WAT SCISSORS AVT NULLUS QUATRAIN. WE paddle on the river; It is canoe-bial bliss. -Williams Weekly. MR. EDWARD BULWER-LYTTON DICKENS, M. P., for Wilcannia, perpetrated a joke the New South Wales Parliament. That body contains a member named Willis, who remarkable not only for the prodigious length of his speeches, but also for the short, appy sentences in which he delivers them. Mr. Dickens followed him in debate the her night, and the first words of the youngest son of the novelist were: My father created the historic phrase Barkis is willin',' but if he were here to-night e would probably have altered it to Willis is barkin'.'" (Scene, Louisville residence; time, 10.30 P. M.: Masculine voice from head of airs): Young man, I reckon you don't know the saloons in this neighborhood close at "TELL me, dearest, what is it?" As Bertram Calloway uttered these words and gazed down into the face of the fair young creature at his side, he felt instinctively that she was about to give him some new proof of that great devotion which she had so often revealed to him. "I was thinking, dearest," she said softly, as she shyly looked up into the great passionate eyes bent so lovingly upon hers. that when we were finally settled down and married, how much I could save you in neckties." Half an hour later there might have been seen walking swiftly through the almost deserted streets of the great metropolis a man who muttered strangely to himself as he paused underneath a friendly lamp-post to gaze at a glittering object that he held in his hand. "It's all right," he whispered hoarsely to himself, "That's the same ring."-Cloak Review. NATIVE: Well, Uncle Jerry! They tell me you are trying to get the nomination for justice of the peace; is that so? kind? UNCLE JERRY: Hit's jes' like dey say, sah! Ise got a mighty loud eatchin' er dat sort. NATIVE: Don't say so? But what preparation have you had for a position of that UNCLE JERRY: De ve'y best, sah! Ise been in de calerboose fo' times. Dat gimme de insides er de law-a kinder speunce dat a man kyant larn in de books. Hit sartify me me 'bout de way jestice done feel, an' lemme tell yo', a jedge mighty like a doctor-when he tas'e,he own metersine he know better wha' kin'er dose ter gib "-Boston Courier. JASPER: Why did the Rev. Dr. Poundtext come East? JUMPUPPE: He was chased out of the West for teaching the golden rule in a silver State.-New York Herald. HANOVER SQUARE, LONDON, W. WHITING PAPER COMPANY, 148, 150 & 152 Duane St. GRAND RAPIDS, MICH. Hunters' Cabins, Club Houses, Summer Cottages, Photograph Galleries, Absolutely portable. All sizes and designs. Especially designed for Camping, Hunting, NORMAN BARBOUR, Eastern Agent, 77 Warren Street, New York. Only $1.00 a Year. POSTAGE PAID. Fun for 40 Minutes and Information for a Month GO WITH EVERY COPY OF Life's Monthly Calendar. It tells you everything, and more, too. Rich and Poor may have it now, Copious Reading Matter and Profuse Illustrations. LEADING ENGLISH PERFUME CRAB SAPPIE BLOSSOMS Perfumes Grand Union Hotel, Saratoga Springs. OPEN FOR THIS SEASON. For terms and illustrated circular, address WOOLLEY & GERRANS, PROPRIETORS. Adirondack Mountains, The Celebrated CHOCOLAT Annual Sales Exceed 33 MILLION Lbs. Lakes George and Champlain, THE LOUISBURG, Saratoga, Etc. Illustrated guide to the Northern resorts, issued by the BAR HARBOR, ME. Open July 1. Renowned for its superior table and at Delaware & Hudson Railroad, will be mailed on receipt TUPPER LAKE HOUSE, of 6 cents postage. Address, J. W. BURDICK, General Passenger Agent, ALBANY, N. Y. HOTEL VENDOME, BOSTON. Unsurpassed by any hotel in the country for the beauty of its surroundings, the excellence of its accommodations and the high order of its patronage. Most desirable for families and tourists. C. H. Greenleaf & Co., Proprietors. WHITE MOUNTAINS, N. H. PROFILE HOUSE The largest of the leading first-class Summer For rooms, address, until June 15th, C. II. Greenleaf & Co., Hotel Vendome, Boston; later, Taft & Greenleaf, Profile House, N. H. Tupper Lake, Adirondack Mts., N. Y. LAKE VIEW HOUSE BOLTON-ON-LAKE-GEORGE, N. Y. Campobello Island. Famous Summer Resort off the Coast of Maine Opens July 1st. Magnificent scenery, giant cliffs, ma- ON HIS WAY TO STAG DINNER. Wife (who remembers former stag dinners): Hotel Champlain NOW, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU DRINK. "The Superb Summer Hotel of the North." Delaware & Hudson station in grounds. Husband: I'LL PROMISE TO REDUCE ALL MY DRINKS WITH MANITOU MINERAL WATER. Wife: THEN I CAN REST EASY WHILE YOU ARE AWAY, AND YOU'LL REST EASY TO-MORROW, INSTEAD OF HAVING ONE OF THOSE HEADACHES. Cheap, Strong LIFE BINDER. and Durable. WILL HOLD 26 NUMBERS. RIDING HABITS in all the latest styles and improvements. MODERATE PRICES Strictly Tailor-Made GOWNS, from $75.00 JACKETS, HABITS, 64 66 45.00 80.00 Perfect Fit Guaranteed. COMING TO AN UNDERSTANDING. Young Lady (to friend of family): SEE HERE, YOUNG MAN, I WANT TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU. LAST NIGHT, AT THE HOUSE, YOU TOOK ME ON YOUR LAP AND KISSED ME. ELEGANCE PARISIENNE. TIONS SERIOUS, OR WUZ YOU MERELY FLIRTIN' ? MADAME LEOTY'S CORSETS Hygienic. PERFECTLY MODELLED. These Celebrated Corsets are of the latest fashion, and are procurable in New York and the principal cities of U. S. A., from all the best Ladies' Outfitters, who are being supplied Photographic Outfits and Equipments E. & H. T. ANTHONY & CO., Photographic Instruments, Chemicals and Supplies, Detective and View Cameras in great variety, ALL THE LATEST NOVELTIES. Books of Instruction for the Amateur. School Outfits for the young beginner. Amateur Outfits from $7.50 upwards. Send for Illustrated Catalogue. 50 years established in this line of business. DIRECT FROM PARIS. or you have dandruff, or an itching or sore scalp, send WE HAND YOU A FRESH SCALP! If your hair is gone, or is falling out, or is thin and dry, $1.00 at once for a bottle of CAPILLIFORM, an infallible Hair Restorer and delightful Toilet Dressing. Columbia Chemical Co., 330 Washington Ave., Alleghany, Pa. A PRETTY girl from Kalamazoo, visiting friends in Detroit, met a young man the other evening at a reception. "Are you a resident of Detroit?" he asked, shortly after their meeting. "Oh, no," she said, "I'm from Kalamazoo." A peculiar smile flitted across his face; a smile of half-sympathy, half-suffering. "And you," she asked, quickly noting it, as women do," and you are from the other place?" He nodded. It was true. He was from Oshkosh.Detroit Free Press. MISTRESS: Did you post the letter? MISTRESS: Then why have you brought me back the fifteen centimos I gave you for the stamp? MAID: I slipped it in the box when they weren't looking.-Las Noticias. False Economy Is practiced by many people, who buy inferior articles of food because cheaper than standard goods. Surely infants are entitled to the best food obtainable. It is a fact that the Gail Borden "Eagle" Brand Condruggist keep it. Liebig Company's densed Milk is the best infant food. Your grocer and Extract of Beef Added to any Soup, Invaluable in Improved and Economic Cookery. FOR grandeur of natural scenery and perfection of relief from the discomforts of the hot weather, no other sea coast resort in America compares with magnificent Campobello. Here towering cliffs, mighty tides, green fields, blue skies, cool, fragrant, spicy woods, and fresh, invigorating air, the breath of which means a new lease of life, are the attractions offered at this beautiful resort, and the Tyn-Y-Coed Hotel, which opens July Ist, is one of the most thoroughly first-class summer hotels in every appointment that can be found. Fortunate are those who can spend the summer in such a delightful retreat. One or two of our matchless Scotch Cheviot Suits to order, $25; worth every bit of $35, and just the thing for mountains, seashores, or lakes. One to three pairs of our $5, $6 and $8 Trousers; worth nearly double in any establishment that keeps such styles. Our Tweed Top Coats, $18 to $25, to order, will be handy and pack easily without wrinkling. Riding Trousers, Corduroy or Windsor cord, $6 to $10. Evening Suits, the latest and best materials, to order, $30 to $60. Tennis and Boating outfits, white or fancy flannels, serges, blue, gray and drab colors, to order: Suits, $20 and $25. Trousers, $6 and $7. Youll be fashionably and suitably dressed if we make them, and at most reasonable prices. Garments made in one day if required. Garments expressed to any part of the United States. Chip A GOOD START. TO ALI "TAKING IT ALL IN." ALL MEN ¡E. COUDRAY'si BOUQUET CHOISI PERIVAS POR THE HANDERROND DELICIOUS SCENT.-LATEST CREATION GOLD BY ALL PRINCIPAL PERFUNER EQUAL TO ANY IMPORTED CIGAR. We prefer you should buy of your dealer; if he does not keep them, send $1 for sample box of 10, by mail, to JACOB STAHL, JR., & CO., 168th St. and 3rd Ave., N. Y. City |