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" my confcience, tho' I have no wife, if you had treated her fo, I would have cut your throat."

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Jones was fo confounded with his fears for his Lady's reputation, that he knew neither what to fay or do; but the invention of women is, as has been obferved, much readier than that of men. She recollected that there was a communication between her chamber and that of Mr. Jones; relying, therefore, on his honor and her own affurance, she answered, "I know not what you mean, villains! I am wife to none of you. Help! rape! murder! ,, rape!" And now the landlady coming into the room, Mrs. Waters fell upon her with the utmost virulence, faying, "She thought herself in a fober inn, and not in a bawdy-house; but that a fet of villains had broke into her room, with ,, an intent upon her honor, if not upon her life; and both, she said, were equally dear to her."

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The landlady now began to roar as loudly as the poor woman in bed had done before. She cry'd, "She was undone, and that the reputation

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of her house, which was never blown upon ,, before, was utterly deftroyed." Then turning to the men, fhe cry'd, "what, in the devil's » name, is the reafon of all this disturbance in the » Lady's room?" Fitzpatrick, hanging down his head, repeated, "that he had committed a mistake,

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for which he heartily asked pardon," and then retired with his countryman. Jones, who was too ingenious to have miffed the hint given him by

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his fair-one, boldly afferted, "that he had run to her affiftance upon hearing the door broke open; " with what defign he could not conceive, unless of robbing the Lady; which if they intended, he faid, he had had the good fortune to prevent.' I never had a robbery committed in my house fince I have kept it," cries the landlady: "I wou'd have you to know, Sir, I harbour no highwaymen here; I fcorn the word, thof I fay it. None but honeft, good gentlefolks, are welcome to my houfe; and, I thank good luck, I ,, have always had enow of fuch customers; indeed as many as I could entertain. Here has been my Lord" and then fhe repeated over a catalogue of names and titles, many of which we might perhaps, be guilty of a breach of privilege by inferting.

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Jones, after much patience, at length interrupted her, by making an apology to Mrs. Waters, for having appeared before her in his shirt, affuring her, "that nothing but a concern for her fafety

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could have prevailed on him to do it." The Reader may inform himself of her anfwer, and, indeed, of her whole behaviour to the end of the fcene, by confidering the fituation which fhe affected, it being that of a modest Lady, who was awakened out of her fleep by three strange men in her chamber. This was the part which fhe undertook to perform; and, indeed, fhe executed it fo well, that none of our theatrical actreffes could exceed. her, in any of their performances, either on or off the stage.

And hence, I think, we may very fairly draw an argument, to prove how extremely natural virtue is to the fair fex: for tho' there is not, per. haps, one in ten thousand who is capable of making a good actress; and even among these we rarely fee two who are equally able to perfonate the fame character; yet this of virtue they can all admirably well put on; and as well thofe individuals who have it not, as those who poffefs it, can all act it to the utmost degree of perfection.

When the men were all departed, Mrs. Waters recovering from her fear, recovered likewife from her anger, and spoke in much gentler accents to the landlady, who did not fo readily quit her concern for the reputation of her house, in favor of which she began again to number the many great perfons who had flept under her roof; but the Lady ftopt her fhort, and having abfolutely acquitted her of having had any share in the past disturbance, begged to be left to her repofe, which, she said, fhe hoped to enjoy unmolested during the remainder of the night. Upon which the landlady, after much civility and many courtefies, took her leave.

CHA P. I I I.

A Dialogue between the Landlady and Sufan the Chambermaid, proper to be read by all Inn - keepers and their Servants; with the Arrival and affable Behaviour of a beautiful young Lady; which may teach Perfons of Condition how they may acquire the Love of the whole World.

THE landlady remembering that Sufan had

been the only perfon out of bed when the door was burft open, reforted prefently to her, to inquire into the first occafion of the disturbance, as well as who the strange gentleman was, and when and how he arrived.

Sufan related the whole ftory which the Reader knows already, varying the truth only in fome circumftances, as fhe faw convenient, and totally concealing the money which fhe had received. But whereas her Mistress had in the preface to her inquiry spoken much in compaffion for the fright which the Lady had been in, concerning any intended depredations on her virtue, Sufan could not help endeavouring to quiet the concern which her Miftrefs feemed to be under on that account, by fwearing heartily fhe faw Jones leap out from her bed.

The landlady fell into a violent rage at these words. "A likely story truly," cried fhe, "that a woman should cry out, and endeavour to expofe herself, if that was the cafe! I defire to

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know what better proof any Lady can give of her virtue than her crying out, which, I believe, » twenty people can witnefs for her she did? I beg, Madam, you would fpread no fuch fcandal of ,, any of my guests: for it will not only reflect on ,, them, but upon the house; and I am fure no vagabonds, nor wicked beggarly people come here.

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Well," fays Sufan, "then I must not believe "No, indeed, muft you not » my own eyes. always," anfwered her Mistress; "I would not have believed my own eyes against fuch good ,, gentlefolks. I have not had a better fupper ordered this half year than they ordered last night; and fo eafy and good-humored were they, that they found no fault with my Worcestershire perry, which I fold them for Champagne; and to be fure it is as well tafted, and as wholesome as the

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best Champagne in the kingdom, otherwise I would fcorn to give it 'em, and they drank me two bottles. No, no, I will never believe harm of fuch fober good fort of people."

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Sufan being thus filenced, her Mistress proceeded to other matters. "And fo you tell me, tell me," continued she, "that the ftrange gentleman came post, and there is a footman without with the horses; why ,, then, he is certainly fome of your great gentlefolks too. Why did not you afk him whether he'd have any fupper? I think he is in the other gentleman's room; go up and afk whether he called. Perhaps he'll order fomething when he

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