CHAPTER IV.

GENERAL DUTIES OF A WIFE, CONTINUED.—

DISCRETION.

WOMEN have been satirized for the inordinate curiosity with which they seek and strive to get possession of a secret, and then for their irresistible propensity to divulge it. Such censures, indiscriminately applied, are most unjust. There are thousands of women, who, with refined delicacy that would shrink from anything like prying into secrets or extorting unwilling confidence, possess a quickness of penetration and a soundness of judgment, combined with such inviolable prudence and fidelity, as render them the safest and most valuable counsellors to whom their husbands could resort. There are husbands who have said, "The bosom of a discreet and faithful wife is the safest repository for all the secrets, perplexities, and griefs of her husband. Whatever he there deposits is inviolably secure; and when he has occasion again to call it out, it comes forth purified from its original rashness, indiscretion, and bitterness.”—“Since I entered on the married life, I have invariably observed, that those steps which were erroneous in their course, and disastrous in their results, were such as I took without consulting my wife, or in opposition to her counsel."

"Women," says Mr. James, "are not usually very conversant with matters of trade, but still their counsel may be sought in a thousand cases with propriety and advantage. The husband should never undertake anything of importance without communicating the matter to his wife, who, on her part, instead of shrinking from the responsibility of a counsellor, and leaving him to struggle alone with his difficulties and perplexities, should invite him to communicate freely all his anxieties; for if she cannot counsel, she can comfort; if she cannot relieve his cares, she can help to bear them; if she cannot direct the course of his trade, she may the current of his feelings; if she cannot open any source of earthly wisdom, she can spread the matter before the Father and Fountain of lights. Many men, under the idea of delicacy to their wives, keep all their difficulties to themselves, which only prepares them to feel the stroke the heavier when it does come."

It is obvious, then, that the wife who aims at conjugal excellence, should endeavour so to enlarge her mind and inform her judgment, by knowledge and observation, and, at the same time, so to regulate and bridle her tongue with holy wisdom and discretion, that it shall know when and what to speak, and when to be silent. Thus will she be qualified to become the judicious and faithful counsellor and confidant of her husband, and "his heart may safely trust in her."

Discretion in general is an indispensable part of the duty which a woman owes to her husband; and is so essential an element in conjugal excellence, that it seems almost as natural to speak of

"a discreet matron," as of "a beautiful girl;" but, alas, there are many instances in which the epithet could not be justly applied. A female is not always or necessarily possessed of discretion because she is a matron, or because she is a married woman, any more than another is necessarily beautiful because she is a girl. If it were of as

little moment, in the one case, whether she were silly or discreet, as in the other, whether her eyes were black or blue, or her hair auburn or flaxen, discretion would not have found a place in these pages in the list of conjugal virtues; but its value in "promoting and upholding matrimonial happiness is inestimable. It is a quality which the Scriptures, as if foreboding the frequent neglect of it, and the miserable consequences of that neglect, have not overlooked. St. Paul, in his Epistle to Titus, after having directed that young women should be instructed to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,' enjoins further, that they should be taught 'to be discreet,' Tit. ii. 4, 5. Discretion is not one of those virtues which come into practice only in singular conjunctures, under circumstances which can happen seldom to the same individual, and to some persons may never occur at all. It is not a robe of state, to be drawn forth from its recess on some day of festivity; or a ponderous cloak, to be put on to repel the violence of a thunder shower. It is to the mind what the every-day clothing is to the body, requisite, under every vicissitude, to health, and propriety, and comfort. Its sphere embraces every season and every incident of life. At home and abroad, in the city and in the coun

try, with intimates and with strangers, in business and in leisure, it is vigilant, and active, and unwearied. It enhances the utility of virtue, and anticipates the allurements of sin. It attends to persons, and feelings, to times, occasions, and situations, and teaches to 'abstain from all appearance of evil,' 1 Thess. v. 22."

Among the minor virtues which tend to cement the bond of conjugal affection, the Christian female must not overlook that of personal neatness and self-respect. "Rely not," says Mr. Jay, "too much on the rights of relationship, however intimate the connexion may be, and however endeared it ought to be. In preserving and keeping alive attachment, you must not absolutely depend upon the impressions that awakened it. A woman is not to presume on the certainty of homage, regardless of an attention to her manners. She is not, as soon as she has stepped over the threshold of marriage, to drop the delicacy, the decencies, the engaging appearance, by which she has attracted her lover." "What attraction can there be in negligence, disorder, slatternliness? A disregard of propriety, and especially neatness of apparel, is, in a female, a fault that nothing can expiate. Even religion will not excuse it. There is a greater connexion between mental and outward purity than some are aware of. A female may be always judged of by her dress. The founders of Methodism were accustomed to say, that cleanliness was next to godliness. I have known a few exceptions to this in men—I never knew one in a woman."

Perhaps the idea has already been implied, in

the remarks on the preference that a wife should entertain for the society of her husband-but it had better be repeated, than omitted or not clearly expressed-that it is her duty to render herself conversable. When a man comes home, wearied with the labours and harassments of the day, he ought to find at home a comfortable fireside, and an intelligent and cheerful companion ready to receive and entertain him. That you may be well qualified to discharge this pleasing part of conjugal duty, it will be your wisdom to keep your attention alive through the day. Endeavour to inform your mind on subjects in which you know your husband takes an interest. In the course of your reading, mark a passage that you think will please him, or one that is not perfectly intelligible to yourself at first view, but on which you think he can give you information. Shun the real indolence and affected humility of saying, "Ah, it is all above my understanding. My husband is so learned; it is of no use for me to pretend to converse with him." The same exercise of attention, recollection, and energy, which enables a woman to run down that incessant string of tattle and nonsense, which is justly the abhorrence of a sensible man, well directed, would abundantly qualify her to join him in rational and improving conversation, at least as a humble learner; and, in that capacity, she would neither be contemptible, nor disgusting, nor uninteresting, in the eyes of a man of sense and benevolence. Most men of that character would esteem it an agreeable recreation from severer pursuits, playfully to impart the