WHY THE MEN DON'T PROPOSE.
"Why don't the men propose," indeed?
I wonder why they do!
When from a sober single life

Such benefits accrue;

I wonder most that women boast
Their many score of beaux,
Yet "sit and sigh," and sadly cry-
"Why don't the men propose?"

"Tis very well to greet each belle
At revel or at rout;
To see them flirt, with jewels girt
Their fairy forms about.
No quiet scene, to intervene,

The youthful rev'ller knows; Yet will she sigh, and sadly cry"Why don't the men propose?"

Romance they read-reality
Is studied but by few;
Each lady scribbles poetry,
And thinks herself "a blue."
Fancy a curtain-lecture read
In poetry and prose!

How can they sigh, and sadly cry-
"Why don't the men propose?"

Silks, satins, millinery new,

And bills (of course) abound;
Such proofs of their extravagance
All steadier thoughts confound.
Balls, music-master, all that brings
One's fortune to a close,
Cry out against that silly cry-
"Why don't the men propose?"
If, 'spite of all, some "simple swain"
Would play the constant beau,
In vain he tries; la belle replies,
In angry accents, "No."
The fault is not with us, I'm sure
(THAT ev'rybody knows);
Yet still they ply the idle cry-
"Why don't the men propose?"

"Why don't the men propose?" 'tis vain
To think of such a thing;
Who, to abate a hapless fate,
More miseries would bring?

Mr.

The fact has been solemnly telegraphed to London that one of the judges has been on the treadmill (experimentally, of course), and the incident has been made the subject of several editorial comments and not a few ponderous jokes. Justice Day was the experimentalist, but the reporters do not say how his lordship liked the task of going upstairs and never getting to the top. It is to be hoped his experience was not so bad as that of one of the English judges a few years ago, of whom the following ludicrous story is told: His lordship, while visiting a model show prison in the provinces, noticed a treadmill, and his curiosity being excited, he determined to try the labor to which in his time he had sentenced so many prisoners. He was not to be persuaded out of the notion, and, stepping on to the machine, told a warder to set it going.

The man did so, and after about one and a half minutes' experience his lordship's curiosity was quite satisfied, and he ordered the mill to be stopped. But it turned out that although the mill was set to do the shortest possible spell, it could not be stopped until that time was finished, so the judge had to go grinding on until twenty minutes had expired. His lordship afterwards remarked that there was only one man in the world he would like to sentence again to hard labor on the treadmill. Need I say that that one individual was the stupid warder who had neglected to explain the "spell principle" before his lordship took his "turn?

"Pull out, Bill!" shrieked an engineer's son to one of his playmates, a brakeman's boy, who was in imminent danger of getting smashed up by his mother, who was coming after him, "Git on the main line and give her steam! Here comes the switch engine!" But before the juvenile could get in motion, she had him by the ear, and he was laid up with a hot box.Hawkeye.