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Phil wish'd, that she had ftrain'd a limb,
When firft fhe ventur'd out with him;
John wifh'd, that he had broke a leg,
When firft for her he quitted Peg.

Bur what adventures more befel 'em,
The mufe hath now no time to tell 'em,
How Johnny wheedled, threaten'd, fawn'd,
Till Phillis all her trinkets pawn'd:
How oft fhe broke her marriage-vows

In kindness to maintain her fpoule,

Till fwains unwholesome spoil'd the trade;
For now the furgeons must be paid,

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To whom those perquifites are gone,

In Christian juftice due to John.

When food and raiment now grew scarce,

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Fate put a period to the farce,

And with exact poetic juftice;

For John is landlord, Phillis hoftefs:

They keep at Staines the old Blue Boar,

Are cat and dog, and rogue and whore.

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The PROGRESS of POETRY.

Written in the year 1720.

THE farmer's goofe, who in the ftubble

Has fed without restraint or trouble,

Grown fat with corn, and fitting ftill,
Can fcarce get o'er the barn-door fill;
And hardly waddles forth to cool
Her belly in the neighb'ring pool;
Nor loudly cackles at the door;
For cackling fhews the goofe is poor.
BUT, when she must be turn'd to grafe,

And round the barren common strays,

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Hard exercise, and harder fare

Soon make my dame grow lank and fpare:
Her body light, fhe tries her wings,

And fcorns the ground, and upward fprings;
While all the parish, as fhe flies,

Hear founds harmonious from the fkies.

SUCH is the poet fresh in pay,

(The third night's profits of his play);
His morning draughts till noon can fwill
Among his brethren of the quill:
With good roast beef his belly full,
Grown lazy, foggy, fat, and dull,
Deep funk in plenty and delight,
What poet e'er could take his flight?

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Or, stuff'd with phlegm up to the throat,

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What poet e'er could fing a note?

Nor Pegasus could bear the load

Along the high celestial road;

The steed, opprefs'd, would break his girth
To raise the lumber from the earth.

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BUT view him in another scene, When all his drink is Hippocrene, His money spent, his patrons fail, His credit out for cheese and ale;

His two-year's coat so smooth and bare,

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And up he rifes like a vapour,
Supported high on wings of paper;

He finging flies, and flying fings,
While from below all Grubítreet rings.

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The PROGRESS of BEAUTY.

Written in the year 1720.

7HEN firft Diana leaves her bed,

W

Vapours and fteams her look difgrace,

A frowzy dirty colour'd red

Sits on her cloudy wrinkled face :

But by degrees, when mounted high,
Her artificial face appears
Down from her window in the fky,
Her fpots are gone, her vifage clears.

"Twixt earthly females and the moon
All parallels exactly run :
If Celia should appear too soon,
Alas, the nymph would be undone !

To fee her from her pillow rife,

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All reeking in a cloudy steam,

Crack'd lips, foul teeth, and gummy eyes,

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Poor Strephon, how would he blafpheme!

Three colours, black, and red, and white,
So graceful in their proper place,

They form a frightful hideous face:

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Remove them to a diff'rent site,

For instance, when the lily skips
Into the precincts of the rose,
And takes poffeffion of the lips,
Leaving the purple to the nofe.

So Celia went entire to bed,

All her complexion safe and sound ;

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But when the rofe, white, black, and red,
Tho' ftill in fight, had chang'd their ground.

The black, which would not be confin'd,

A more inferior station feeks, Leaving the fiery red behind,

And mingles in her muddy cheeks.

But Celia can with eafe reduce,

By help of pencil, paint, and brush, Each colour to its place and ufe,

And teach her cheeks again to blush.

She knows her early felf no more;

But fill'd with admiration stands,

As other painters oft adore

The workmanship of their own hands.

Thus, after four important hours,

Celia's the wonder of her fex:

Say, which among the heav'nly pow'rs
Could caufe fuch marvellous effects?

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40.

Venus, indulgent to her kind,

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Gave women all their hearts could wish,

When firft she taught them where to find

White lead and Lufitanian * dish.

Love with white lead cements his wings:
White lead was fent us to repair

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Two brighteft, brittleft earthly things,
A lady's face, and China ware.

She ventures now to lift the fash;

The window is her proper fphere :

Ah lovely nymph! be not too rafh,
Nor let the beaux approach too near:

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• Portugal,

Take pattern by your fifter ftar;

Delude at once, and bless our fight; When you are feen, be feen from far, And chiefly chufe. to fhine by night.

But art no longer can prevail,

When the materials all are gone;
The best mechanic hand muft fail,
Where nothing's left to work upon.

Matter, as wife logicians fay,
Cannot without a form fubfift;
And form, fay I, as well as they,
Muft fail, if matter brings no grift,

And this is fair Diana's cafe ;

For all astrologers maintain,
Each night a bit drops off her face,
When mortals fay she's in her wane :

*

While Partridge wifely fhews the caufe
Efficient of the moon's decay,

That Cancer with his pois'nous claws
Attacks her in the milky way:

But Gadbury, in art profound,

From her pale cheeks pretends to show,
That fwain Endymion † is not found,
Or else that Mercury's her foe.

But, let the cause be what it will,

In half a month fhe looks fo thin, That Flamstead can, with all his skill, See but her forehead and her chin.

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* Partridge and Gadbury wrote each an ephemeris. Hawkef + Endymion, a young thepherd, of whom Diana was feigned to be enamoured. Hawkef.

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