And phansy with what joy The master did regard His dearly bluvd lost oss again Who was this master good Of whomb I makes these rhymes ? His name is Jacob Homnium, Exquire; And if I'd committed crimes, Good Lord! I wouldn't ave that mann Attack me in the Times ! Now, shortly after the groomb This gentleman to wake up; For two pound seventeen This livery-man eplied, For the keep of Mr. Jacob's oss, Which the thief had took to ride. "Do you see anythink green in me?" Mr. Jacob Homnium cried. "Because a raskle chews My oss away to robb, And goes tick at your Mews For seven-and-fifty bobb, Shall I be called to pay? It is A iniquitious Jobb." Thus Mr. Jacob cut The conwasation short; The livery-man went ome, Detummingd to ave sport, And summingsd Jacob Homnium, Exquire, Into the Pallis Court. Pore Jacob went to Court, A Counsel for to fix, And choose a barrister out of the four, An attorney of the six; And there he sor these men of Lor, And watched 'em at their tricks. The dreadful day of trile In the Pallis Court did come; The lawyers said their say, The Judge looked wery glum, And then the British Jury cast Pore Jacob Hom-ni-um. O, a weary day was that For Jacob to go through; The debt was two seventeen, (Which he no mor owed than you), And then there was the plaintives costs, Eleven pound six and two. And then there was his own, Which the lawyers they did fix At the wery moderit figgar Of ten pound one and six. I cannot settingly tell If Jacob swaw and cust, At aving for to pay this sumb, But I should think he must, And av drawn a cheque for £24 4s. 8d. With most igstreme disgust. O Pallis Court, you move A most emusing sport You thought it, I'll be bound, To saddle hup a three-pound debt, Good sport it is to you, To grind the honest pore; To pay their just or unjust debts With eight hundred per cent. for Lor; Make haste and git your costes in, They will not last much mor! Come down from that tribewn, Thou Shameless and Unjust; Thou Swindle, picking pockets in The name of Truth, august; Come down, thou hoary Blasphemy, For die thou shalt and must. And go it, Jacob Homnium, And shut me up that den; PLEACEMAN X. THE SPECULATORS. THE night was stormy and dark, The town was shut up in sleep: Only those were abroad who were out on a lark, Or those who'd no beds to keep. I pass'd through the lonely street, The wind did sing and blow; I could hear the policeman's feet Clapping to and fro. There stood a potato-man In the midst of all the wet; He stood with his 'tato-can In the lonely Haymarket. Two gents of dismal mien, Came out of a shop for gin, And dank and greasy rags, Swaggering over the flags: Swaggering over the stones, These shabby bucks did. walk; And I went and followed those seedy ones, And listened to their talk. |