Do you find the world merry, linnet, linnet,
That your song rings out so gay?
I am old! I don't trust anything in it;
I'm seven times ten to-day!

MOTHER HUBBARD AND HER DOG.

The aged and venerable maternal representative of a family which descended from an ancestral progenitor known in his time by the patronymic appellation of Hubbard (perhaps from his having been one of the early poets or bards of the Hub),

Wended her way to the small apartment ordinarily devoted to the storage of crockery and such portions of the family provisions as were left unused at the prandial meal,

To obtain, for the gratification of her favorite but emaciated specimen of the genus canis a fragment of an ossequs nature once composing an integral portion of the skeleton of an animal (whether bovine, porcine or otherwise, the narrator was not able to determine satisfactorily), from which she had reason to believe her petted quadruped would obtain aliment.

When by continuous progressive motion she had arrived at the end of her brief journey, and in fact had reached the objective point and the goal of her desire,

Her fond anticipations were not realized and her calculations came to naught for the family receptacle before alluded to proved to be entirely denuded of everything in the way of that substance which tends to prolong life when received within and assimilated by the animal organism;

Consequently this indigent and long suffering member of the higher

class of vertebrates called mammals, but familiarly known as the "poor dog," failed on this occasion to obtain anything to appease his unsated and voracious appetite, which there is reason to believe had previously been whetted by the anticipation of the favorable result of the visit of his friend and protector to the usual storehouse of his supplies.

WHAT IS A BACHELOR LIKE?

What is a bachelor like?

A man without a home and wife.
Why, a pump without a handle,
A mouldy tallow candle!
A goose that's lost his fellows,
A useless pair of bellows,
A horse without a saddle,
A boat without a paddle;
A mule-a fool!
A two-legged stool!
A pest-a jest!
Dreary-weary-
Contrary unchary-
A fish without a tail,
A ship without a sail,
A legless pair of tongs,
A fork without its prongs,
A clock without a face-
A pig that's out of place!
A bootless leg-an addled egg!
A stupid flat-a crownless hat;
A pair of breeches wanting stitches;
A chattering ape-coat minus cape!
A quacking duck-wanting pluck;
A gabbling goose—mad dog let loose!
A boot without a sole,

Or a cracked and leaky bowl,
Or a fiddle without a string,
Or a bee without its sting,

Or a bat—or a sprat,

Or a cat-or a hen,

Or a rat-or a wren,

Or a gnat-or a pig in a pen!
Or a thrush that will not sing,
Or a bell that will not ring!
Or a penny that "won't go!"

Or a herring without salt!
Or a monkey-or a donkey!
Or a surly dog tied to a log!
Or a frog in a bog!
Or a fly in a mug!

Or a bug in a rug!

Or a bee or a flea

Or a last year's pea-
Or a figure 3!

Like a bell without a tongue,
Like a barrel without a bung,
Like a whale-like a snail-
Like an owl-like a fowl-
Like a priest without his cowl!
Like a midnight ghoul!

Like a gnome in his cell

Like a clapperless bell

Like a man down a well!

He's a poor forsaken gander,

Choosing lonely thus to wander!

He's like a walking stick, or satchel, or—

But to be plain,

And end my strain,

He's like naught but-a bachelor!

PAT'S PHILOSOPHY.

R. H. STODDARD.

When the winter is cold
I keep meself warm;
When the summer is hot

I keep meself cool.

It's mebbe I'm bold,

And it's mebbe I'm not;

But a gossoon's a fool

When he goes into harm!

Sez my old Uncle Dan

A wise one and stiddy-
"What's the world to a man
When his wife is a widdy?"

When the soldier struts by
With his sword at his side,
And the rattle, rattle drums
Beat the roll and the call,
He may go or may fly-

I stay here till death comes,
For I mind me of all

That in battle have died!

I am like Uncle Dan,

For he said-troth and did he→→

"What's the world to a man

When his wife is a widdy?"

When the sailor hoists sail

And stands out on the deep,
Laving sweetheart or wife
And the childer behind,

He timpts the wild gale,

And he trifles with life,
And he sinks, d'ye mind,

Where the mermaidens sleep!

"Pat," sez Uncle Dan,

"Stay at home with your Biddy;

What's the world to a man

When his wife is a widdy?"

Let the scholar sit up

And write late and long,

To insure him a name

He may sit up for me;

Give me but a full cup,

He may have all his fame,

For it's stuff, d'ye see,

And not worth an old song!

Let us live, Uncle Dan;

Let us live and love, Biddy;
What's the world to a man

When his wife is a widdy?"

LOVE SONG

[WRITTEN BY AN INMATE OF A LUNATIC ASYLUM.]

Gaily the tiger-cat tuned his guitar,

Serenading the magpie with feathers and tar;
Sweetly he sneezed at her, sourly he sighed,
"Lady bird, lady bird, wilt be my bride?"
She for the elephant sadly had pined,

Ate but an ox, and then vowed she hadn't dined;
Carried a photograph close to her heart,
Wrapped up in lobsters, bank notes and plum tart.
At midnight the rivals met in the whale,
And fought by the light of the grasshopper's tail;
The elephant stood on its trunk to take breath,
And the tiger-cat cosily hugged him to death;
Then with a cabbage stalk boldly he wrote:
"Come, love, and tread on the tail of my coat;
See thine own crocodile whistling for thee."
He groaned-gave a gurgle—a cold corpse was he!

BIDDY'S PHILOSOPHY.

R. H. STODDARD.

What would I do if you was dead?
And when do you think of dying?
I'd stand by your bed and hold your head,
And cry, or pretind to be crying!
There's many a worser man nor you-

If one knew where to find him

And mebbe many a better, too,

With money to leave behind him!