He: WHY DOESN'T THAT ENGLISH GIRL COME ON DECK, AND BE WOOED BY THE BREEZES, TOO? She: HER MOTHER WON'T LET HER. SHE HEARD THE CAPTAIN SAY THIS WAS A trade WIND. ANSWER TO CORRESPONDENTS. DEMOCRAT: No. Mr. Percival's book, "Adventures Among the Hill Tribes," has nothing to do with the present political situation in New York State. TWENTY GIRLS, PHILADELPHIA: We thank you for your appreciation of our efforts in behalf of the horse. Your affection for LIFE is reciprocated twenty-fold. MEPHISTOPHELES: No. We have recovered from the grip. See you later. AMBITIOUS: Address him care of his publishers. He has reduced the number from four hundred to one hundred and fifty. He will make his rates known on application. R. B. H.: Of course you can't help your asininity. The fact that you are closely related to the Administration doesn't justify your making it conspicuous, though. Lucretia (on the right): HE SAID YOU WUZ A CHUMP, AND A DECEIVER, AN' THAT YOU NEVER INTENDED TO MARRY ME. MAKE HIM SWOLLER HIS WORDS, JIMMY, MAKE HIM SWOLLER HIS WORDS! PAVT SCISSORS AVT NULLUS "Now, see here, porter," said he briskly, "I want you to put me oft at Syracuse. You know we get in there about six o'clock in the morning, and I may oversleep myself. But it is important that I should get out. Here's a $5 gold piece. Now I may wake up hard, for I have been dining to-night and will probably feel rocky. Don't mind if I kick. Pay no attention if I'm ugly. I want you to put me off at Syracuse." "Yes, sah," answered the sturdy Nubian, ramming the bright coin into his trousers pocket. "It shall be did, sah!" The next morning the coin-giver was awakened by a stentorian voice calling: "Rochester! Thirty minutes for refreshments!" "Rochester!" he exclaimed, sitting up. "Where is that coon ?" Hastily slipping on his trousers, he went in search of the object of his wrath and found him in the porter's closet huddled up with his head in a bandage, his clothes torn, and his arm in a sling. Chapping, Chafing, Dandruff, Odors from Perspiration. Speedy Relief by Using Packer's Tar Soap. "It Soothes while it Cleanses." Medical and Surg. Reporter, Phila. Lundborg's FAMOUS PERFUMES EDENIA AND Goya Lily. "Well," says the drummer, "you are a sight. Been in an accident? Why didn't you put me off at Syracuse?" "Wha-at!" ejaculated the porter, jumping to his feet, as his eyes bulged from his head. "Was you de gemman what guf ter me a five dollah gold piece?" "Of course I was, you idiot!" "Well, den, befoah de Lawd, who was dat gemman I put off at Syracuse!"-Clothier and Furnisher. HORACE GREELEY, in his "Recollections of a Busy Life," tells the following story: "A gushing youth once wrote to this effect: "Dear Sir-Among your literary treasures you have doubtless preserved several autographs of our country's late lamented poet, Edgar Allan Poe. If so, and you can spare one, please enclose it to me, and receive the thanks of yours truly, "I promptly responded as follows: "Dear Sir,-Among my literary treasures there happens to be exactly one autograph of our country's late lamented poet, Edgar Allan Poe. It is a note of hand for fifty dollars, with my endorsement across the back. It cost me exactly fifty dollars seventy-five cents, including protest, and you may have it for half that amount.-Yours respectfully, 'HORACE GREELEY.' That autograph, I regret to say, remains in my hands, and it is still for sale at the original price." HOLLANDERS 290 FIFTH AVENUE. WE are now prepared to take orders for LADIES' DRESSES FROM ALL THE New Spring and Summer Materials in Novelty Woolens, Figured India Silks, Challies, the new changeable effects in figured Surahs. Also the new Cotton Cords, Cotton Crepes and Ginghams. OUR PRICES until March 1st will be considerably less than after that date. CHEAP, SELF BINDER STRONG and DURABLE. WILL HOLD 26 NUMBERS. Mailed to any part of the United States for $1.00, postage free. Address office of "LIFE," 28 West 23d Street, New York. HAWKEYE The LEADING all-around Camera Uses regular Dry Plates which are sold everywhere, or Trans parent Film for 25 to 100 Pictures without reloading. Prices $15 to $50. WE DEVELOP AND FINISH THE PICTURES WHEN DESIRED. KAMARET, THE BLAIR CAMERA CO., Boston, Mass., also makers of the and other Photographic Apparatus. Branches: 208 State St., Chicago. 918 Arch St., Phila. Send for the Hawk-Eye Booklet. It will pay you if you have any money to invest either large or small sums, to send Investment vs. Speculation. for pamphlet "Investment vs. Speculation." Free to any one mentioning this paper. "Dividend Paying Investments." -Taylor & Rathvon, Boston, New York or Denver. Charles Hauptner, Haberdasher. Hosiery. I have gentlemen's hose for six dollars a pair, a dollar between. If you want them for any purpose-even- 1280 Broadway, New York City. NO MORE Krakauer, Ladies' Tailor, 391 5th Ave., NEW YORK. London. Newport. SPRING, '92. All the latest cloths and styles now on hand. Moderate prices. Strictly tailor made 45.00 80.00 Perfect Fit Guaranteed. 391 5th Ave. FLORIDA. HOTEL SAN MARCO. St. Augustine, Fla. Located on NATURAL GROUND just outside the city gates with extended ocean view. For particulars, address AINSLIE & WEBSTER, Managers, ST. AUGUSTINE, FLA. Also Managers of Maplewood Hotel, White Mts., N. H. RHEUMATISM OR NEURALGIA.E. COUDRAY. Absolute rest and perfect health obtained by sleeping on our ELECTRIC AIR MATTRESS. Fit any bed. Endorsed by physicians. Adopted in hospitals. Álleviates fever and heals bed-sores. Send for testimonials and price list. Agents wanted everywhere. Address METROPOLITAN AIR GOODS CO., 299 DEVONSHIRE STREET, PISOS CURE FOR BOSTON. 25 CTS. BOUQUET PERFUAE FOR THE HANDKERSI DELICIOUS SCENT.-LATEST CREATION of 2. COUDBAY in PARIS SOLD BY ALL PRINCIPAL PERFUMEN, |