that ten measures thereof are sold for an hundred talents of silver. Thinkest thou that they will exchange them for thy slaves and thine asses? What would thy prize profit any who have vineyards in rich soils?" mission to resign the office of deciding | Thou knowest Ascobaruch who hath between such detestable potions. the great vineyards in the north, and "In the name of Belus, how can Cohahiroth who sendeth wine every this have happened?" said the king. year from the south over the Persian Merolchazzar, the high-priest, mut-gulf. Their wines are so delicious tered something about the anger of the Gods at the toleration shown to a sect of impious heretics who ate pigeons broiled, "whereas," said he, "our religion commands us to eat them roasted. Now therefore, O King," continued this respectable divine, "give command to thy men of war, and let them smite the disobedient people with the sword, them, and their wives, and their children, and let their houses, and their flocks, and their herds, be given to thy servants the priests. Then shall the land yield its increase, and the fruits of the earth shall be no more blasted by the vengeance of heaven." ven. "Who then," said one of the judges, "are the wretches who sent us this poison? "Blame them not," said the sage, "seeing that you have been the authors of the evil. They are men whose lands are poor, and have never yielded them any returns equal to the prizes which the king proposed. Wherefore, knowing that the lords of the fruitful vineyards would not enter into competition with them, they planted vines, some on rocks, and some in light sandy soil, and some in deep clay. Hence their wines are bad. For no culture or reward will make barren land bear good vines. Know therefore, assuredly, that your prizes have increased the quantity of bad but not of good wine." The season has been singularly good. The wine which thou didst thyself drink at the banquet a few nights ago, oh venerable Merolchazzar, was of this year's vintage. Dost thou not remember how thou didst praise it? It was the same night that thou There was a long silence. At length wast inspired by Belus and didst reel the king spoke. "Give him the purple to and fro, and discourse sacred mys-robe and the chain of gold. Throw the teries. These things are too hard for wines into the Euphrates; and prome. I comprehend them not. The claim that the Royal Society of Wines only wine which is bad is that which is dissolved." is sent to my judges. Who can expound this to us?" The king scratched his head. Upon which all the courtiers scratched their heads. He then ordered proclamation to be made, that a purple robe and a golden chain should be given to the man who could solve this difficulty. "ATHENIAN SCENES FROM REVELS." (JANUARY 1824.) A DRAMA. I. SCENE-A Street in Athens. Enter CALLIDEMUS and SPEUSIPPUS. CALLIDEMUS. An old philosopher, who had been observed to smile rather disdainfully So, you young reprobate! You must when the prize had first been insti- be a man of wit, forsooth, and a man tuted, came forward and spoke thus:- of quality! You must spend as if you "Gomer Chephoraod, live for ever! were as rich as Nicias, and prate as if Marvel not at that which has hap-you were as wise as Pericles! You pened. It was no miracle, but a must dangle after sophists and pretty natural event. How could it be other-women! And I must pay for all! I wise? It is true that much good wine must sup on thyme and onions, while has been made this year. But who you are swallowing thrushes and hares! would send it in for thy rewards? I must drink water, that you may play CALLIDEMUS. Socrates! what! the ragged flatnosed old dotard, who walks about all day barefoot, and filches cloaks, and dissects gnats, and shoes* fleas with wax? the cottabus* with Chian wine! I SPEUSIPPUS. Why, thou unreasonable old man! Thou most shameless of fathers! CALLIDEMUS. All fiction! SPEUSIPPUS. All trumped up by CALLIDEMUS. By Pallas, if he is in the habit of putting shoes on his fleas, he is kinder to them than to himself. But listen to me, boy; if you go on in this way, you will be ruined. There is an argument for you. Go to your Socrates and your Melesigenes, and tell them to Ungrateful wretch; dare you talk so? Are you not afraid of the thun-refute that. Ruined! Do you hear? ders of Jupiter? SPEUSIPPUS, CALLIDEMUS. Ay, by Jupiter! Is such a show as you make to be supported on nothing? During all the last war, I made not an He does! Would that it had fallen obol from my farm; the Peloponnesian on his head for his pains! locusts came almost as regularly as the Pleiades;-corn burnt;-olives stripped;-fruit trees cut down ;--wells stopped up; and, just when peace came, and I hoped that all would turn if you had all the mines of Thasus at out well, you must begin to spend as command. SPEUSIPPUS. Now, by Neptune, who delights in horses CALLIDEMUS. If Neptune delights in horses, he does not resemble me. You must ride Do I know that you are my father? Let us take the question to pieces, as Melesigenes would say. First, then, we must inquire what is knowledge? Se-at the Panathenæa on a horse fit for condly, what is a father? Now, know- the great king: four acres of my best ledge, as Socrates said the other day vines went for that folly. You must to Theætetus, Tretrench, or you will have nothing to eat. Does not Anaxagoras mention, among his other discoveries, that when a man has nothing to eat he dies? *This game consisted in projecting wine out of cups; it was a diversion extremely fashionable at Athenian entertainments. Pauson was an Athenian painter, whose name was synonymous with beggary. See Aristophanes; Plutus, 602. From his poverty, I am inclined to suppose that he painted historical pictures. See Aristophanes; Plutus, 542. § See Theocritus; Idyllii. 128. SPEUSIPPUS. You are deceived. My friends CALLIDEMUS. Oh, yes! your friends will notice This was the most disreputable part of you, doubtless, when you are squeezing Athens. See Aristophanes; Pax, 165. See Plato's Theætetus. *See Aristophanes; Nubes, 150. through the crowd, on a winter's day, I to the eyes in his own tan-pickle. But to warm yourself at the fire of the the Paphlagonian had parts. CALLIDEMUS. Το sider the extent of its power, the wisdom of its laws, the elegance of its decora- Oh Hercules! Oh Bacchus! This is tions;-when I consider by what names too much. Here is an universal and by what exploits its annals are genius; sophist,-orator,—poet. adorned;-when I think on Harmo- what a three-headed monster have I dius and Aristogiton, on Themistocles given birth! a perfect Cerberus of and Miltiades, on Cimon and Pericles; intellect! And pray what may your —when I contemplate our pre-eminence piece be about? Or will your tragedy, in arts and letters;-when I observe like your speech, serve equally for any so many flourishing states and islands subject? compelled to own the dominion, and purchase the protection, of the City of the Violet Crown-"* SPEUSIPPUS. I thought of several plots;-Edipus, Eteocles and Polynices, the war of Troy,-the murder of Aga memnon. CALLIDEMUS. And what have you chosen? SPEUSIPPUS. You know there is a law which permits any modern poet to retouch a play of Eschylus, and bring it forward as an absurd prejudice, among the vulgar, his own composition. And, as there is in favour of his extravagant pieces, I have selected one of them, and altered it. CALLIDEMUS. Which of them? SPEUSIPPUS. Oh! that mass of barbarous absurdities, the Prometheus. But I have framed it anew upon the model of Euripides. By Bacchus, I shall make Sophocles and Agathon look about them. You would not know the play again. CALLIDEMUS. By Jupiter, I believe not. SPEUSIPPUS. I have omitted the whole of the absurd dialogue between Vulcan and Strength, at the beginning. CALLIDEMUS. That may be, on the whole, an improvement. The play will then open with that grand soliloquy of Prometheus, when he is chained to the rock. "Oh! ye eternal heavens! Ye rushing winds! Ye fountains of great streams! Ye ocean waves, That in ten thousand sparkling dimples Your azure smiles! All-generating earth! *See Eschylus; Prometheus, 88. Well, I allow that will be striking; I| Phrynichus, and lived with Æschylus. did not think you capable of that idea. I saw the representation of the PerWhy do you laugh? sians. SPEUSIPPUS. Do you seriously suppose that one who has studied the plays of that great man, Euripides, would ever begin a tragedy in such a ranting style? CALLIDEMUS. What, does not your play open with the speech of Prometheus? SPEUSIPPUS. No doubt. CALLIDEMUS. SPEUSIPPUS. A wretched play; it may amuse the fools who row the triremes; but it is utterly unworthy to be read by any man of taste. CALLIDEMUS. If you had seen it acted ;-the whole theatre frantic with joy, stamping, shouting, laughing, crying. There was Cynægeirus, the brother of Eschylus, who lost both his arms at Marathon, beating the stumps against his sides with rapture. When the crowd reare you Then what, in the name of Bacchus, marked him-But where do you make him say? SPEUSIPPUS. You shall hear; and, if it be not in the very style of Euripides, call me a fool. CALLIDEMUS. That is a liberty which I shall venture to take, whether it be or no. But go on. SPEUSIPPUS. Prometheus begins thus: CALLIDEMUS. Very beautiful, and very natural; and, as you say, very like Euripides. SPEUSIPPUS. You are sneering. Really, father, you do not understand these things. You had not those advantages in your youth CALLIDEMUS. Which I have been fool enough to let you have. No; in my early days, lying had not been dignified into a science, nor politics degraded into a trade. I wrestled, and read Homer's battles, instead of dressing my hair, and reciting lectures in verse out of Euripides. But I have some notion of what a play should be; I have seen |