as oh, the wood-saw with which Wood would saw wood. But one day Wood's wood-saw would saw no wood, and thus the wood Wood sawed was not the wood Wood would saw if Wood's wood-saw would saw wood. Now, Wood would saw wood with a wood-saw that would saw wood, so Esaw sought a saw that would saw wood. One day Esaw saw a saw saw wood as no other wood-saw Wood saw would saw wood. In fact, of all the wood-saws Wood ever saw saw wood Wood never saw a wood-saw that would saw wood as the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood would saw wood, and I never saw a wood-saw that would saw the wood-saw Wood saw would saw until I saw Esaw Wood saw wood with the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood. Now Wood saws wood with the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood. Oh, the wood the wood-saw Wood saw would sa ! Oh, the wood Wood's woodshed would shed when Wood would saw wood with the wood-saw Wood saw saw wood! Finally, no man may ever know how much wood the wood-saw Wood saw would saw, if the wood-saw Wood saw would saw all the wood the wood-saw Wood saw would saw. W. E. SOUTHWICK. Well, you don't have to read it. THE CUMMERBUND To watch the Evening Star, Cried, "My! how fair you are !" Around her bower with quivering leaves, The tall Kamsahmahs grew, And Kitmutgars in wild festoons Hung down from Tchokis blue. Below her home the river rolled With soft meloobious sound, Where golden-finned Chuprassis swam In myriads circling round. Above, on tallest trees remote Green Ayahs perched alone, Its melancholy tone. Their branches far and wide, In silence, side by side. Rose on the flagrant air, Deep in his hateful lair. And heard the Nimmak hum, When all at once a cry arose, “The Cummerbund is come !" In vain she fled: with open jaws The angry monster followed, And so (before assistance came) The Lady Fair was swollowed. They sought in vain for even a bone Respectfully to bury; They said, “Hers was a dreadful fate!" (And Echo answered, “Very!") They nailed her Dobie to the wall, Where last her form was seen, And underneath they wrote these words In yellow, blue and green: "Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! Nor sit out late at night, Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come And swollow you outright." EDWARD LEAR. What oft was thought, but ne'er so well expressed. CUPID'S DARTS Than be spitted by the many pins that bristle from your hat. PUNCH (Which are a growing menace to the public) Pretty clever inter-rhyming. SOME PSALM Do not worry if I scurry from the grill room in a hurry, Dropping hastily my curry and re tiring into balk; Do not let it cause you wonder if, by some mischance or blunder, We encounter on the Underground and I get out and walk. If I double as a cub'll when you meet him in the stubble, Do not think I am in trouble or at tempt to make a fuss; Do not judge me melancholy or at tribute it to folly If I leave the Metropolitan and travel 'n a bus The Ford is my Car, its name's sake. It prepareth a breakdown for me in the presence of mine enemies. Yea, though I run through the valleys, I am towed up the hill. I fear great evil when it is with me. Its rods and its engines discomfort me, It anointeth my face with oil, Its tank runneth over, Surely to goodness if this thing follow me all the days of my life, I shall dwell in the house of the insane for ever. Do not quiet your anxiety by giving me a diet, Or by base resort to vi et armis fold me to your arms, And let no suspicious tremor violate your wonted phlegm or Any fear that Harold's memory is faithless to your charms. More truth than poetry—but not much of either. STATELY VERSE For my passion as I dash on in that disconcerting fashion Is as ardently irrational as when we forged the link When you gave your little hand away to me, my own Amanda An we sat 'n the veranda till the stars began to wink. If Mary goes far out to sea, By wayward breezes fanned, I'd like to know can you tell me? Just where would Maryland ! And I am in such a famine when your beauty I examine That it lures me as the jam invites a hungry little brat; But I fancy that, at any rate, I'd rather waste a penny If Tenny went high up in air And looked o’er land and lea, Looked here and there and every where, An English lady had a steed. She called him 'Ighland Bay. She rode for exercise, and thus Rhode Island every day. Yes, another one's coming. THUDS FROM THE PADDED CELL How much did Philadelphia Pa? Whose grass did K. C. Mo? La? Owe! wood eye wear a sailer bowled To sale upon the mane. Beet oar the rocs in vain. From climb to climb they flee, No that's the plaice for me. With size upon the beech, may, Yon bark's beyond my reech. Susan (we call her Sioux) she'll make Me mind my peas and cues; Her hart, in which I dwell, would brake, Ware I butt scene to crews. Says she: "What ales yew? 'Twere a cell Upon the seize to Rome, A boat, too pares of skulls as well. We'll choose, and bye when home. The weigh I've studded, and can roe E’en when the river's crammed, Ore from the boughs I'll watch you toe, And wish the oshun damned.” What was it made Chicago Ill? 'Twas Washington, D. C.? She would Tacoma Wash, in spite Of a Baltimore Md. When Hartford and New Haven Conn, What reuben do they soak? Could Noah build a Little Rock Ark If he had no Guthrie Ok? We call Minneapolis Minn. Why not Annapolis Ann? If you can't tell the reason why, I'll bet Topeka Kan. Oh, well, turn over the page, then. 1. Did Abram S. Hewitt ? Did he use an axe? 2. In your aquatic exercises did you ever try to Roanoke ? 3. Was it the Sheriff or the Senator who wrote the poem, beginning, “Now I Lamy down to Sleep?" 4. Can Frederick A. Vogt without registering! could it be properly said that the Atlantic is Pacific ? 19. What was it that Pendleton Centre? 20. Whom did London Punch? When? What for? 21. In the bicycling news appears this headline: "Bald on Top.” Does this refer to a i es it indicative of an abnormal *222. How does Long Island Sound? What makes it? Was this what Harvey J. Hurd? But some people just eat up this sort of thing. RURAL BLISS The poet is, or ought to be, a hater of the city, And so, when happiness is mine, and Maud becomes my wife, We'll look on town inhabitants with sympathetic pity, For we shall lead a peaceful and serene Arcadian life. appetite to try to get a job on the Gorge Route ? 6. How much water does it take to Philadelphia? Who? 7. When did you first become aware of the fact that Sydney, New South Wales? Why not? 8. The Captain said: “There is a list to starboard.” Who compiled the list ? 9. Explain in one word what happened when Robert K. Smither. Did it hurt? 10. Which rivers are Seine? Which insane? When? 11. What is the difference between an Alderney and a Moscow? 12. Who Painted Post? What colour? 13. What did the Senator Mark Hanna for? What did he do it with? Did she want to be marked? 14. We read in the Bible, “I heard the voice of Harpers harping with their harps.” Does this refer to the Weekly or the Bazar? 15. “The fossil is from the Tertiary age.". What was the ante? 16. In the game of golf does the tea caddy stay at the first tee or does he go over all the links? 17. What sort of men are J. A. Fellows? 18. In a literary review we read “An entertaining article entitled 'Let Us Have Peace in Europe' appears in the Atlantic this month.” In vịew of this Then shall I sing in eloquent and most effective phrases, The grandeur of geraniums and the beauty of the rose; Immortalise in deathless strains the buttercups and daisiesFor even I can hardly be mistaken as to those. The music of the nightingale will ring from leafy hollow, And fill us with a rapture indescrib able in words; And we shall also listen to the robin and the swallow (I wonder if a swallow sings!) and well, the other birds. Too long I dwelt in ignorance of all the countless treasures |