CHAP. VI.

From which it may be inferred, that the beft Things are liable to be misunderstood and mifinterpreted.

A

Violent Uproar now arofe in the Entry,

where my Landlady was well cuffing her Maid both with her Fift and Tongue. She had indeed miffed the Wench from her Employment, and, after a little Search, had found her on the Puppet-show Stage in Company with the Merry Andrew, and in a Situation not very proper to be defcribed.

6

Tho' Grace (for that was her Name) had forfeited all Title to Modefty; yet had fhe not Impudence enough to deny a Fact in which she was actually furprized; fhe therefore took another Turn, and attempted to mitigate the Offence. Why do you beat me in this manner, Mistress ??. cries the Wench. If you don't like my Doings, you may turn me away. If I am a We • (for the other had liberally beftowed that Ap'pellation on her) my Betters are so as well as I? What was, the fine Lady in the Puppet-fhow juft now I fuppofe fhe did not lie all Night out from her Husband for nothing.'

The Landlady now burft into the Kitchin, and fell foul on both her Husband and the poor Puppet-mover. Here, Husband,' fays fhe, you fee the Confequence of harbouring these • People in your House. If one doth draw a little Drink the more for them, one is hardly made Amends for the Litter they make; and then to have one's House made a Bawdyhouse

• of

of by fuch loufy Vermin. In fhort, I defire 6 you would be gone To-morrow Morning; for • I will tolerate no more fuch Doings. It is only the Way to teach our Servants Idlenefs and Nonfenfe; for to be fure nothing better can be learned by fuch idle Shows as these. I remem•ber when Puppet shows were made of good • Scripture Stories, as Jephthah's Rash Vow, and 'fuch good Things, and when wicked People 6 were carried away by the Devil. There was • fome Senfe in thofe Matters; but as the Parfon ⚫ told us laft Sunday, nobody believes in the Devil now-a-days; and here you bring about a Parcel of Puppets dreft up like Lords and Ladies, only to turn the Heads of poor Country Wenches; and when their Heads are once turned topfy-turvy, no wonder every thing • elfe is fo.'

Virgil, I think, tells us, that when the Mobi are affembled in a riotous and tumultuous Manner, and all Sorts of miffile Weapons fly about, if a Man of Gravity and Authority appears. amongst them, the Tumult is presently appeased,** and the Mob,

Body, may be ich when collected into one

well compared to an Afs, erect their long Ears at the grave Man's Difcourfe.

On the contrary, when a Set of grave Men and Philofophers are difputing; when Wisdom herfelf may in a Manner be confidered as prefent, and adminiftring Arguments to the Difputants; fhould a Tumult arife among the Mob, or fhould one Scold, who is herself equal in Noife to a mighty Mob, appear among the faid Philofophers; their Difputes cease in a Moment, Wifdom no longer performs her ministerial Office,

and 1

and the Attention of every one is immediately attracted by the Scold alone.

Thus the Uproar aforefaid, and the Arrival of the Landlady, filenced the Master of the Puppetfhow, and put a fpeedy and final End to that. grave and folemn Harangue, of which we have given the Reader a fufficient Tafte already. Nothing indeed could have happened fo very inop portune as this Accident; the most wanton Maice of Fortune could not have contrived fuch another Stratagem to confound the poor Fellow, while he was fo triumphantly defcanting on the. good Morals inculcated by his Exhibitions. His Mouth was now as effectually ftopt, as that of a Quack muft be, if in the Midft of a Declamation on the great Virtues of his Pills and Powders, the Corpfe of one of his Martyrs fhould be brought forth, and depofited before the Stage, as a Tefti-› mony of his Skill.

Inftead, therefore, of answering my Landlady, the Puppet-show Man ran out to punish his Merry-Andrew; and now the Moon beginning to put forth her Silver Light, as the Poets call it (tho' fhe looked at that Time more like a Piece of Copper) Jones called for his Reckoning, and ordered Partridge, whom my Landlady had juft awaked from a profound Nap, to prepare for his Journey; but Partridge having lately carried two Points, as my Reader hath feen before, was emboldened to attempt a third, which was to prevail with Jones to take up a Lodging that Evening in the Houfe where he then was. He introduced this with an affected Surprize at the Intention which Mr. Jones declared of removing; and after urging many excellent Argumentsagainst it, he at laft infifted strongly, that it could be to no

1

manner

manner of Purpose whatever: For that unless Jones knew which Way the Lady was gone, every Step he took might very poffibly lead him the farther from her; for you find Sir,' faid he, by all the People in the Houfe, that she is not gone this Way. How much better therefore, would it be to ftay till the Morning, when we may expect to meet with Some-body to en" quire of ??

This laft Argument had indeed fome Effect on Jones, and while he was weighing it, the Landlord threw all the Rhetoric of which he was Master, into the fame Scale. Sure, Sir, faid he, ⚫ your Servant gives you moft excellent Advice: For who would travel by Night at this Time of the Year?' He then began in the ufual Stile to trumpet forth, the excellent Accommodation which his Houfe afforded; and my Landlady likewife opened on the Occafion-But not to detain the Reader with what is common to every Hoft and Hoftefs, it is fufficient to tell him, Jones was at laft prevailed on to ftay and refresh himfelf with a few Hours Reft, which indeed he very much wanted; for he had hardly fhut his Eyes fince he had left the Inn where the Accident of the broken Head had happened.

As foon as Jones had taken a Refolution to proceed no farther that Night, he prefently retired to Reft, with his two Bed-fellows the Pocket-Book, and the Muff; but Partridge, who at feveral Times had refreshed himself with feve ral Naps, was more inclined to Eating than to Sleeping, and more to Drinking than to either

And now the Storm which Grace had raised being at an End, and my Landlady being again reconciled to the Puppet-man, who on his Sidet forgave

forgave the indecent Reflections which the good Woman in her Faffion had caft on his Performances, a Face of perfect Peace and Tranquillity reigned in the Kitchin; where fat affembled round the Fire, the Landlord and Landlady of the House, the Master of the Puppet-fhow, the Attorney's Clerk, the Exciseman, and the ingenious Mr. Partridge; in which Company paft the agreeable Conversation which will be found in the next Chapter.

CHA P. VII.

Containing a Remark or two of our own, and many more of the good Company affembled in the Kitchin.

HOUGH the Pride of Partridge did not fubmit to acknowledge himself a Servant; yet he condescended in moft Particulars to imitate the Manners of that Rank. One Inftance of this was his greatly magnifying the Fortune of his Companion, as he called Jones: fuch is a general Custom with all Servants among Strangers, as none of them would willingly be thought the Attendant on a Beggar: For the higher the Situation of the Mafter is, the higher confequently is that of the Man in his own Opinion; the Truth of which Obfervation appears from the Behaviour of all the Footmen of the Nobility.

But tho' Title and Fortune communicate a Splendor all around them, and the Footmen of Men of Quality and of Eftate think themselves entitled to a Part of that Refpect which is paid to the Quality and Eftates of their Masters; it is clearly otherwife with Regard to Virtue and Understanding. These Advantages are strictly per