May I be quickened. I have for also ready. some days given myself up to grief. appeared almost a blank. I could feel but little interest in any thing relating to this life. Blessed be God for some more comfortable feelings. Though it is not with me as in months past, I desire to trust in God, and wait upon him for the light of his countenance." The last record in her diary which has particular reference to her children, is the following beautiful and affecting prayer, under date, May 20, 1822, after the birth of her youngest daughter. "Enable me, O thou Spirit of all grace and mercy, to record the goodness of God, which has been so abundantly manifested towards me in the last week, in making me again the mother of a living and proper child. This season has been so distinguished with mercies, they have been so complicated and numerous, that I know not how to begin a recital of them. In the hour of danger, when the most appalling dread was upon me, my heavenly Father sweetly drew near me; removed my fears, comforted me with his presence; mitigated my pains in a surprising degree, and speedily put a song of praise in my mouth. How shall I make a suitable return? O thou, whose mercies have been so great, give thisgrace sufficient to enable me to live to thy praise. O how painful the thought of ever being ungrateful again! May this gift, O my God, which thou hast now bestowed, be a new bond of union between thee and my soul. Accept my thanks for this little immortal committed to my arms. Sanctify her by thy Spirit; purify her in that fountain which cleanseth from all sin; direct and enable me to bring her up better than I have done any one before. Accept my thanks for a dear, sympathizing, and faithful partner of my bosom. O that I might never deviate one step from the path of conjugal duty. Accept my thanks for all my other childrenobedient and attentive. May I be more faithful to them. Give me a new supply of love and patience. These are thy gifts. Accept my thanks for friends, sympathizing, tender and faithful, whom thou hast raised up for a poor, ungrateful stranger; and for a tender physician. These all are thy gifts, and not a thousandth part of what thou hast recently bestowed upon me. 'Thyself the crown! Without thee I am poor, give what thou wilt; The influence of such a mother's example, instructions and prayers, could not be otherwise than salutary on her children. Before her death she had the happiness of seeing four of them the professed followers of Christ. But as seven are yet living, and their eyes will read these pages, it may be unsuitable to pen further particulars. I would only repeat in their behalf the prayer which she fervently offered for them in her last sickness, That they may all, through the mercy of her covenant God, meet at the right hand of the Saviour, and she be permitted to present them to him, saying, Here, Lord, am I, and the children which thou hast given me. AMEN. CHAPTER V. TRIBUTE OF AFFECTION TO HER PARENTS AND ONLY BROTHER. It was a frequent prayer with Mrs. McFarland that she might perfora every duty to every rela tive in society. How faithfully and conscientiously she performed her duties as a WIFE and MOTHER, we have already seen. But she was also herself a daughter and a sister. Though her father died when she was a child, and she was much of the time separated from her brother, yet she honored the memory of the one, and dearly loved the other. But her widowed mother was to her an object of very tender affection. This excellent parent, for several years before her death, was the subject of deep mental depression. She lost her religious comfort and hope, and was filled at times with the most gloomy fears, both in regard to the present and future life. In consequence of her melancholy state of mind, Mrs. Kneeland closed her business in Boston, and came to Concord in June, 1809, where she remained in the family of Dr. McFarland till her death, in August following. The love, kindness, and assiduous attention which she received from her daughter, during this gloomy period, and the mingled grief and gratitude with which she was long after remembered, cannot fail to interest every reader. It may here be observed, that the providences of God towards his children often appear dark and mysterious. But in respect of temporal calamities, All things come alike to all. There is one event to the righteous and to the wicked. The loss of reason being often the result of causes over which we have no control, is in itself no more evidence against christian character than is a fever or a broken bone; but as it is a greater calamity than any which merely affects the body, it ought to excite in us a greater commiseration towards those who are deprived of it. The idea, which to some extent prevails, that God will never leave a true christian to die in a state of mental gloom, is neither authorized by general principles of scripture nor by particular facts. Blessed be his name, such cases do not often occur; but when they do, we must bow with submission to his sovereign will. The following references to her parents and brother exhibit pleasing traits in her character. HER FATHER. April 19, 1807. "This day is fifteen years since the death of my dear father. Do I remember his kindness and tenderness with gratitude and affection, and feel sincerely sorry for every instance of childish disobedience? How much greater cause have I for repentance towards God, who is the author of my being-who has ever supported me; in whom I' live and move.' How manifold are thy mercies towards me, O God! |