Clean the spots from the leopard; Return the bear's fond hug; When the tigers bound, Lie on the ground, SCHOOL With zebras wear striped clothing; Adapt your tone Going Ella W. W. one better. NIRVANA I am If there is a vile, pernicious, Wicked and degraded rule, Tending to debase the vicious, And corrupt the harmless fool; If there is a hateful habit Making man a senseless tool, With the feelings of a rabbit And the wisdom of a mule; It's the rule which inculcates, It's the habit which dictates The wrong and sinful practice of go ing into school. If there's anything improving To an erring sinner's state, Which is useful in removing All the ills of human fate; If there's any glorious custom Which our faults can dissipate, And can casually thrust 'em Out of sight and make us great; It's the plan by which we shirk Half our matu-ti-nal work, The glorious institution of always being late. J. K. STEPHEN. A Clam! Serene, supreme tranquillity, less thoughts are blent. When the salt tide is rising to the flood, In billows blue my placid pulp I lave; And when it ebbs I slumber in the mud, Content alike with ooze or crystal wave. Proving the doctrine of original sin. THE FOOLKILLER'S SONG simple tune, and he started off in a Spanish trot, according to life-long The Foolkiller sat by a hickory tree, rules, and he sung as he went. "I'll in the luminous light of the moon; make it hot, in this dismal region of his eyes were lurid with a baleful glee, fools !" and he chanted a simple tune. And the Foolkiller's tresses were black as The old-time type. night, and the Foolkiller's voice was strong, and the Foolkiller sung with a weird delight, this simple yet rapturous song: “Oh, whither and where is the youth who goes in the light of AS EXPANDED ihe waning day, to the river side, where the bock beer flows and squan- A diminutive specimen of juvenile ders away his pay? I sigh for a crack femininity yelept Miss Muffet had at his swollen head, and a punch at his placed herself in a sitting posture upon bloodshot eye. Oh, whither and where an article of household furniture oris the youth, I said, that I'll find him dinarily termed an ottoman or hassock. and let him die? Oh, whither away is Ministering to the gratification of the man who tries to get off a public her gustatory organs by ingurgitating speech; who'll range from murmurs the coagulated portion of bovine lacteal and broken sighs to a desperate wolfish fluid mingled with the watery serum of „screech; who gropes around for a the same wbich remains after the coagmissing word, and stammers and bums ulated portion has been segregated and and haws? Oh, soon will the crack of withdrawn. my club be heard, as it flattens upon Happening to glance downwards, >nis jaws. Oh, show me the path in she observed that a specimen of the some lonely dell where I'll find an genus Araneida, class Arachnida, reidiot grey, who twangs a note on the markable for its ability to produce filachestnut bell, whenever a word you ments of extraordinary tenuity from say; for a chestnut bell is a fool's de- its own interior, had taken a position vice, which none but a fool will use, upon the ottoman or hassock in immeand I'll knock such lunatics in a trice, diate proximity to her. clear out of their high-heeled shoes. Which totally unexpected incident Oh, whither away is the man who aroused her apprehension to such an smiles, and grins in the house of extent that she immediately, not to prayer? For he thinks he's smart, but say precipitately, arose from her sitmy snares and wiles will coax him into ting posture and departed from the my lair; and there in the dark and locality, leaving the intruder in undisdismal damp, I'll flatten him on the puted possession of the apartment. wall, and I'll pave the floor of my lonely camp with his indestructible CHICAGO TRIBUNE, gall !” Then the Foolkiller leaped to his feet quite blithe, in the light of the waning moon, and he drew a finger Well, you don't have to eat a whole along his scythe, as he chanted that egg, to know you don't like it. THEODORE ROOSEVELT Alert as bird or early worm, Yet gifted with those courtly ways Which connoisseurs correctly term The tout-c'qu’-il-y-a de Louis seize; He reigns, by popular assent, The people's peerless President! Behold him ! Squarely built and small; Liszt's, The contour of Fitzsimmons' fists; Beneath whose velvet gloves you feel The politician's grip of steel. Accomplished as a King should be, And autocratic as a Czar, In spotless Washington afar; And, since his sole delight and pride Are exercise and open air, His spirit chafes at being tied All day to an official chair; The bell-boys (in the room beneath) Can hear him gnash his serried teeth. In summertime he can't resist A country gallop on his cob, So, like a thorough altruist, He lets another do his job; Hay. He manages to take a lot Where other Presidents have not; At 8 he schools a restive horse, (He doesn't take it all, of course) ; And then at 5 o'clock, maybe, Some coloured man drops in to tea. At intervals throughout the day He sprints around the house, or if His residence is Oyster Bay, He races up and down the cliff; While seagulls scream about his legs, Or hasten home to hide their eggs. A man of deeds, not words, is he, Who never stooped to roll a log; Agile as fond gazelle or flea, Sagacious as an indoor dog; In him we find a spacious mind, "Uncribb'd, uncabin'd, unconfin'd." 1 In martial exploits he delights, And has no fear of War's alarms; The hero of a hundred fights, Since first he was a child (in arms); Like battle-horse, when bugles bray, He champs his bit and tries to neigh, In him combined we critics find The diplomatic skill of Choate, Elijah Dowie's breadth of mind, And Chauncey's fund of anecdote; He joins the morals of Susannah To Dr. Munyon's bedside manner. The rugged virtues of his race He softens with a Dewey's tact, Combining Shafter's easy grace With all Bourke Cockran's love of fact; To Dooley's pow'rs of observation He adds the charms of Carrie Nation. In him we see a devotee Of what is called the "simpler life" (To tell the naked Truth, and be Contented with a single wife). Luxurious living he abhors, And takes his pleasures out of doors, |