LIFE'S FAIRY TALES.

THE FAIRY BISHOP.

NIGHTLEY HIGHTIME was a New England fairy

of Puritan descent who preferred the bustle and excitement of city life to the quieter pleasures of the country. The Golden City of Manhattan being the only settlement in America that offered a metropolitan existence it came about that he spent most of his time there. One afternoon, as he was floating aimlessly down Fifth Avenue, invisible to others, but seeing everything himself, he noticed two beautiful young ladies, who had picked up a kitten from a door-step. Each girl, after kissing the kitten and pressing it against her cheek, handed it to the other, who fondled it in a similar fashion. That must be fun," thought Nightley." Why shouldn't I be in it?" So he hurried on

ahead of the beautiful girls, and, alighting on a convenient doorstep, transformed himself into a most inviting kitten. Now, Nightley Hightime was a married fairy, and he should not have done this. But retribution was close upon him, for two small boys who were passing at that moment immediately tried to catch him, and failing in that set their dog upon him. As luck would have it there was no place to escape, and Nightley, without reflection, sped nervously up some steps, the dog in hot pursuit. His brain was even quicker than his legs, and he made a swift resolve. As he reached the upper step he suddenly faced about and turned himself into a bishop. The dog fell back, paralyzed with astonishment. The awe-stricken boys stood still for an instant, then turned and fled. At that moment the door was jerked open behind him and a gentleman cried: "Get away, you!" but stopped short when he saw the bishop.

"I-I beg your pardon," he stammered; "I thought I saw some boys and a dog chasing

"A kitten," said the bishop; "that was myself. Allow me to enter." The astonished gentleman followed him into the parlor. "You have saved my life,' said the bishop," at least that was your intention, and I desire to reward you. What is your dearest wish?"

Episcopal clergyman, and, as such, I am harried to death with visits and ceremonies. The women adore me and they bore me to the edge of madness. It's a pompous, wearisome, empty, sickening life."

"So I should suppose,' said the bishop; "but what career would you prefer?"

"I would prefer a career in which I might be equally impressive without my present cares."

"I see," said the bishop. "You want the fun without the work, which is only natural. Have you ever thought of any occupation that would satisfy your longings?"

"Yes," said the gentleman, with some embarrassment; "I have thought I should like to be a family coachman."

"That is asking more than you realize," replied the bishop. "You are probably laboring under the common delusion that a family coachman is mentally inferior to an Episcopal clergyman."

The gentleman seemed surprised.

"A family coachman," continued the bishop, "must possess in the first place at least as much tact, dignity and outward respectability. And, although you may not be prepared to hear this it requires a much higher order of intelligence to guide a pair of horses with ease and dignity through the busy thoroughfares of a crowded city than to gallop through the Episcopal service twice a week with no expression, to a fashionable audience-whose minds are upon other matters. As to your discourses, there are probably few men in your congregation who would care to exchange a good pair of horses for all the sermons you are likely to deliver." The gentleman seemed depressed. Bishop Hightime also assumed a despondent air and said:

"It might be mortifying to know the exact number of men in one's congregation who would rather exchange their parson than lose a trusted coachman. But cheer up," he added, "you saved my life and you shall have your wish." And he kept his promise.

As a driver, the gentleman made a bad mess of it in the beginning and began to realize the truth of the bishop's words. but he improved with practice and soon did very well.

Other preachers of course became envious of their brother's good fortune, and to this day it is not an unusual thing for Nightley Hightime to grant the same privilege to those

DISTANCE LENDS ENCHANTMENT.

clergymen whose intelligence and moral character make them worthy of the trust.

So, whenever you see a coachman whose intense respectability suggests a clerical origin, you will understand how it came about.

J

J. A. Mitchell.

That Freedom had been born.

If you've been cracked, why, so have we,
And yet we have no fear

That others when they seek, will find
The same old metal here.

But one has ever made us bow

Before her throne, and name
With trembling lips our heart's desire;
And she is just the same

As when, in Washington's good time,
Near every battle field
Young Cupid, with his tiny darts
Lay waiting, half concealed.
And so we laugh on July fourth

At kings and queens and knaves;
But we are still, oh, Yankee girl,
Thy humble, willing slaves.

Tom Masson.

ACKY (precocious): Ma, my Sunday-school teacher says every day is Sunday, in Heaven.

MAMMA: Yes; it is the place "where Sabbaths ne'er

break up," my son.

JACKY: How degraded the daily press must be there!

GEORGE: Whew! What can be the matter? Tele

gram says, "Come home, immediately."

GEORGE (rushing into his suburban home, one hour later): Tell me quick, my dear. What is it?

YOUNG WIFE: The baby said "Mama."