118 Trust in God. Truth. Good-nature. [§§ 138, 139

his Hand, he turn'd about his Head, to see how near his Pursuer was, who was at the Entrance of the Porch, with his Sword up ready to strike; and he had just Time to get in, and clap to the Door to avoid the Blow, which, though 5 his Body escaped, his Mind did not. This frightening Idea made so deep an Impression there, that it lasted many Years, if not all his Life after. For, telling this Story when he was a Man, he said, That after that time till then, he never went in at that Door (that he could remember) at any Io time without looking back, whatever Business he had in his Head, or how little soever before he came thither he thought of this Mad-man.

If Children were let alone, they would be no more afraid in the Dark, than in broad Sun-shine: They would 15 in their turns as much welcome the one for Sleep as the other to play in. There should be no Distinction made to them by any Discourse of more Danger or terrible Things in the one than the other: But if the Folly of any one about them should do them this Harm, and make them 20 think there is any Difference between being in the dark and winking, you must get it out of their Minds as soon as you can; and let them know, that God, who made all things good for them, made the Night that they might sleep the better and the quieter; and that they being under his 25 Protection, there is nothing in the dark to hurt them. What is to be known more of God and good Spirits, is to be deferr'd till the time we shall hereafter mention; and of evil Spirits, 'twill be well if you can keep him from wrong Fancies about them till he is ripe for that sort of Know30 ledge.

$139. Having laid the Foundations of Virtue in a true Notion of a God, such as the Creed wisely

Truth. teaches, as far as his Age is capable, and by

accustoming him to pray to Him; the next thing to be 35 taken care of, is to keep him exactly to speaking of Truth, and by all the ways imaginable inclining him to Good-Nature. be good-natur'd. Let him know that twenty Faults are sooner to be forgiven than the straining of Truth to cover any one by an Excuse. And to teach him 40 betimes to love and be good-natur'd to others, is to lay early the true Foundation of an honest Man; all Injustice

S$ 139, 140] Correct Bias. Wisdom v. Cunning. 119 generally springing from too great Love of our selves and too little of others.

This is all I shall say of this Matter in general, and is enough for laying the first Foundations of Virtue in a Child: As he grows up, the Tendency of his natural Incli- 5 nation must be observed; which, as it inclines him more than is convenient on one or t'other side from the right Path of Virtue,' ought to have proper Remedies applied. For few of Adam's Children are so happy, as not to be born with some Byass in their natural Temper, which it is 10 the Business of Education either to take off, or counterbalance. But to enter into Particulars of this, would be beyond the Design of this short Treatise of Education. I intend not a Discourse of all the Virtues and Vices, how each Virtue is to be attained, and every particular Vice by 15 its peculiar Remedies cured: Though I have mentioned some of the most ordinary Faults, and the Ways to be used in correcting them.

$140.

Wisdom I take in the popular Acceptation, for a Man's managing his Business ably and with foresight in this World. This is the Product of

Wisdom.

20

a good natural Temper, Application of Mind, and Experience together, and so above the reach of Children. The greatest thing that in them can be done towards it, is to hinder them, as much as may be, from being cunning; 25 which, being the Ape of Wisdom, is the most distant from it that can be: And as an Ape for the Likeness it has to a Man, wanting what really should make him so, is by so much the uglier; Cunning is only the want of Understanding, which because it cannot compass its Ends by direct 30 Ways, would do it by a Trick and Circumvention; and the Mischief of it is, a cunning Trick helps but once, but hinders ever after. No Cover was ever made either so big or so fine as to hide it self: No body was ever so cunning as to conceal their being so: And when they are once dis- 35 covered, every Body is shy, every Body distrustful of crafty Men; and all the World forwardly join to oppose and defeat them; whilst the open, fair, wise Man has every body to make way for him, and goes directly to his Busi

ness.

To accustom a Child to have true Notions of things, 40 and not to be satisfied till he has them; to raise his Mind

to great and worthy Thoughts, and to keep him at a Distance from Falshood and Cunning, which has always a broad Mixture of Falshood in it; is the fittest Preparation of a Child for Wisdom. The rest, which is to be learn'd 5 from Time, Experience, and Observation, and an Acquaintance with Men, their Tempers and Designs, is not to be expected in the Ignorance and Inadvertency of Childhood, or the inconsiderate Heat and Unwariness of Youth: All that can be done towards it, during this unripe Age, is, as I Io have said, to accustom them to Truth and Sincerity; to a submission to Reason; and as much as may be, to Reflection on their own Actions.

15

20

Breeding.

§ 141. The next good Quality belonging to a Gentleman, is good Breeding. There are two sorts of ill Breeding: The one a sheepish Bashfulness, and the other a mis-becoming Negligence and Disrespect in our Carriage; both which are avoided by duly observing this one Rule, Not to think meanly of ourselves, and not to think meanly of others.

We

§ 142. The first part of this Rule must not be understood in Opposition to Humility, but to Assurance. ought not to think so well of our selves, as to stand upon our own Value; and assume to our selves a Preference before others, because of any Advantage we may imagine we have 25 over them; but modestly to take what is offered, when it is our due. But yet we ought to think so well of our selves, as to perform those Actions which are incumbent on, and expected of us, without Discomposure or Disorder, in whose Presence soever we are; keeping that Respect and Distance 30 which is due to every one's Rank and Quality. There is often in People, especially Children, a clownish Shamefacedness before Strangers or those above them: They are confounded in their Thoughts, Words, and Looks; and so lose themselves in that Confusion as not to be 35 able to do any thing, or at least not to do it with that Freedom and Gracefulness which pleases, and makes them be acceptable. The only cure for this, as for any other Miscarriage, is by use to introduce the contrary Habit. But since we cannot accustom ourselves to converse with 40 Strangers and Persons of Quality without being in their Company, nothing can cure this Part of Ill-breeding but

Change and Variety of Company, and that of Persons above us.

$143. As the before-mentioned consists in too great a Concern how to behave ourselves towards others; so the other Part of Ill-breeding lies in the Appearance of too 5 little care of pleasing or shewing Respect to those we have to do with. To avoid this these two things are requisite: First, a Disposition of the Mind not to offend others; and Secondly, the most acceptable and agreeable way of expressing that Disposition. From the one Men are called 10 civil; from the other well-fashion'd. The latter of these is that Decency and Gracefulness of Looks, Voice, Words, Motions, Gestures, and of all the whole outward Demeanour, which takes in Company, and makes those with whom we may_converse, easy and well pleased. This is, as it were, 15 the Language whereby that internal Civility of the Mind is expressed; which, as other Languages are, being very much governed by the Fashion and Custom of every Country, must, in the Rules and Practice of it, be learn'd chiefly from Observation, and the Carriage of those who are allow'd 20 to be exactly well-bred. The other Part, which lies deeper than the Outside, is that general Good-will and Regard for all People, which makes any one have a care not to shew in his Carriage any Contempt, Disrespect, or Neglect of them; but to express, according to the Fashion and Way of that 25 Country, a Respect and Value for them according to their Rank and Condition. It is a Disposition of the Mind that shews it self in the Carriage, whereby a Man avoids making any one uneasy in Conversation.

I shall take notice of four Qualities, that are most 30 directly opposite to this first and most taking of all the social Vertues. And from some one of these four it is, that Incivility commonly has its Rise. I shall set them down, that Children may be preserv'd or recover'd from their ill Influence.

I.

Roughness.

The first is, a natural Roughness, which makes a 35 Man uncomplaisant to others, so that he has no Deference for their Inclinations, Tempers, or Conditions. 'Tis the sure Badge of a Clown, not to mind what pleases or displeases those he is with; and yet one may often find a Man in fashionable Clothes give an unbounded 40 swing to his own Humour, and suffer it to justle or over-run any

122

Ill-breeding analysed.

Rallying.

[§ 143

one that stands in its way, with a perfect Indifferency how they take it. This is a Brutality that every one sees and abhors, and no body can be easy with: And therefore this finds no place in any one who would be thought to have the 5 least Tincture of Good-breeding. For the very End and Business of Good-breeding is to supple the natural Stiffness, and so soften Men's Tempers, that they may bend to a Compliance, and accommodate themselves to those they have to do with.

ΙΟ

15

2.

Contempt.

Censorious

ness.

Contempt, or want of due Respect, discovered either in Looks, Words, or Gesture: This, from whomsoever it comes, brings always Uneasiness with it. For no body can contentedly bear being slighted. 3. Censoriousness, and finding fault with others, has a direct Opposition to Civility. Men, whatever they are or are not guilty of, would not have their Faults display'd and set in open View and broad Day-light, before their own or other People's Eyes. Blemishes affixed to any one always carry Shame 20 with them: And the Discovery, or even bare Imputation of any Defect is not born without some Uneasiness. Raillery is the most refined way of exposing the Raillery. Faults of others: But, because it is usually done with Wit and good Language, and gives Entertainment 25 to the Company, People are led into a Mistake, that where it keeps within fair Bounds there is no Incivility in it. And so the Pleasantry of this sort of Conversation often introduces it amongst People of the better Rank; and such Talkers are favourably heard and generally applauded by 30 the Laughter of the By-standers on their side. But they ought to consider, that the Entertainment of the rest of the Company is at the cost of that one who is set out in their burlesque Colours, who therefore is not without Uneasiness, unless the Subject for which he is rallied be really in itself 35 Matter of Commendation. For then the pleasant Images and Representations which make the Raillery carrying Praise as well as Sport with them, the rallied Person also finds his Account, and takes Part in the Diversion. because the right Management of so nice and ticklish a 40 Business, wherein a little Slip may spoil all, is not every body's Talent, I think those who would secure themselves

But