A LESSON IN LYING. ISHERMEN and other con FISH scienceless persons given to the vice of lying, may possibly gain improvement in their morals by seeing "The Grey Mare," at the Lyceum Theatre. The piece's value as a moral lesson is lessened by the fact that the liars come out all right in the end and incidentally have a lot of fun. John Maxwell, M. D., the principal (though at heart most inno cent) liar in the party gathered at his house, marries Miss Cayvan as usual, thereby clearing some other people who have acted as assistant liars and permitting the stage happiness to become general. In spots"The Grey Mare" is very funny and taken as a whole it is considerably above the average of the new pieces given to the New York public this season. The Lyceum Company's performance of "The Grey Mare," is very evenly balanced, no individual doing remarkably well or remarkably ill. In a stock company this is of course a commendable state of affairs, and in this case the company manages to bring out all there is in the piece. The stage setting both of "The Grey Mare" and of "White Roses," the pretty little curtain raiser which precedes it, is excellent. HE managers of the local theatres will probably THE make the largest individual financial contributions to the Actor's Fair this week. Who wants to go and see actors and actresses behind the barrier of the footlights when they may be seen at the fair in citizens' clothes and without the intervening obstacles? And at the fair if a theatre hat interferes with a man's view of a favorite actress, he can walk around it instead of being obliged to go out or to sit still and swear. The managers of the New York theatres have LIFE'S most respectful sympathy, but they have also the consciousness that their loss is in a good Metcalfe. cause. ON FIFTH AVENUE. "I SAY, DRIVER, I REALLY BELIEVE THERE IS SOMEBODY IN THE STAGE PLAYING ON CASTANETS." "CASTERNETS! THEM AIN'T NO CASTERNETS; THEM'S THER HORSES' RIBS A RATTLIN'." Chip A GOOD story is told of a very reverend and very dignified master of an English college. Although "the doctor" was a serious man, he was also a kindly one, and when a young man of his college fell ill, did all in his power to procure him good care and the best medical advice. Finally the invalid's sister arrived, and as she was young and inexperienced, the worthy doctor endeavored, by constant attention, to lighten her load of anxiety. She was most grateful, and confided to her betrothed, who was at a distance, her desire that only "the dear doctor," the master of the college, should perform their wedding ceremony. The student recovered, and was now to accompany his sister home, there to be nursed into vigor again. The doctor was present to say good-bye, and the young lady was full of gratitude. "Doctor," said she, grasping both his hands, "you have been so good to me!" "I have found great pleasure in your acquaintance," said the gentleman, in his most dignified and courteous manner. "That excellent antiseptic. Chronicle, Baltimore. Packer's "-Medical Tar Soap, "In which the well-known soothing and healing properties of Pine-tar are skillfully combined with Vegetable Oils and Glycerine."-Medical Times, New York. A luxury for Bath and Shampoo. Soothing and Refreshing. Destroys odors. Wards off Contagion. Lundborg's FAMOUS PERFUMES EDENIA AND Goya Lily. "You have done so much for me, but I am going to ask one more favor! Will yo promise to marry me?" The doctor, amiable as he was, dropped her hands and started back in horror. "My dear young lady," he stammered, I-I'm afraid we shouldn't get o together!"-Argonaut. It was her first essay at marketing, but she tackled the work with the beautiful hard hood of youth and inexperience. "Have you canvas-back ducks?" she inquired of the man in the stall. "Yes, miss and they are beauties, and mighty scarce at this time of the year. Ar I've got mallards and red-heads, too. 46 You may cut me off three quarters of a yard of the canvas-back," she said, in he clear, classic tones; "and cut it diagonally so that it will not ravel," and she looke about for the yardstick to see that he did not cheat her in measurement.- Detroit Fre Press. HOUSEHOLDER: I'm going to move to the suburbs next Monday, and I'd like you t do the job." MOVER: "How many loads?" "I don't know. You moved me once, you remember." "Yes." "I needed three wagons then to get through; but that was some years ago." Have you moved since ?" 46 "Yes, indeed, half a dozen times." "Hum! I guess one wagon will carry all you have left."-New York Weekly. THE late Mr. S. S. Cox used to shake his head when he spoke of his failure to obtai the Speakership. 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