had a natural propenfity to gallentry; but having converfed with none but my mother's maids, I could never addrefs my felf to a fine lady, without apparent bashfulness. I was often laugh'd at; but was forc'd to bear it, in hopes that time and experience might bring me to what they call a modeft affurance. But all I could do fignifi'd nothing; and I had labour'd still under the fame infirmity, had not my good fortune introduc'd me to the ingenious Mrs. ARTIFICE, who was a fort of broker in affairs of love. I was overjoy'd at fuch an acquaintance, and through her pious inftructions, I fo far got the better of my modefty, that I could romp with a lady in publick, and turn out a double entendre in a full affembly without confufion of face. This refinement of behaviour in me was matter of great admiration. L----d, fays one, is this the modeft Mr. TILLAGE? Who could have thought it of him? fays another. How ftrangely he's improv'd? fays a third. Well! faysa fourth, I find he will make a cleaver gentleman after all. I need not tell you the pleasure I had on thefe occafions: I grew more and more in confidence, and the favour of the ladies: nor was it long before Mrs. ARTIFICE very graciously recommended me to the fervice of a young lady of confiderable fortune. I dreffed and danced, made vifits in form, drank tea, and chatted with great applause; and had certainly carried her, had not the envious world begun to talk too freely of my circumftances. In fhort, I loft my mistress by the vigilance of her friends, to my great difappointment; and forrow proportionable: and poor Mrs. ARTIFICE herself fell under the general cenfure of moft companies there one calling her in plain terms a little crooked, ugly creature; another, no better than a down-right match-maker infomuch, that for quietnefs fake the was forced to leave the town, and take a tour to the B---H. It was an additional concern to me, to find my guardian an gel treated fo unworthily on my account. And therfore, in defence of injur'd innocence, I muft take the liberty of informing the world, that, in ftrictnefs of fpeech, the preeminence of a lady's back is rather a misfortune then a fault; and that profeffion itself, for which fhe is fo reproach'd, is far from being dishonourable, fince it tends to the lawful introduction of lovers into the holy ftate of matrimony. If you please to immortalize these particulars in your next journal, as being of great importance to many genteel readers of each fex, you will highly oblige, TILLAGE-HALL, SIR, Your moft obedient fervant, THOMAS TILLAGE. A True Tale of a COUNTRY 'SQUIRE. A Man of wisdom may disguise His knowledge, and not feem too wife: But, take it for a constant rule, That, with great coft and fruitless care, But JOHN fhall go, and he'll advise ye, Here, JoHN, d'you mind, give NUMPs a touch, Whene'er he talks, or eats too much. Be Be fure take heed he don't neglect, In handsome terms, with good address. All pafs'd on well, 'till fupper came: Let th' confequence be what it will. The confequences which befel. My dainty mufe wou'd fain have done : } } Who Who flept, till bitter voice and groan For heav'n's fake find some excufe, So faid, fo done; up got the fquire, Quoth JoHN, I've had a tedious night, One nap, dear girls, is all I beg. ------A nap! Su, give him fome cold pig. They pull'd, JoHN fqueez'd, and gave a grunt ; } His His worship, tickled with the whim, But, feeing JOHN with fhame caft down, JOHN bow'd Young mafter fitting by, Seeing the prize with envious eye, Cry'd out aloud, why JoHN, you know Oh blunder! never to be mended ; BAVIUS Grubftreet Journal, No 91. ASTROPIAN GALLANTRY: Or, The PEACH-STONE, occafioned by drinking Mifs SK-TH's Health at ASTROP-WELLS; a Peach-ftone, which he once had in ber Mouth, being always put into the Glafs. W I. HERE healing fprings, near ASTROP plac'd, A PEACH-STONE yields the wine as faft, And fills the glass as high. II. Such magick in that prize is found, By bright MARIA taught To |