SOME amusing examples of the value of musical criticism have been recently appearing in the New York Tribune. The erratic scribe who furnishes these outbursts is a hot admirer of Wagnerian music, which is praiseworthy, and to be respected. Unfortunately his mental outfit is such that his love for one class of music necessitates a corresponding horror of any other. The bare announcement that French and Italian opera was to be given threw this impartial critic into a transport of hysterical fury, and since the opera is actually here his intellect has completely succumbed. The quivering remains of the slaughtered singers at the Metropolitan are served up in the columns of the Tribune with the sharpest sauce this excitable citizen can invent. Compared with these outpourings the utterances of the infuriated Simian, whose caudal appendage has been bitten by a hated rival, are models of dignity and forbearance. Consequently the Tribune is of inestimable value to the student who wishes to discover the relative merits of the different schools. IN * the meantime the season at the Metropolitan Opera House goes on merrily and musically. There is much less talking in the boxes than of yore, a fairly reliable sign that this section of the audiences is more interested in the performances than under the Wagner régime. LIFE never had a lofty opinion of either the intelligence or good taste of the box-talkers, but on the principle that real "music hath power to sooth the savage breast," it is fair to argue that the Franco-Italian combination is giving us something more closely resembling music than the German outfit did. Traveler: SAY, MY FRIEND, THERE'S NO MEAT IN THIS SANDWICH. Waitress: No? Traveler: DON'T YOU THINK YOU'D BETTER GIVE THAT PACK ANOTHER SHUFFLE AND LET ME DRAW AGAIN? JAN. 7, 1861. MAN KILLED BY A LION AT ASTLEY'S, LONDON. JAN. 8, 1864. BIRTH OF PRINCE ALBERT VICTOR OF WALES. IN NO HURRY. Mrs. O'F.: CAN I HAVE MY HUSBAND PUT IN JAIL FER SLAPPING ME IN THE MOUTH? Magistrate: CERTAINLY; THAT IS ASSAULT AND BATTERY. "WELL, I'LL COME AROUND IN ABOUT A MONTH AND MAKE THE CHARGE." "WHY NOT HAVE HIM ARRESTED AT ONCE?" "WELL, YOU SEE, WHEN HE SLAPPED ME I HIT HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A ROLLIN' PIN, AND HE'S NOW IN THE HOSPITAL, AND THE DOCTORS SAYS HE WON'T BE ABLE TO GET OUT FOR A MONTH, YET." JAN. 9, 1854. ASTOR LIBRARY OPENED. WHEATENA Postage, 36 Cents. EXTRA As a boy in the rude village school at Salisbury, N. H., Daniel Webster was not free from small pranks and mischiefs. Once he was called up by the master to be feruled. "Hold out your hand!" was the command, and cut went the right hand. "Dan," exclaimed the master, in a reproving tone, looking at the dirty little paw, "if you show me a dirtier hand than that in all this school, I'll let you off." Immediately Webster thrust out the other hand. The school-master was stumped. But he was as good as his word; he let the boy off. -Argonaut. IT is said of a certain literary woman that she is never at loss for a reply, and never misses an opportunity to say a bright thing. One day, a friend was describing to her a noted artist, about whom her curiosity had been greatly aroused, but whom she had never seen. "To begin with," said her friend, he has a perfect Niagara of a forehead!" "What?" said the other; "do you mean to tell me the poor man has a cataract over both eyes?"-The Memoirs of Cheiropodus. GENERAL SAM HOUSTON, of Texas, was not in favor of secession. His adored son and namesake declared for secession and adopted the secession rosette. Wearing the rosette upon his breast one day in his father's office, the father asked if he had not placed it in the wrong spot. "Where should I wear it, father," asked the boy, if not on my heart?" "I think, Sammy," said the grieved father," it would be more appropriate to wear it inside your coat-tail.”—Argonaut. QUALITY An Attractive Christmas Gift. FREE Health Food Offices Everywhere Head Office,61 5th Ave., New York. N. E. Office, 199 Tremont St., Boszon. Philadelphia Office, 632 Arch St. Western Office, 1601 Wabash Ave., Chicago. No one can legally use the term HEALTH FOOD except ourselves and our authorized Agents. Unscrupulous imitators should be discountenanced. ESTABLISHED 1861. BUDD· WEDDING OUTFITS FOR GENTLEMEN. DRESS SHIRTS, GLOVES, TIES, SCARFS, &C. DUNLAP & COPYRIGHTED. CELEBRATED HATS, -AND Iadies' Round Hats and Bonnets and The Dunlap Silk Umbrella. Palmer House, Chicago. 914 Chestnut St., Phila. 18th Edition, postpaid for 25c. (or stamps.) Our Amateur Circus Colored Plates By H. W. McVICKAR. New Edition now Ready. A book at which everybody will laugh, and the beauty of whose production everybody will admire.—N. Y. Sun. PUBLISHED BY HARPER & BROTHERS. New York. Correct & Exclusive Styles. Use Armour's Extract of Beef and boiling water; add salt, pepper and a thin Of hospitality is to offer your evening guests a cup of Bouillon before leaving. "WORTH A GUINEA A BOX." From Fame, a London newspaper. Mr. S, a chemist of Liverpool, received a bill for the amount of 28s. from Thomas Beecham, St. Helens. Mr. S being at the time in pecuniary difficulties, pondered for a considerable time how to meet the demand. At last a bright idea flashed across his mind, and he said, joyfully: "Yes, I will send Beecham a box of his own pills-he says himself they are worth a guinea a box-and seven shillings in cash." This he did. In the course of a few days great was the surprise of Mr. S to find that Beecham had forwarded the receipt attached to which were the words, "Cash only in future. Thomas Beecham." In the United States Beecham's Pills are also advertised as universally acknowledged to be "worth a guinea a box "--but that they are for sale by all druggists at 25 cents. Beecham evidently thinks it best to hedge against such bright fellows as the Liverpool druggist turning up on this side of the water. THE WORLD'S GREATEST PAS- How Passengers View the Penn- One of the greatest revelations to foreigners when journeying through this country is the luxurious method of traveling enjoyed by Americans. They are staggered with the "Pennsylvania Limited" and the conveniences afforded by this greatest passenger train of the world. A uniformed maid is always on this train ready to do service to ladies and children, and the observation car is the sanctum for lounging and comfort. Men revel in the cosiest of smoking and library cars, with daily and periodical literature before them, and bulletined as wired to the train the stock and business movements of the hour, while a stenographer and type-writer, whose services are entirely free, is at a desk close by to receive, transcribe, and dispatch letters and telegrams at their bidding. These letters may be mailed in a United States mail box on the train provided for the use of passengers. The bath and barber apartments are the greatest of coveniences. It is no wonder this luxurious mode of traveling has made the Pennsylvania Limited" famous and is such a revelation to our English cousins. This train leaves New York, foot of Cortlandt and Desbrosses Streets, daily at 10.00 A. M., Philadelphia 12.20 noon, for Chicago, Cincinnati, and the West. PISO'S CURE FOP This elephant was in such a hurry to get a copy of the new book, TIDDLEDY WINK TALES," by John Kendrick Bangs, that he could not wait to pack his trunk, but put a dollar and a quarter in his valise and started off for The DeWitt Publishing House, 33 Rose Street, New York City. |