son;

for he was never married to his mother; but his son he certainly is, and will be his heir too as certainly as his name is Jones." At that word, Abigail let drop the bacon, which she was conveying to her mouth, and cried out, "You surprize me, sir. Is it possible Mr. Jones should be now in the house?" "Quare non?" answered Partridge, "it is possible, and it is certain.

Abigail now made haste to finish the remainder of her meal, and then repaired back to her mistress, when the conversation passed, which may be read in the next chapter.

CHAP. V.

Shewing who the amiable lady, and her unamiable
maid, were.

AS

S in the month of June, the damask rose, which chance hath planted among the lillies with their candid hue mixes his vermilion: or, as some playsome heifer in the pleasant month of May diffuses her odoriferous breath over the flowery meadows: or, as, in the blooming month of April, the gentle, constant dove, perched on some fair bough, sits meditating her mate; so looking a hundred charms and breathing as many sweets, her thoughts being fixed on her Tommy, with a heart as good and innocent, as her face was beautiful: Sophia (for it was she herself) lay reclining her lovely head on her hand, when her maid entered the room, and running directly to the bed, cried, "Madam-madam-who doth your ladyship think is in the house?" Sophia starting up, cried, "I hope my father hath not overtaken us." "No, madam, it is one worth a hundred fathers; Mr. Jones himself is here at this very instant." "Mr. Jones!" says

Sophia, "it is impossible, I cannot be so fortunate." Her maid averred the fact, and was presently detached by her mistress to order him to be called; for she said she was resolved to see him immediately.

Mrs. Honour had no sooner left the kitchen in the manner we have before seen, than the landlady fell severely upon her. The poor woman had indeed been loading her heart with foul language for some time, and now it scoured out of her mouth, as filth doth from a mud-cart, when the board which confines it is removed. Partridge likewise shovelled in his share of calumny; and (what may surprize the reader) not only bespattered the maid, but attempted to sully the lilly-white character of Sophia herself. "Never a barrel the better herring,' cries he. “Noscitur a socio, is a true saying. It must be confessed indeed that the lady in the fine garments is the civiller of the two; but I warrant neither of them are a bit better than they should be. A couple of Bath trulls, I'll answer for them; your quality don't ride about at this time o' night without servants." "Shodlikins, and that's true," cries the landlady, "you have certainly hit upon the very matter; for quality don't come into a house without bespeaking a supper, whether they eat any or no."

While they were thus discoursing, Mrs. Honour returned, and discharged her commission, by bidding the landlady immediately wake Mr. Jones, and tell him a lady wanted to speak with him. The landlady referred her to Partridge, saying, "He was the squire's friend; but, for her part, she never called men folks, especially gentlemen, and then walked sullenly out of the kitchen. Honour applied herself to Partridge; but he refused; "For my friend," cries he, "went to bed very late, and

he would be very angry to be disturbed so soon." Mrs. Honour insisted still to have him called, saying, “she was sure, instead of being angry, that he would be to the highest degree delighted when he knew the occasion." "Another time, perhaps, he might," cried Partridge; "but non omnia possumus omnes. One woman is enough at once for a reasonable man." "What do you mean by one woman, fellow?" cries Honour. "None of your fellow," answered Partridge. He then proceeded to inform her plainly, that Jones was in bed with a wench, and made use of an expression too indelicate to be here inserted; which so enraged Mrs. Honour, that she called him Jackanapes, and returned in a violent hurry to her mistress, whom she acquainted with the success of her errand, and with the account she had received; which, if possible, she exaggerated, being as angry with Jones, as if he had pronounced all the words that came from the mouth of Partridge. She discharged a torrent of abuse on the master, and advised her mistress to quit all thoughts of a man who had never shewn himself deserving of her. She then ripped up the story of Molly Seagrim, and gave the most malicious turn to his formerly quitting Sophia herself; which, I must confess, the present incident not a little countenanced.

The spirits of Sophia were too much dissipated by concern to enable her to stop the torrent of her maid. At last, however, she interrupted her, saying, "I never can believe this; some villain hath belied him. You say you had it from his friend; but surely it is not the office of a friend to betray such secrets." "I suppose," cries Honour, “the fellow is his pimp; for I never saw so ill-looked a villain. Besides, such profligate rakes as Mr. Jones are never ashamed of these matters.'

To say the truth, this behaviour of Partridge was a little inexcusable; but he had not slept off the effect of the dose which he swallowed the evening before; which had, in the morning, received the addition of above a pint of wine, or indeed rather of malt spirits; for the perry was by no means pure. Now that part of his head which nature designed for the reservoir of drink being very shallow, a small quantity of liquor overflowed it, and opened the sluices of his heart; so that all the secrets there deposited run out. These sluices were indeed naturally very ill secured. To give the best natured turn we can to his disposition, he was a very honest man; for as he was the most inquisitive of mortals, and eternally prying into the secrets of others, so he very faithfully paid them by communicating, in return, every thing within his knowledge.

While Sophia, tormented with anxiety, knew not what to believe, nor what resolution to take, Susan arrived with the sack-whey. Mrs. Honour immediately advised her mistress, in a whisper, to pump this wench, who probably could inform her of the truth. Sophia approved it, and began as follows: "Come hither, child, now answer me truly what I am going to ask you, and I promise you I will very well reward you. Is there a young gentleman in this house, a handsome young gentleman that " here Sophia blushed and was confounded“A young gentleman," cries Honour, "that came hither in company with that saucy rascal who is now in the kitchen?" Susan answered, "There was."-"Do you know any thing of any lady?" continues Sophia, "any lady? I don't ask you whether she is handsome or no; perhaps she is not, that's nothing to the purpose; but do you know of any lady?" "La, madam," cries Honour,

"you will make a very bad examiner. Harkee, child," says she, "is not that very young gentleman now in bed with some nasty trull or other?" Here Susan smiled, and was silent. "Answer the question, child," says Sophia, "and here's a guinea for you." "A guinea! madam, cries Susan; "La, what's a guinea? If my mistress should know it, I shall certainly lose my place that very instant.” "Here's another for you," says Sophia, "and I promise you faithfully your mistress shall never know it." Susan, after a very short hesitation, took the money, and told the whole story, concluding with saying, "If you have a great curiosity, madam, I can steal softly into his room, and see whether he be in his own bed or no. She accordingly did this by Sophia's desire, and returned with an answer in the negative.

Sophia now trembled and turned pale. Mrs. Honour begged her to be comforted, and not to think any more of so worthless a fellow. "Why there," says Susan, "I hope, madam, your ladyship won't be offended; but pray, madam, is not your ladyship's name Madame Sophia Western?" "How is it possible you should know me?" answered Sophia. "Why that man that the gentlewoman spoke of, who is in the kitchen, told about you last night. But I hope your ladyship is not angry with me." "Indeed, child," said she, "I am not; pray tell me all, and I promise you I'll reward you." "Why, madam," continued Susan, "that man told us all in the kitchen, that Madam Sophia Western-Indeed I don't know how to bring it out."-Here she stopt, till having received encouragement from Sophia, and being vehemently pressed by Mrs. Honour, she proceeded thus :-"He told us, madam, tho' to be sure it is all a lie, that your ladyship was dying for love of the young squire, and that