And fee how he rides like a lord of the land, 95 With the fine flaming sword that he holds in his hand; Your Ladyship lifts up the fash to be seen, 100 (For fure I had dizen'd you out like a queen) : The Captain, to fhew he is proud of the favour, Looks up to your window, and cocks up his beaver; (His beaver is cock'd; pray, Madam, mark that, 105 For a Captain of horse never takes off his hat; Because he has never a hand that is idle; For the right holds the fword, and the left holds the bridle) : Then flourishes thrice his fword in the air, As a compliment due to a lady fo fair; 110 (How I tremble to think of the blood it hath spilt ;) 120 KIT, run to your master, and bid him come to us. I'm fure he'll be proud of the honour you do us; And, Captain, you'll do us the favour to stay, And take a fhort dinner here with us to-day : You're heartily welcome: but as for good cheer, You come in the very worst time of the year: If I had expected fo worthy a gueftLord, Madam! your Ladyship fure is in jeft; You banter me, Madam, the kingdom muft grantYou officers, Captain, are fo complaifant. 126 "HIST, huffy, I think I hear fome body coming No, Madam; 'tis only Sir Arthur a-humming. 130 To shorten my tale, (for 1 hate a long story), The Captain at dinner appears in his glory; The Dean and the Doctor have humbled their pride, For the Captain's intreated to fit by your fide; And, because he's their betters, you carve for him firft; The parsons for envy are ready to burst: The fervants amaz'd are scarce ever able To keep off their eyes, as they wait at the table; To peep at the Captain in all his fine clo'es: 135 Do but hear on the clergy how glib his tongue ran : And, Madam, fays he, if fuch dinners you give, 141 "You'll never want parsons as long as you live; "I ne'er knew a parson without a good nose, . But the devil's as welcome where-ever he goes: "G-d-me, they bid us reform and repent, 145 "But, z-s, by their looks they never keep lent: "Mister Curate, for all your grave looks I'm afraid "You cast a sheep's eye on her Ladyship's maid; "I wifh fhe would lend you her pretty white hand "In mending your caffock, and smoothing your band: (For the Dean was fo fhabby, and look'd like a "ninny, 154 "That the Captain suppos'd he was curate to Jenny): "Whenever fee a caffock and gown, you 155 “A hundred to one but it covers a clown; "Obferve how a parson comes into a room, “G-d—me, he hobbles as bad as my groom;. "A scholard, when juft from his college broke loose, "Can hardly tell how to cry bo to a goose; "Your Noveds, and Bluturks, and Omurs ||, and " stuff, By G-they don't fignify this pinch of fnuff. 160 Ovids, Plutarchs, Homers. See eflay on modern education, in vol. vii. p. 197. "To give a young gentleman right education, The army's the only good fchool in the nation; "My school-mafter call'd me a dunce and a fool, "But at cuffs I was always the cock of the school; "I never could take to my book for the blood o'me, "And the puppy confefs'd he expected no good 166 "o'me. "He caught me one morning coquetting his wife; "But he maul'd me, I ne'er was fo maul'd in my "life : "So I took to the road, and, what's very odd, "The first man I robb'd was a parfon, by G-. 170 "Now Madam, you'll think it a ftrange thing to But the fight of a book makes me fick to this day.” NEVER fince I was born did I hear so much wit, And, Madam,. I laugh'd till I thought I should split. So then you look'd scornful and fnift at the Dean, As who should fay, Now, am I skinny and lean †? 176 But he durft not fo much as once open his lips, And the Doctor was plaguily down in the hips. THUS merciless Hannah ran on in her talk, Till fhe heard the Dean call, Will your Ladyhip walk? 180 Her Ladyfeip answers, I'm just coming down: 190 An excellent new BALLAD; or, The true ENGLIS DEAN to be hanged for a.RAPE. Written in the year 1730. I OUR brethren of England, who love us fo dear, II. 5 In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester, She buftled, and struggled, and made her escape III. The Dean he purfa'd to recover his game; 10 But the company stood in defence of the dame ; 15 They cudgel'd, and cuff'd him, and kick'd him down stairs. His Deanship was now in a damnable scrape, IV. To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes, And orders the landlord to bring him a whorẻ; 20 No fcruple came on him his gown to expose, ↑ Sawbridge, Dean of Fernes. He had made himself drunk with the juice of the grape, And got a good clap, but committed no rape. V. The Dean and his landlord, a jolly comrade, 25 Refolv'd for a fortnight to fwim in delight; For why, they had both been brought up to the trade Of drinking all day, and of whoring all night. VI. This Proteftant zealot, this English divine, In church and in ftate was of principles found; Was truer than Steele to the Hanover line, 30 And griev'd that a Tory fhould live above ground. Shall a fubject fo loyal be hang'd by the nape For no other crime, but committing a rape? VII. 35 By old Popish canons, as wife men have penn'd 'em, Each prieft had a concubine, jure ecclefiæ ; Who'd be Dean of Fernes without a commendam ? And precedents we can produce, if it please ye: 40 Then why should the Dean, when whores are fo cheap, Be put to the peril and toil of a rape ? VIII. If Fortune should please but to take fuch a crotchet, 45 Whom wouldst thou refemble? I leave thee a guef fer; But I only behold thee in Atherton's,* shape, * A bishop of Waterford, fent from England a hundred years ago. |