know not which way to put them to than as a sign for those things they outwardly yet unhandsomely imitate.

That little which they speak, or think, or do, smells of state. For to get but the name of an employment abroad, they will engage themselves, their friends, and fortunes. That is the uttermost of their ambition. But that small reputation which report gave them here, their own presence at their return doth utterly make to vanish. And by this means, which no other way could ever bring to their knowledge, they find the fruit of their ostentation and those vain imaginations which before possessed them. And thus much briefly of an affected statist. Now to other sorts.

It's affectation in one, though naturally an elegant speaker, not to descend a little to the capacity of such as he confers withal. For to some country husbandmen one were as good speak Latin as good English. To use in discoursing of an ordinary subject words of a high, sounding, and tragic strain, is as unseemly as walking on stilts where one may as well go in slippers. Likewise, rusticity in speech and base popular phrases in themselves show want of education, but affected, discover folly to boot. Old antique words, such as have been dead, buried, and rotten in the time of our greatgrandfathers, would become the ghost of Chaucer on a stage, but not a man of the present time. Likewise, new words like a new coin will not easily be received till both their weight and stamp have been examined. To which may be referred the saying of Pomponius Marcellus, who finding fault with something that was said in an oration of Tiberius Cæsar's, Atteius Capito contrarily affirmed that if it were not now Latin, yet it would be hereafter. "That is not so," saith Marcellus, "for though Cæsar can give naturalization in the city of Rome to men, yet he cannot do so to words. For

they can never be admitted till custom hath allowed them. That must be referred to public usance, not to

Cæsar's power. "'1

There be others that delight in figures, and their words fall in, one after another, like sequents, which they bring in in spite both of perspicuity and sense. And commonly, where a speech is all figures, you shall find the matter a mere cipher. Like to these are such as out of a poor ambition to obtain the grace of some good and decent word or metaphor will not stick (so they may get it into their writing) to write that which before they never intended, nor is perhaps to the purpose, or to alter the whole frame of their discourse. And for the most parts such words, as they are sought with much pain, so they are placed at little ease, and trouble either the matter or the method or the style for want of elbow-room.

The worst affectation of all other is to affect horrible oaths in speech, which some do, thinking them ornaments or signs of a great spirit, as indeed they are signs of such a spirit as they would be frighted to see appear; or telling of wonders and miracles, whereby expecting to get admiration, they carry away the reputation of liars. Lastly, there is a sort of people, that as in all things they love singularity, so in this, that they will subscribe to no word that savors not of the catechism, accounting natural and good speech as ethnic and unsanctified. But this were better called hypocrisy than affectation.

OF VISITATIONS

FEMININE thoughts be for the most part enemies to meditation, yet in this subject a help. For it is an idle, womanish, and therefore unnecessary and no masculine 1 SUETONIUS, De Illustris Grammaticis, ch. 22.

habit, though their weakness in this kind hath entered far into our sex, as it were by imitation. From whence may be discerned the force of ill examples, when so weak ones from weak women can draw us to ridiculousness, being an outside quality and expressing nothing of man's inward abilities. And yet it is a wonder to see what multitudes there be of all sorts that make this their only business, and in a manner spend their whole time in compliment, as if they were born to no other end, bred to no other purpose, had nothing else to do than to be a kind of living, walking ghosts to haunt and persecute others with unnecessary observation.

It is an argument either of folly or deceit for any to be more ceremonious than real, which is necessarily implied in these unnecessary visits. For they express either simplicity or flattery, the one the weakest, the other the basest quality that can be incident to any. Wise men will not view such persons but with scorn, nor respect them but with disesteem, for men of ability and judgment undervalue rather than praise them for these needless compliments, as being the practice of light and fantastical and not of wise men, because these unnecessary visits interrupt actions of more value and worth with making business where there is none.

Some go abroad, and God knows the visited be not beholding to them. For if these giddy goers be forced to give a reason for their wheeling up and down the streets, their answer is, they know not else how to pass the time. And how tedious it is for a man that accounts his hours to be subject to these vacancies to apply himself to lose a day with such time-passers, who neither come for business nor out of true friendship, but only to "spend the day," as if one had nothing else to do but to supply their idle time. How hard a task this is, those that be haunted with these spirits do so sensibly

feel, that I am loth to enlarge their torture, but only advise them to let those know who make a profession to pass their time with the loss of mine, that as their visitations be unprofitable to themselves, so they be tedious and burdensome unto me. And if that serve not the turn against their untimely visits, then bolt my door or hide myself, which shift I have known many put to for want of other defense.

And besides, when these spirits walk abroad, it is rather to show themselves than to see any, which for the most part is never in the morning, and especially on Sundays, because it is the best day in the week. All that while they be building themselves and viewing their own proportions, feeding instead of a breakfast upon how brave they shall appear in the afternoon. And then they go to the most public and most received places of entertainment, which be sundry, and therefore they stay not long in a place, but after they have asked you how you do, and told some old or fabulous news, laughed twice or thrice in your face and censured those they know you love not (when peradventure the next place they go to is to them, where they will be as courteous to you), spoke a few words of fashions and alterations, whispered some lascivious motion that shall be practiced the next day, fallen into discourse of liberty and how it agrees with humanity for women to have servants besides their husbands, made legs and postures of the last edition, with three or four new and diminutive oaths and protestations of their service and observance, they then retire to their coach and so prepare for another company, and continue in this vocation till the beginning of the next day, that is, till past midnight, and so home; when betimes in the morning the decorum is, if it be a lady visitor, to send her gentleman usher to see if all

those be well that she saw in perfect health but the night before.

This hath been more to show the deformity of it than the danger, which I would rather avoid than unmask because it touches too many particulars. But in general this: it is the index of an idle and unprofitable disposition, a taker up of time that may be better disposed, and such a spender of time that in few actions it can be worse employed. Many an unlawful bargain is concluded upon this exchange; contrary purposes be concealed under this vizzard, and few be practic in this art whose manners and lives be not corrupted. Besides, this vain custom once begun, induceth a habit not easily lost, therefore not good to begin; and once practiced, it is not so safely left; for begun, and not continued, makes the leaving of it off esteemed a neglect which otherwise would be never claimed as a due.

There be of this family or sect that are so punctual and methodical in their art, that they turn critics and censure those that be not as pertinent in impertinencies and spit not with as good a grace, or speak not to as good a tune (for all their words be but sound and no sense) as themselves, when such as are truly intelligent think this scorn their praise, for no man that hath any thoughts worthy of consideration will bestow the labor to speak or to entertain argument in such a case upon so barren and worthless an occasion.

And these kind of ceremonies be equally tedious to the complimenter and complimentee, if they reciprocally respect not this fond and dissimulate kind of conversation. And though it often happen that in some places where they visit, their tedious society be well accepted, which then must only be allowed to such as are of the same occupation and are even with them in the same kind, yet sometimes it falls out, they thus running over