune to incur the displeasure of his colonel, who, for many years, continued in the command of this regiment. Nor did he owe the implacable ill-will which this man bore him, to any neglect or deficiency as an officer, nor indeed to any fault in himself, but solely to the indiscretion of his wife, who was a very beautiful woman, and who, though she was remarkably fond of her husband, would not purchase his preferment at the expence of certain favours which the colonel required of her.

The poor lieutenant was more peculiarly unhappy in this, that while he felt the effects of the enmity of his colonel, he neither knew, nor suspected, that he really bore him any; for he could not suspect an ill-will for which he was not conscious of giving any cause; and his wife, fearing what her husband's nice regard to his ho

nour might have occasioned, contented herself with preserving her virtue, without enjoying the triumphs of her conquest.

This unfortunate officer (for so, I think, he may be called,) had many good qualities, besides his merit in his profession; for he was a religious, honest, good-natured man; and had behaved so well in his command, that he was highly esteemed and beloved, not only by the soldiers of his own company, but by the whole regiment.

The other officers who marched with him were a French lieutenant, who had been long enough out of France to forget his own language, but not long enough in England to learn ours, so that he really spoke no language at all, and could barely make himself understood on the most ordinary occasions. There were likewise two ensigns, both very young fellows; one of whom had been bred under an attorney, and the other was son to the wife of a nobleman's butler.

As soon as dinner was ended, Jones informed the company of the merriment which had passed among the soldiers upon their march; "And yet," says he," notwithstanding all their vociferation, I dare swear they will behave more like Grecians than Trojans when they come to the enemy."-" Grecians and Trojans !" says one of the ensigns," who the devil are they? I have heard of all the troops in Europe, but never of any such as these."

"Don't pretend to more ignorance than you have, Mr Northerton," said the worthy lieutenant;"I suppose you have heard of the Greeks and Trojans, though perhaps you never read Pope's Homer; who, I remember, now the gentleman mentions it, compares the march of the Trojans to the cackling of geese, and greatly commends the silence of the Grecians. And, upon my honour, there is great justice in the cadet's observation."

"Begar, me remember dem very well," said the French lieutenant, " me have read them at school in dans Madam Daciere, des Greek, des Trojan, dey fight for von woman,-ouy, ouy, me ave read all dat."

"D-n Homo, with all my heart," says Northerton, "I have the marks of him in my a-yet. There's Thomas of our regiment always carries a Homo in his pocket: d-n me if ever I come at it, if I don't burn it. And there's Corderius, another d-n'd son of a whore that hath got me many a flogging."

"Then you have been at school, Mr Northerton?" said the lieutenant.

"Ay, d-n me, have I," answered he, "the devil take my father for sending me thither. The old put wanted to make a parson of me, but d-n me, thinks I to myself, I'll nick you there, old cull: the devil a smack of your nonsense shall you ever get into me. There's Jemmy Oliver of our regiment, he narrowly escaped being a pimp too, and that would have been a thousand pities: for d-n me if he is not one of the prettiest fel

lows in the whole world; but he went farther than I with the old cull, for Jemmy can neither write nor read."

"You give your friend a very good character," said the lieutenant," and a very deserved one, I dare say: but prithee, Northerton, leave off that foolish as well as wicked custom of swearing; for you are deceived, I promise you, if you think there is wit or politeness in it. I wish too, you would take my advice, and desist from abusing the clergy. Scandalous names and reflections, cast on any body of men, must be always unjustifiable; but especially so when thrown on so sacred a function: for to abuse the body is to abuse the function itself; and I leave you to judge how inconsistent such behaviour is in men who are going to fight in defence of the Protestant religion."

Mr Adderly, which was the name of the other ensign, had sat hitherto kicking his heels and humming a tune, without seeming to listen to the discourse; he now answered, "O monsieur, on ne parle pas de la religion dans la guerre."— "Well said, Jack," cries Northerton," if la religion was the only matter, the parsons should fight their own battles for me.'

"I don't know, gentlemen," says Jones, "what may be your opinion; but I think no man can engage in a nobler cause than that of his religion; and I have observed in the little I have read of history, that no soldiers have fought so bravely as those who have been inspired with a religious zeal. For my own part, though I love my king and country, I hope, as well as any man in it, yet the Protestant interest is no small motive to my becoming a volunteer in the cause."

Northerton now winked on Adderly, and whispered to him slily, " Smoke the prig, Adderly, smoke him." Then turning to Jones, said to him, "I am very glad, sir, you have chosen our regiment to be a volunteer in: for if our parson should at any time take a cup too much, I find you can supply his place. I presume, sir, you have been at the university; may I crave the favour to know what college?"

66

Sir," ," answered Jones," so far from having been at the university, I have even had the advantage of yourself; for I was never at school."

"I presumed," cries the ensign, "only upon the information of your great learning.”—“Oh, sir!" answered Jones, "it is as possible for a man to know something without having been at school, as it is to have been at school and to know nothing."

"Well said, young volunteer," cries the lieutenant: " upon my word, Northerton, you had better let him alone; for he will be too hard for you."

Northerton did not very well relish the sarcasms of Jones; but he thought the provocation was scarce sufficient to justify a blow, or a rascal, or scoundrel, which were the only repartees that suggested themselves. He was, therefore,

silent at present; but resolved to take the first opportunity of returning the jest by abuse.

It now came to the turn of Mr Jones to give a toast, as it is called; who could not refrain from mentioning his dear Sophia. This he did the more readily, as he imagined it utterly impossible that any one present should guess the person

he meant.

But the lieutenant, who was the toast-master, was not contented with Sophia only. He said he must have her sirname; upon which Jones hesitated a little, and presently after named Miss Sophia Western. Ensign Northerton declared he would not drink her health in the same round with his own toast, unless somebody would vouch for her. "I knew one Sophy Western," says he, "that was lain with by half the young fellows at Bath; and, perhaps, this is the same woman.' Jones very solemnly assured him of the contrary; asserting that the young lady he named was one of great fashion and fortune. "Ay, ay," says the ensign," and so she is; d-n me, it is the same woman; and I'll hold half a dozen of Burgundy, Tom French of our regiment brings her into company with us at any tavern in Bridge's street." He then proceeded to describe her person exactly, (for he had seen her with her aunt,) and concluded with saying, that her father had a great estate in Somersetshire.▾

The tenderness of lovers can ill brook the least jesting with the names of their mistresses. However, Jones, though he had enough of the lover and of the hero too in his disposition, did not resent these slanders as hastily as, perhaps, he ought to have done. To say the truth, having seen but little of this kind of wit, he did not readily understand it, and for a long time imagined Mr Northerton had really mistaken his charmer for some other. But now, turning to the ensign with a stern aspect, he said, " Pray, sir, chuse some other subject for your wit: for I promise -you I will bear no jesting with this lady's character."-" Jesting?" cries the other, “ d―n me if ever I was more in earnest in my life. Tom French of our regiment had both her and her aunt at Bath."-"Then I must tell you in earnest," cries Jones, "that you are one of the most impudent rascals on earth."

He had no sooner spoken these words than the ensign, together with a volley of curses, discharged a bottle full at the head of Jones, which, hitting him a little above the right temple, brought him instantly to the ground.

The conqueror perceiving the enemy to lie motionless before him, and blood beginning to flow pretty plentifully from the wound, began now to think of quitting the field of battle, where no more honour was to be gotten; but the lieutenant interposed, by stepping before the door, and thus cut off his retreat.

Northerton was very importunate with the lieutenant for his liberty, urging the ill consequences of his stay, asking him what he could

have done less?" Zounds!" says he, "I was but in jest with the fellow. I never heard any harm of Miss Western in my life."-" Have not you?" said the lieutenant," then you richly deserve to be hanged, as well for making such jests, as for using such a weapon. You are my prisoner, sir; nor shall you stir from hence till a proper guard comes to secure you." Such an ascendant had our lieutenant over this ensign, that all that fervency of courage which had levelled our poor hero with the floor, would scarce have animated the said ensign to have drawn his sword against the lieutenant, had he then had one dangling at his side; but all the swords being hung up in the room, were, at the very beginning of the fray, secured by the French officer. So that Mr Northerton was obliged to attend the final issue of this affair.

The French gentleman and Mr Adderly, at the desire of their commanding officer, had raised up the body of Jones; but as they could perceive but little (if any) sign of life in him, they again let him fall; Adderly damning him for having blooded his waistcoat, and the Frenchman declaring, "Begar me no tush de Engliseman, de mort; me ave heard de Englise lay, law, what you call, hang up de man dat tush him last."

When the good lieutenant applied himself to the door, he applied himself likewise to the bell; and the drawer immediately attending, he dispatched him for a file of musketeers and a surgeon. These commands, together with the drawer's report of what he had himself seen, not only produced the soldiers, but presently drew up the landlord of the house, his wife and servants, and, indeed, every one else who happened, at that time, to be in the inn.

To describe every particular, and to relate the whole conversation of the ensuing scene, is not within my power, unless I had forty pens, and could, at once, write with them altogether, as the company now spoke. The reader must, therefore, content himself with the most remarkable incidents, and perhaps he may very well excuse the rest.

The first thing done was securing the body of Northerton, who being delivered into the custody of six men with a corporal at their head, was by them conducted from a place which he was very willing to leave, but it was unluckily to a place whither he was very unwilling to go. To say the truth, so whimsical are the desires of ambition, the very moment this youth had attained the above-mentioned honour, he would have been well contented to have retired to some corner of the world, where the fame of it should never have reached his ears.

It surprises us, and so, perhaps, it may the reader, that the lieutenant, a worthy and good man, should have applied his chief care rather to secure the offender than to preserve the life of the wounded person. We mention this observa