CHAPTER II. ON CONNUBIAL HAPPINESS. AFTER marriage, a man generally takes his wife to his home, perhaps to the seat of his ancestors, where every object is endeared to him by local attachment and interesting remembrances. With pride and pleasure does he walk out with his fair bride, to exhibit to her the beauties of his domain and the scenes of his youth. "Look," says he, "at that noble view down the river; see that boat, how softly it glides, and that little temple on the hill, where on a fine evening I used to sit with my excellent mother, and say my tasks by her side: she was, in truth, my Emily, an excellent mother; several years have elapsed since I lost her, and yet I cannot think of her but with the strongest feelings of affection and regret." Endeavour, young wife, to enter into his feelings, and to admire, and to feel pleased with everything. In those bridal moments, your smiles and appro bation are delightful to him: and although alterations and improvements may occur to you, let him see it is for the sake of those improvements, not for the sake of finding fault, you point out the defect. Study your husband's temper and character; and be it your pride and pleasure to conform to his wishes. Check at once the first advances to contradiction, even of the most trivial nature. I repeat the word trivial, for it is really inconceivable the power which the veriest trifles have, at times, over the mind, either in irritating or pleasing. And the woman, who after a few gone by can say, "My husband and I have never yet had a loud or angry debate," is in my opinion better entitled to a chaplet of laurels, than the hero who has fought on the plains of Waterloo. years are "There is one simple direction, which, if carefully regarded, might long preserve the tranquillity of the married life, and ensure no inconsiderable portion of connubial happiness to the observers of it: it is, to beware of the FIRST dispute." An admired writer says, "Let it never be forgotten, that, during the whole of life, beauty must suffer no diminution from in elegance, but every charm must contribute to keep the heart which it has won. Whatever would have been concealed as a defect from the lover, must with greater diligence be concealed from the husband. The most intimate and tender familiarity cannot surely be supposed to exclude decorum; and there is naturally a delicacy in every mind, which is disgusted at the breach of it, though every mind is not sufficiently attentive to avoid at all times that mode of conduct which it has often itself found offensive. That unwearied solicitude to please, which was once the effect of choice, is now become a duty, and should be considered as a pleasure. "E'en in the happiest choice, where favouring Heaven Has equal love and easy fortune given, Think not, the husband gain'd, that all is done, When once you enter the matrimonial state, gentle lady, prepare for the various trials of temper which each day will produce. Your husband perhaps does, or says, something provoking; your servants do, or say, something provoking; - or some valuable article is injured by their negligence ;—a handsome piece of china or glass is broken; : -a tiresome visitor comes in at a most mal-à- -propos moment, and breaks in on some matter of consequence, &c. &c. But remember the great Solomon's words: "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city." (Prov. xvi. 32.) By the expression ruleth his spirit, the inspired writer's views on the subject are evidently wide and extensive. He alludes to those infirmities of temper and disposition which so often corrode our peace, and make us unamiable and uncomfortable to ourselves and those around us. When the risings of discontent, peevishness, envy, anger, resentment, or any evil passion, disturb or threaten to take possession of our hearts, then is the man that ruleth his spirit superior in the eyes of the eastern monarch to the hero returning from the battle or the siege, crowned with laurels, and covered with glory! I cannot dismiss this subject without remarking the very sweet and engaging point of view in which a person appears to me when I see them pliably yielding their own will to the will of another. A late writer makes the following excellent remark:-"Great actions are so often performed from little motives of vanity, self-complacency, and the like, that I am apt to think more highly of the person whom I observe checking a reply to a petulant speech, or even submitting to the judgment of another in stirring the fire, than of one who gives away thousands!" Let your husband be dearer and of more consequence to you than any other human being; and have no hesitation in confessing those feelings to him. Leave father and mother, and brother and sister, and cleave only to him. It is expressly the will of God; for of course the command applies to woman in the same degree as to man. What is any one to you in comparison of your husband? Whom have you a legal claim on, gentle. lady?—Your husband only. Who has sworn by the laws of God and man to support and protect you? Your husband only. Whose home have you a lawful right to?-whose purse have you a lawful claim on?-Your husband's only. In whose house do you feel the sweets of independence? and in whose house can you proudly look round you, and say, "I reign as mistress here ?"—Your husband's, and your husband's only. Turn then, gentle friend, to your husband: let his interest, his comforts, his wishes, all be yours; |