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CHAPTER III.

IMPORTANCE OF FEMALE CHARACTER IN MARRIED LIFE GENERAL DUTIES OF A WIFE.

THE female head of a family occupies one of the most important stations in the community. To fill it well ought to be the conscientious desire of every one who enters upon it. Should her influence extend no further than her own immediate circle, it is a serious thing to think of the respectability, comfort, and happiness, even of a single family, as dependent on the conduct of an individual, and ought to awaken in her a most serious concern that her deportment may be suitable, and her influence beneficial in the highest possible degree. For the size of her circle she is not responsible: that, in all probability, is arranged independently of herself. But for filling well her circle she is responsible; and to do so will render her estimable and honourable, however limited her sphere. It is impossible, however, to calculate the influence of any individual; how widely it may extend, or how long it may be perpetuated. The happiness or misery of thousands yet unborn may originate in the conduct of some young wife and mother, whose child, raised by the

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IMPORTANCE OF FEMALE CHARACTER.

providence of God to circumstances of distinction and influence, may have been formed, by her instructions and example, to become the benefactor or the curse of society.

In proportion to the importance of the sphere in which we move, should be our concern to acquire capabilities, and improve opportunities for discharging our duties aright. We should be anxious to follow the example of those who have merited and acquired esteem; and we should act, not from mere impulse, but from settled principle; not in compliance with fashion and custom, but from an habitual sense of duty.

In entering on any new engagement there is a danger of erring, either by presumption or timidity. Rash self-confidence blunders on, asking no counsel and seeking no information; depriving itself of a thousand advantages which are open to the humble and teachable; and rendering itself ridiculous and contemptible more by conceit than by ignorance. Extreme timidity, on the other hand, discourages from making an effort to do well, as though the task were hopeless, and altogether beyond ability. This timidity is generally the companion of indolence; sometimes more immediately the consequence, sometimes the cause. It ought, however, to be stedfastly resisted, by the adoption and constant exercise of some such motto as this, "Whatever man has done, man may do." Let excellence be aimed at; yet let not the smallest degree of improvement be disregarded, or reckoned not worth attaining. Let the duties of every day be carefully examined: in prospect, to consider how they may best be discharged; and

in retrospect, to discover the causes of their imperfection or failure. On each succeeding day an effort will be made to correct the errors of its predecessor; and thus gradual improvement will be attained. The young person who sincerely makes the effort, however small her beginning, need not despair of ultimate excellence.

In entering on the detail of duties essential to conjugal excellence, those of a wife to her husband stand prominent, and claim the first consideration. And of these the first is affection-tender, cordial, undivided, abiding affection. Your affections have concentrated in one favoured individual; hence you have consented to become his wife. Now, it becomes your indispensable duty to love him, because he is your husband. You saw, or thought you saw, in him many excellences which attracted love. It will be your wisdom to dwell upon these excellences. Let not familiarity render you indifferent to them; nor let them be eclipsed, in your esteem, by the discovery of attendant imperfections, which, in your blind partiality, you overlooked, but which reason would have taught you to calculate upon. Since nothing can justify the alienation of your affections from your husband, nothing ought to be permitted to interrupt their exercise; you should dwell much in your meditation on the favourable parts of his character, and endeavour, in a great degree, to overlook such as you would wish otherwise. Endeavour to identify his excellences with the man himself, and to excuse his defects as something extraneous and transient; something in which, if you cannot and ought not entirely to overlook

them, you are to sympathize with, and assist him in removing, as you would the effects of accident or disease; still encouraging his efforts and your own with the hope of a complete cure. You would not love your husband the less tenderly because his visage was disfigured with small-pox; though you might and would feel, that he would be more agreeable to you when the disease and the disfigurement had passed away: nor should you love him less on account of moral defects, which you perceive, or think you perceive. Endeavour, by gentle influence, to lead to such a course of moral discipline as will be likely to eradicate the evil. Hail, with quiet delight, every indication of improvement; and cherish the pleasing hope that the day is not far distant, when new sources of attachment shall be opened to you, in the possession of a beloved friend, approaching nearer and nearer to perfection; to him, in the consciousness of being greatly indebted to you for his improvement.

Human nature is so full of imperfections, and an intimate acquaintance with the very best of men so generally brings to light defects in their character, of which, viewing them at a little distance, no previous suspicion had been entertained, that it seems necessary, in urging the duty of conjugal affection, to take into account the supposition, that such imperfections and faults, in a greater or less degree, do exist; and that love is to be maintained and cherished, notwithstanding all. In order to facilitate the exercise of this never-tiring affection, two considerations should be borne in mind: -Our own imperfections, as making large de

mands on the forbearance of others; and the example of our gracious God and Saviour, who sees in his people imperfections, yes, and sins, incomparably more heinous and provoking than any that the most intimate knowledge can enable us to discern in any fellow creature, and yet loves them to the end, John xiii. 1.

But love, in its exercise, is not confined to forbearance; it has other offices of a less mingled character. It dwells with complacency on the virtues of the beloved object; it delights in observing the estimation in which he is held by others; it is ever ready, in every legitimate and delicate way, to maintain and promote his respectability and honour; to suggest occasions, and means, and efforts of usefulness; and then delights in the usefulness and approbation with which those efforts are crowned. It completely identifies itself with its object, and participates in all that affects him, whether pleasingly or painfully. There is a complete oneness of spirit and interest, in which the tenderest solicitudes and the highest delights are centred. In his society is found the highest earthly enjoyment; and in the fulfilment of his wishes, and the advancement of his welfare, self is annihilated. May such, my dear young friend, be the constant character of your affection for your husband! Then will you possess one of the most powerful springs of energy, and the most efficient safeguards of fidelity and propriety in the discharge of every other duty.

Delight in your husband's society has already been alluded to as a natural attendant on, or rather exercise of, conjugal love. It will be your

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