sure was want of dexterity. As to virtue, goodness, and such like, they were the objects of mirth and derision, and all Newgate was a complete collection of prigs, every man being desirous to pick his neighbour's pocket, and every one was as sensible that his neighbour was as ready to pick his; so that (which is almost incredible,) as great roguery was daily committed within the walls of Newgate as without. The glory resulting from these actions of Wild, probably animated the envy of his enemies against him. The day of his trial now approached, for which, as Socrates did, he prepared himself; but not weakly and foolishly, like that philosopher, with patience and resignation, but with a good number of false witnesses. However, as success is not always proportioned to the wisdom of him who endeavours to attain it, so we are more sorry than ashamed to relate, that our hero was, notwithstanding his utmost caution and prudence, convicted, and sentenced to a death which, when we consider not only the great men who have suffered it, but the much larger number of those whose highest honour it hath been to merit it, we cannot call it otherwise than honourable. Indeed those who have unluckily missed it, seem all their days to have laboured in vain to attain an end which fortune, for reasons only known to herself, hath thought proper to deny them. Without any farther preface, then, our hero was sentenced to be hanged by the neck; but whatever was to be now his fate, he might console himself that he had perpetrated what 66 nec judicis ira, nec ignis, Nec poterat ferrum, nec edax abolere vetustas." For my own part, I confess I look on this death of hanging to be as proper for a hero as any other; and I solemnly declare, that had Alexander the Great been hanged, it would not in the least have diminished my respect to his memory. Provided a hero, in his life, doth but execute a sufficient quantity of mischief; provided he be but well and heartily cursed by the widow, the orphan, the poor, and the oppressed, (the sole rewards, as many authors have bitterly lamented, both in prose and verse, of greatness, i. e. priggism,) I think it avails little of what nature his death be, whether it be by the axe, the halter, or the sword. Such names will be always sure of living to posterity, and of enjoying that fame which they so gloriously and eagerly coveted; for, according to a GREAT dramatic poet, Fame Not more survives from good than evil deeds: Th' aspiring youth that fir'd th' Ephesian dome, Outlives in fame the pious fool who rais'd it.” Our hero now suspected that the malice of his enemies would overpower him. He, therefore, betook himself to that true support of greatness in affliction, a bottle; by means of which he was enabled to curse, and swear, and bully, and brave his fate. Other comfort, indeed, he had not much, for not a single friend ever came near him. His wife, whose trial was deferred to the next sessions, visited him but once, when she plagued, tormented, and upbraided him so cruelly, that he forbade the keeper ever to admit her again. The Ordinary of Newgate had frequent conferences with him ; and greatly would it embellish our history, could we record all which that good man delivered on these occasions; but unhappily we could procure only the substance of a single conference, which was taken down in short-hand by one who overheard it. We shall transcribe it, therefore, exactly in the same form and words we received it; nor can we help regarding it as one of the most curious pieces which either ancient or modern history hath recorded. CHAP. XIII. A dialogue between the Ordinary of Newgate and Mr Jonathan Wild the Great; in which the subjects of death, immortality, and other grave matters, are very learnedly handled by the former. Ordinary. Good morrow to you, sir; I hope you rested well last night. Jonathan. D-n'd ill, sir. I dream'd so confoundedly of hanging, that it disturbed my sleep. Ordinary. Fy upon it! you should be more resigned. I wish you would make a little better use of those instructions which I have endeavoured to inculcate into you, and particularly last Sunday, and from these words:"Those who do evil shall go into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels." I undertook to shew you, first, what is meant by EVERLASTING FIRE; and, secondly, who were THE DEVIL AND HIS ANGELS. I then proceeded to draw some inferences from the whole,* in which I am mightily deceived if I did not convince you that you yourself was one of those ANGELS, and, consequently, must expect EVERLASTING FIRE to be your portion in the other world. Jonathan. Faith, doctor, I remember very little of your inferences; for I fell asleep soon He pronounced this word HULL, and perhaps would have spelt it so. after your naming your text. But did you preach this doctrine then, or do you repeat it now, in order to comfort me? Ordinury. I do it in order to bring you to a true sense of your manifold sins, and, by that means, to induce you to repentance. Indeed, had I the eloquence of Cicero, or of Tully, it would not be sufficient to describe the pains of hell, or the joys of heaven. The utmost that we are taught is, "That car hath not heard, nor can heart conceive." Who then would, for the pitiful consideration of the riches and pleasures of this world, forfeit such inestimable happiness! such joys! such pleasures! such delights! Or who would run the venture of such misery, which, but to think on, shocks the human understanding! Who, in his senses, then, would prefer the latter to the former? Jonathan. Ay, who indeed! I assure you, doctor, I had much rather be happy than miserable. But t 著 Ordinary. Nothing can be plainer. St Jonathan. once convinced no man sure the clergy better informed all manner of vice Ordinary. are If lives of * whereas opportunity * ari * oiled * * *cinian oasted * atheist hanged * dev * *ell fire *ternal da * * * Ordinary. Ay, all this is very true; but life is sweet for all that, and I had rather live to eternity, than go into the company of any such heathens, who are, I doubt not, in hell, with the devil and his angels; and, as little as you seem to apprehend it, you may find yourself there before you expect it. Where then will be your tauntings and your vauntings, your boastings and your braggings? You will then be ready to give more for a drop of water than you ever gave for a bottle of wine. Jonathan. Faith, doctor, well minded. What say you to a bottle of wine? Ordinary. I will drink no wine with an atheist. I should expect the devil to make a third in such company; for, since he knows you are his, he may be impatient to have his due. Jonathan. It is your business to drink with the wicked, in order to amend them. Ordinary. I despair of it; and so I consign you over to the devil, who is ready to receive you. Jonathan. You are more unmerciful to me than the judge, doctor. He recommended my soul to heaven, and it is your office to shew me the way thither. Ordinary. No; the gates are barred against all revilers of the clergy. Jonathan. I revile only the wicked ones, if any such are; which cannot affect you, who, if men were preferred in the church by merit only, would have long since been a bishop. In*deed, it might raise any good man's indignation to observe one of your vast learning and abilities obliged to exert them in so low a sphere, when so many of your inferiors wallow in wealth and preferment. deist burnt *his an * tion. Jonathan. You * to frighten me out of my wits: but the good * *is, I doubt not, more merciful than his wicked * If I should believe all you say, I am sure I shall die in inexpressible horror. Ordinary. Despair is sinful. You should place your hopes in repentance and grace; and though it is most true that you are in danger of the judgment, yet there is still room for mercy; and no man, unless excommunicated, is absolutely without hopes of a reprieve. Jonathan. I am not without hopes of a reprieve from the Cheat yet: I have pretty good interest; but if I cannot obtain it, you shall not frighten me out of my courage; I will not die like a pimp. D-n me, what is death? It is nothing but to be with Platos and with Cæsars, as the poet says, and all the other great heroes of antiquity. Ordinary. Why, it must be confessed that there are bad men in all orders; but you should not censure too generally. I must own, I might have expected higher promotion; but I have learned patience and resignation; and I would advise you to the same temper of mind, which if you can attain, I know you will find mercy; nay, I do now promise you you will. It is true, you are a sinner; but your crimes are not of the blackest dye: you are no murderer, nor guilty of sacrilege; and if you are guilty of theft, you make some atonement by suffering for it, which many others do not. Happy it is, indeed, for those few who are detected in their sins, and brought to exemplary punishment for them in this world. So far, therefore, from repining at your fate when you come to the tree, you should exult and rejoice in it; and, to say the truth, I question whether, to a wise man, the catastrophe of many of those who die by a halter, is not This part was so blotted that it was illegible. more to be envied than pitied. Nothing is so sinful as sin, and murder is the greatest of all sins; it follows, that whoever commits murder is happy in suffering for it: if, therefore, a man who commits murder is so happy in dying for it, how much better must it be for you, who have committed a less crime? Jonathan. All this is very true; but let us take a bottle of wine to chear our spirits. Ordinary. Why wine? Let me tell you, Mr Wild, there is nothing so deceitful as the spirits given us by wine. If you must drink, let us have a bowl of punch; a liquor I the rather prefer, as it is no where spoken against in Scripture, and as it is more wholesome for the gravel, a distemper with which I am grievously afflicted. Jonathan. [having called for a bowl. I ask your pardon, doctor, I should have remembered that punch was your favourite liquor. I think you never taste wine, while there is any punch remaining on the table. Ordinary. I confess I look on punch to be the more eligible liquor, as well for the reasons I have before mentioned, as likewise for one other cause, viz. it is the properest for a draught. I own I took it a little unkind of you to mention wine, thinking you knew my palate. Jonathan. You are in the right; and I will take a swinging cup to your being made a bishop. Ordinary. And I will wish you a reprieve in as large a draught. Come, don't despair: it is yet time enough to think of dying; you have good friends, who very probably may prevail for you. I have known many a man reprieved who had less reason to expect it. Jonathan. But if I should flatter myself with such hopes, and be deceived, what then would become of my soul? Ordinary. Pugh! never mind your soul; leave that to me: I will render a good account of it, I warrant you. I have a sermon in my pocket, which may be of some use to you to hear. I do not value myself on the talent of preaching, since no man ought to value himself for any gift in this world but perhaps there are not many such sermons. But, to proceed, since we have nothing else to do till the punch comes. My text is the latter part of a verse only: To the Greeks FOOLISHNESS. "The occasion of these words was, principally, that philosophy of the Greeks, which, at that time, had over-run great part of the Heathen world, had poisoned, and as it were puffed up their minds with pride, so that they disregarded all kinds of doctrine in comparison of their own; and however safe, and however sound the learning of others might be, yet if it anywise contradicted their own laws, customs, and received opinions, away with it, it is not for us: It was to the Greeks foolishness. "In the former part, therefore, of my discourse on these words, I shall principally confine my self to the laying open and demonstrating the great emptiness and vanity of this philosophy, with which these idle and absurd sophists were so proudly blown up and elevated. "And here I shall do two things: first, I shall expose the matter; and, secondly, the manner of this absurd philosophy. "And first, for the first of these, namely, the matter. Now here we may retort the unmannerly word which our adversaries have audaciously thrown in our faces: for what was all this mighty matter of philosophy, this heap of knowledge which was to bring such large harvests of honour to those who sowed it, and so greatly and nobly to enrich the ground on which it fell? what was it but FOOLISHNESS? an inconsistent heap of nonsense, of absurdities, and contradictions, bringing no ornament to the mind in its theory, nor exhibiting any usefulness to the body in its practice. What were all the sermons and the sayings, the fables and the morals of all these wise men, but, to use the words mentioned in my text once more, FOOLISHNESS? What was their great master, Plato, or their other great light, Aristotle? Both fools, mere quibblers and sophists, idly and vainly attached to certain ridiculous notions of their own, founded neither on truth nor on reason. Their whole works are a strange medley of the greatest falsehoods, scarce covered over with the colour of truth: their precepts are neither borrowed from nature, nor guided by reason: mere fictions, only to evince the dreadful height of human pride; in one word, FOOLISHNESS. It may be, perhaps, expected of me, that I should give some instances from their works to prove this charge; but as to transcribe every passage to my purpose would be to transcribe their whole works, and as in such a plentiful crop it is difficult to chuse; instead of trespassing on your patience, I shall conclude this first head with asserting what I have so fully proved, and what may, indeed, be inferred from the text, that the philosophy of the Greeks was FOOLISH NESS. "Proceed we now, in the second place, to consider the manner in which this inane and sim ple doctrine was propagated. And here"--But here the punch, by entering, waked Mr Wild, who was fast asleep, and put an end to the sermon; nor could we obtain any further account of the conversation which passed at this interview. CHAP. XIV. Wild proceeds to the highest consummation of human GREATNESS. THE day now drew nigh, when our great man was to exemplify the last and noblest act of greatness by which any hero can signalize himself: this was the day of execution, or consum mnation, or apotheosis, (for it is called by different names) which was to give our hero an opportunity of facing death and damnation without any fear in his heart, or at least without betraying any symptoms of it in his countenance; a completion of greatness which is heartily to be wished to every great man; nothing being more worthy of lamentation, than when Fortune, like a lazy poet, winds up her catastrophe awkwardly, and, bestowing too little care on her fifth act, dismisses the hero with a sneaking and private exit, who had, in the former part of the drama, performed such notable exploits, as must promise to every good judge among the spectators, a noble, public, and exalted end. But she was resolved to commit no such error in this instance. Our hero was too much and too deservedly her favourite, to be neglected by her in his last moments: accordingly, all efforts for a reprieve were vain, and the name of Wild stood at the head of those who were ordered for execution. From the time he gave over all hopes of life, his conduct was truly great and admirable. Instead of shewing any marks of dejection or contrition, he rather infused more confidence and assurance into his looks. He spent most of his hours in drinking with his friends, and with the good man above commemorated. In one of these compotations, being asked, Whether he was afraid to die? he answered, "D-n me, it is only a dance without music." Another time, when one expressed some sorrow for his misfortune, as he termed it, he said, with great fierceness, "A man can die but once." Again, when one of his intimate acquaintance hinted his hopes that he would die like a man, he cocked his hat in defiance, and cried out greatly, "Zounds! who's afraid?" Happy would it have been for posterity, could we have retrieved any entire conversation which passed at this season, especially between our hero and his learned comforter; but we have searched many pasteboard records in vain. brutality could have made the consideration of his shameful death, (so this weak woman called hanging,) which was now inevitable, to be borne even without madness. She then proceeded to a recapitulation of his faults, in an exacter order, and with more perfect memory than one would have imagined her capable of; and it is probable, would have rehearsed a complete catalogue, had not our hero's patience failed him, so that with the utmost fury and violence he caught her by the hair, and kicked her, as heartily as his chains would suffer him, out of the room. At length the morning came, which Fortune at his birth had resolutely ordained for the consummation of our hero's GREATNESS. He had himself indeed modestly declined the public honours she intended him, and had taken a quantity of laudanum, in order to retire quietly off the stage; but we have already observed, in the course of our wonderful history, that to struggle against this lady's decrees is vain and impotent; and whether she hath determined you shall be hanged or be a prime minister, it is in either case lost labour to resist. Laudanum, therefore, being unable to stop the breath of our hero, which the fruit of hemp seed, and not the spirit of poppy seed, was to overcome, he was at the usual hour attended by the proper gentlemen appointed for that purpose, and acquainted that the cart was ready. On this occasion he exerted that greatness of courage which hath been so much celebrated in other heroes; and knowing it was impossible to resist, he gravely declared he would attend them. He then descended to that room where the fetters of Great Men are knocked off, in a most solemn and ceremonious manner. Then shaking hands with his friends, (to wit, those who were conducting him to the tree,) and drinking their healths in a bumper of brandy, he ascended the cart, where he was no sooner seated, than he received the acclamations of the multitude, who were highly ravished with his GREATNESS. The cart now moved slowly on, being preceded by a troop of horse-guards, bearing javelins in their hands, through streets lined with crowds, all admiring the great behaviour of our hero, who rode on, sometimes sighing, sometimes swearing, sometimes singing or whistling, as his humour varied. On the eve of his apotheosis, Wild's lady desired to see him, to which he consented. This meeting was at first very tender on both sides; but it could not continue so: for unluckily some hints of former miscarriages intervening, as particularly when she asked him, how he could have used her so barbarously once, as calling her b-; and whether such language became a man, much less a gentleman; Wild flew into a violent passion, and swore she was the vilest of b-s, to upbraid him at such a season with an unguarded word spoke long ago. She replied, with many tears, She was well enough served for her folly, in visiting such a brute; but she had one comfort, however, that it would be the last time But though envy was, through fear, obliged he could ever treat her so; that indeed she had to join the general voice in applause on this ocsome obligation to him, for that his cruelty to her casion, there were not wanting some who mawould reconcile her to the fate he was to-mor-ligned this completion of glory, which was now row to suffer; and indeed, nothing but such about to be fulfilled to our hero, and endeavour When he came to the tree of glory, he was welcomed with an universal shout of the people, who were there assembled in prodigious numbers, to behold a sight much more rare in populous cities than one would reasonably imagine it should be, viz. the proper catastrophe of a Great Man. ed to prevent it, by knocking him on the head as he stood under the tree, while the Ordinary was performing his last office. They therefore began to batter the cart with stones, brick-bats, dirt, and all manner of mischievous weapons, some of which, erroneously playing on the robes of the ecclesiastic, made him so expeditious in his repetition, that with wonderful alacrity he had ended almost in an instant, and conveyed himself into a place of safety in a hackney-coach, where he waited the conclusion with the temper of iind described in these verses, Suave mari magno, turbantibus æquora ventis, E terra alterius magnum spectare laborem. We must not, however, omit one circumstance, as it serves to shew the most admirable conservation of character in our hero to his last moment, which was, that whilst the Ordinary was busy in his ejaculations, Wild, in the midst of the shower of stones, &c., which played upon him, applied his hands to the parson's pocket, and emptied it of his bottle screw, which he carried out of the world in his hand. The Ordinary being now descended from the cart, Wild had just opportunity to cast his eyes around the crowd, and to give them a hearty curse, when immediately the horses moved on, and with universal applause our hero swung out of this world. Thus fell Jonathan Wild the GREAT, by a death as glorious as his life had been, and which was so truly agreeable to it, that the latter must have been deplorably maimed and imperfect without the former; a death which hath been alone wanting to complete the characters of several ancient and modern heroes, whose histories would have been read with much greater pleasure by the wisest in all ages. Indeed, we could almost wish, that whenever Fortune seems wantonly to deviate from her purpose, and leaves her work imperfect in this particular, the historian would indulge himself in the licence of poetry and romance, and even do a violence to truth, to oblige his reader with a page which must be the most delightful in all his history, and which could never fail of producing an in structive moral. Narrow minds may possibly have some reason to be ashamed of going this way out of the world, if their consciences can fly in their faces, and assure them they have not merited such an honour; but he must be a fool who is ashamed of being hanged, who is not weak enough to be ashamed of having deserved it. CHAP. XV., those several features as it were of his mind, which lie scattered up and down in this history, to present our readers with a perfect picture of Greatness. Jonathan Wild had every qualification necessary to form a Great Man. As his most powerful and predominant passion was ambition, so Nature had, with consummate propriety, adapted all his faculties to the attaining those glorious ends to which this passion directed him. He was extremely ingenious in inventing designs, artful in contriving the means to accomplish his purposes, and resolute in executing them; for, as the most exquisite cunning, and most undaunted boldness, qualified him for any undertaking, so was he not restrained by any of those weaknesses which disappoint the views of mean and vulgar souls, and which are comprehended in one general term of honesty, which is a corruption of HONOSTY, a word derived from what the Greeks call an ass. He was entirely free from those low vices of modesty and good-nature which, as he said, implied a total negation of human greatness, and were the only qualities which absolutely rendered a man incapable of making a considerable figure in the world. His lust was inferior only to his ambition; but as for what simple people call love, he knew not what it was. His avarice was immense; but it was of the rapacious, not of the tenacious, kind; his rapaciousness was indeed so violent, that nothing ever contented him but the whole; for, however considerable the share was which his coadjutors allowed him of a booty, he was restless in inventing means to make himself master of the smallest pittance reserved by them. He said laws were made for the use of prigs only, and to secure their property; they were never therefore more perverted, than when their edge was turned against these, but that this generally happened through their want of sufficient dexterity. The character which he most valued himself upon, and which he principally honoured in others, was that of hypocrisy. His opinion was, that no one could carry priggism very far without it; for which reason, he said, there was little greatness to be expected in a man who acknowledged his vices; but always much to be hoped from him who professed great virtues; wherefore, though he would always shun the person whom he discovered guilty of a good action, yet he was never deterred by a good cha racter, which was more commonly the effect of profession than of action: for which reason, he himself was always very liberal of honest professions, and had as much virtue and goodness in his mouth as a saint; never in the least scrupling to swear by his honour, even to those who knew him the best; nay, though he held good The character of our Hero, and the Conclusion of nature and modesty in the highest contempt, he this History. WE will now endeavour to draw the character of this Great Man, and, by bringing together constantly practised the affectation of both, and recommended this to others, whose welfare, on his own account, he wished well to. He laid down several maxims, as the certain methods of |