And fee how he rides like a lord of the land,

95

With the fine flaming sword that he holds in his hand;
And his horse, the dear creter, it prances and rears
With ribbands in knots at its tail and its ears:
At last comes the troop, by the word of command,
Drawn up in our court; when the Captain cries,
STAND.

Your Ladyship lifts up the fash to be seen,

100

(For fure I had dizen'd you out like a queen) : The Captain, to fhew he is proud of the favour, Looks up to your window, and cocks up his beaver; (His beaver is cock'd; pray, Madam, mark that, 105 For a Captain of horse never takes off his hat;

Because he has never a hand that is idle;

For the right holds the fword, and the left holds the bridle) :

Then flourishes thrice his fword in the air,

As a compliment due to a lady fo fair;

110

(How I tremble to think of the blood it hath spilt ;)
Then he low'rs down the point and kiffes the hilt.
Your Ladyship fmiles, and thus you begin;
Pray, Captain, be pleas'd to alight and walk in.
The Captain falutes you with congee profound, 115
And your Ladykip curtfies half-way to the ground.

120

KIT, run to your master, and bid him come to us. I'm fure he'll be proud of the honour you do us; And, Captain, you'll do us the favour to stay, And take a fhort dinner here with us to-day : You're heartily welcome: but as for good cheer, You come in the very worst time of the year: If I had expected fo worthy a gueftLord, Madam! your Ladyship fure is in jeft; You banter me, Madam, the kingdom muft grantYou officers, Captain, are fo complaifant.

126

"HIST, huffy, I think I hear fome body coming

No, Madam; 'tis only Sir Arthur a-humming.

130

To shorten my tale, (for 1 hate a long story), The Captain at dinner appears in his glory; The Dean and the Doctor have humbled their pride, For the Captain's intreated to fit by your fide; And, because he's their betters, you carve for him firft; The parsons for envy are ready to burst:

The fervants amaz'd are scarce ever able

To keep off their eyes, as they wait at the table;
And Molly and I have thrust in our nose

To peep at the Captain in all his fine clo'es:
Dear Madam, be fure he's a fine spoken man,

135

Do but hear on the clergy how glib his tongue ran :

And, Madam, fays he, if fuch dinners you give, 141 "You'll never want parsons as long as you live; "I ne'er knew a parson without a good nose, . But the devil's as welcome where-ever he goes: "G-d-me, they bid us reform and repent, 145 "But, z-s, by their looks they never keep lent: "Mister Curate, for all your grave looks I'm afraid "You cast a sheep's eye on her Ladyship's maid; "I wifh fhe would lend you her pretty white hand "In mending your caffock, and smoothing your band:

(For the Dean was fo fhabby, and look'd like a

"ninny,

154

"That the Captain suppos'd he was curate to Jenny): "Whenever fee a caffock and gown,

you

155

“A hundred to one but it covers a clown; "Obferve how a parson comes into a room, “G-d—me, he hobbles as bad as my groom;. "A scholard, when juft from his college broke loose, "Can hardly tell how to cry bo to a goose; "Your Noveds, and Bluturks, and Omurs ||, and

" stuff,

By G-they don't fignify this pinch of fnuff. 160
Doctor Jenny, a clergyman in the neighbourhood,

Ovids, Plutarchs, Homers. See eflay on modern education, in vol. vii. p. 197.

"To give a young gentleman right education,

The army's the only good fchool in the nation; "My school-mafter call'd me a dunce and a fool, "But at cuffs I was always the cock of the school; "I never could take to my book for the blood o'me, "And the puppy confefs'd he expected no good 166

"o'me.

"He caught me one morning coquetting his wife; "But he maul'd me, I ne'er was fo maul'd in my

"life :

"So I took to the road, and, what's very odd, "The first man I robb'd was a parfon, by G-. 170 "Now Madam, you'll think it a ftrange thing to

But the fight of a book makes me fick to this day.”

NEVER fince I was born did I hear so much wit, And, Madam,. I laugh'd till I thought I should split. So then you look'd scornful and fnift at the Dean, As who should fay, Now, am I skinny and lean †? 176 But he durft not fo much as once open his lips, And the Doctor was plaguily down in the hips.

THUS merciless Hannah ran on in her talk,

Till fhe heard the Dean call, Will your Ladyhip

walk?

180

Her Ladyfeip answers, I'm just coming down:
Then turning to Hannah, and forcing a frown,
Altho' it was plain in her heart she was glad,
Cry'd, Huffy, why fure the wench is gone mad: 184
How could thefe chimera's get into her brains?
Come hither, and take this old gown for your pains.
But the Dean, if this fecret fhould come to his ears,
Will never have done with his gibes and his jeers:
For your life, not a word of the matter, I charge ye :
Give me but a barrack, a fig for the clergy.

190

An excellent new BALLAD; or, The true ENGLIS DEAN to be hanged for a.RAPE.

Written in the year 1730.

I

OUR brethren of England, who love us fo dear,
And in all they do for us fo kindly do mean,
A bleffing upon them! have fent us this year,
For the good of our church, a true English Dean.
A holier priest ne'er was wrapt up in crape;
The worst you can fay, he committed a rape.

II.

5

In his journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester,
And there he grew fond of another man's wife;
Burft into her chamber, and would have carefs'd her ;
But fhe valu'd her honour much more than her
life.

She buftled, and struggled, and made her escape
To a room full of guests, for fear of a rape.

III.

The Dean he purfa'd to recover his game;
And now to attack her again he prepares :

10

But the company stood in defence of the dame ;

15

They cudgel'd, and cuff'd him, and kick'd him

down stairs.

His Deanship was now in a damnable scrape,
And this was no time for committing a rape.

IV.

To Dublin he comes, to the bagnio he goes,

And orders the landlord to bring him a whorẻ; 20

No fcruple came on him his gown to expose,
'Twas what all his life he had practis'd before.

↑ Sawbridge, Dean of Fernes.

He had made himself drunk with the juice of the grape, And got a good clap, but committed no rape.

V.

The Dean and his landlord, a jolly comrade,

25

Refolv'd for a fortnight to fwim in delight; For why, they had both been brought up to the trade

Of drinking all day, and of whoring all night.
His landlord was ready his Deanship to ape
In ev'ry debauch, but committing a rape.

VI.

This Proteftant zealot, this English divine,

In church and in ftate was of principles found; Was truer than Steele to the Hanover line,

30

And griev'd that a Tory fhould live above ground. Shall a fubject fo loyal be hang'd by the nape For no other crime, but committing a rape?

VII.

35

By old Popish canons, as wife men have penn'd 'em, Each prieft had a concubine, jure ecclefiæ ;

Who'd be Dean of Fernes without a commendam ?

And precedents we can produce, if it please ye: 40 Then why should the Dean, when whores are fo cheap,

Be put to the peril and toil of a rape ?

VIII.

If Fortune should please but to take fuch a crotchet,
(To thee I apply, great Smedley's fucceffor),
To give thee lawn fleeves, a mitre and rotchet,

45

Whom wouldst thou refemble? I leave thee a guef

fer;

But I only behold thee in Atherton's,* shape,
For sodomy hang'd, as thou for a rape.

* A bishop of Waterford, fent from England a hundred years

ago.