his Mind with good Literature. He no fooner, therefore, heard the violent Uproar in the next Room, than he leapt from his Bolfter, and tak ing his Sword in one Hand, and the Candle which burnt by him in the other, he went directly to Mrs. Waters's Chamber.

If the Sight of another Man in his Shirt at firft added fome Shock to the Decency of the Lady, it made her prefently Amends by confiderably abating her Fears; for no fooner had the Calabalaro enter'd the Room, than he cry'd out:

Mr. Fitzpatrick, what the Devil is the Maning of this?" Upon which the other immediately anfwered, O, Mr. Macklachlan, I am rejoiced you are here,This Villain hath debauched my Wife, and is got into Bed with her.' What "Wife? cries Macklachlan, do not I know Mrs. Fitzpatrick very well, and don't I fee that the Lady, whom the Gentleman who ftands here in his Shirt is lying in Bed with, is none of *** her ?

Fitzpatrick now perceiving, as well by the Glimpfe he had of the Lady, as by her Voice, which might have been diftinguifhed at a greater Distance than he now ftood from her, that he had made a very unfortunate Miftake, began to afk many Pardons of the Lady; and then turning. to Jones he faid, I would have you take Notice I do not ask your Pardon, for you have bate me; for which I am refolved to have your • Blood in the Morning.'

Jones treated this Menace with much Contempt; and Mr Macklachlan anfwered, Indeed, Mr. Fitzpatrick, you may be afhamed of your ownfelf, to disturb People at this Time of Night: If all the People in the Inn were not

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afleep,

have me.

afleep, you would have awakened them as you The Gentleman has ferved you very rightly. Upon my Confcience, tho' I have no Wife, if you had treated her fo, I would have ❝ cut your Throat.'

Jones was fo confounded with his Fears for his Lady's Reputation, that he knew neither what to fay or do; but the Invention of Women is, as hath been obferved, much readier than that of Men. She recollected that there was a Communication between her Chamber and that of Mr. Jones; relying, therefore, on his Honour and her own Afiurance, fhe anfwered, I know not what you mean, Villains! I am Wife to none of you. Help! Rape! Murder! Rape!'- And now the Landlady coming into the Room, Mrs. Waters fell upon her with the utmost Virulence, faying,She thought herself in a fober Inn, and

not in a Bawdy Houfe; but that a Set of Villains had broke into her Room, with an Intent upon her Honour, if not upon her Life; and both, fhe faid, were equally dear to her.'

The Landlady now began to roar as loudly as the poor Woman in Bed had done before. She ery'd, She was undone, and that the Reputation of her Houfe, which was never blown upon before, was utterly deftroyed.' Then turning to the Men, fhe cry'd, What, in the Devil's Name, is the Reafon of all this Disturbance in the Lady's Room?' Fitzpatrick, hanging down his Head, repeated, that he had committed a Miftake, for which he heartily afbed Pardon," and then retired with his Countryman. Jones, who was too ingenious to have miffed the Hint given him by his Fair One, boldly afferted, That he had run to her Afiftance upon hearing • the

3

dly as She tation

upon arning Devil's nce in

down tted a ardon,* Jones, e Hint Terted, bearing

the

the Door broke open; with what Design he ⚫ could not conceive, unlefs of robbing the Lady; which if they intended, he faid, he had the good Fortune to prevent.' 'I never had a • Robbery committed in my House fince I have kept it,' cries the Landlady: I wou'd have < you to know, Sir, I harbour no Highwaymen here; I fcorn the Word, thof I fay it. None • but honeft, good Gentlefolks, are welcome to my House; and, I thank good Luck, I have • always had_enow of fuch Cuftomers; indeed as many as I could entertain. Here hath been Lord--and then the repeated over a Camy talogue of Names and Titles, many of which we might, perhaps, be guilty of a Breach of Privilege by inferting.

Jones, after much Patience, at length interrupted her, by making an Apology to Mrs. Waters, for having appeared before her in his Shirt, affuring her, That nothing but a Concern for •her Safety could have prevailed on him to do it.' The Reader may inform himself of her Answer, and, indeed, of her whole Behaviour to the End. of the Scene, by confidering the Situation which fhe affected, it being that of a modeft Lady, who was awakened out of her Sleep by three ftrange Men in her Chamber. This was the Part which the undertook to perform; and, indeed, fhe executed it fo well, that none of our Theatrical Actreffes could exceed her, in any of their Performances, either on or off the Stage.

And hence, I think, we may very fairly draw an Argument, to prove how extremely natural Virtue is to the Fair Sex: For tho' there is not, perhaps, one in ten thousand who is capable of making a good Actress; and even among these

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we

we rarely fee two who are equally able to perfonate the fame Character; yet this of Virtue they can all admirably well put on; and as well thofe Individuals who have it not, as thofe who poffefs it, can all act it to the utmoft Degree of Perfection.

When the Men were all departed, Mrs. Waters recovering from her Fear, recovered likewife from her Anger, and spoke in much gentler Accents to the Landlady, who did not fo readily quit her Concern for the Reputation of the Houfe, in Favour of which fhe began again to number the many great Perfons who had slept under her Roof; but the Lady ftopt her fhort, and having abfolutely acquitted her of having had any Share in the past Disturbance, begged to be left to her Repofe, which, fhe faid, fhe hoped to enjoy unmolefted during the Remainder of the Night. Upon which the Landlady, after much Civility, and many Court'fies, took her Leave

CHA P. III

A Dialogue between the Landlady, and Sufan the Ghambermaid, proper to be read by all Innkeepers and their Servants; with the Arrival, and affable Behaviour of a beautiful young Lady; which may teach Perfons of Condition how they may acquire the Love of the whole World.

TH

HE Landlady remembering that Susan had been the only Perfon out of Bed when the Door was burst open, reforted prefently to her, to enquire into the firft Occafion of the Difturbance, as well as who the ftrange Gentleman was, and when and how he arrived.

Sufan

Susan related the whole Story which the Reader knows already, varying the Truth only in fome Circumstances, as the faw convenient, and totally concealing the Money which the had received. But whereas her Miftrefs had in the Preface to her Enquiry spoken much in Compaffion for the Fright which the Lady had been in, concerning any intended Depredations on her Virtue, Sufan could not help endeavouring to quiet the Concern which her Mistress feemed to be under on that Account, by fwearing heartily fhe faw Jones leap out from her Bed.

The Landlady fell into a violent Rage at thefe Words. A likely Story truly,' cried fhe, that 6 a Woman fhould cry out, and endeavour to 'expofe herself, if that was the Cafe! I defire to • know what better Proof any Lady can give of her Virtue than her crying out, which, I believe, twenty People can witnefs for her the did? I beg, Madam, you would fpread no fuch Scan• dal of any of my Guests: For it will not only reflect on them, but upon the House; and I am fure no Vagabonds, nor wicked beggarly People come here.'

·

Well,' fays Sufan, then I must not believe my own Eyes.' No, indeed muft you not always,' anfwered her Miftrefs, I would not have believed my own Eyes against fuch good • Gentlefolks. I have not had a better Supper ordered this half Year than they ordered laft Night; and fo eafy and good humoured were they, that they found no Fault with my Worcestershire Perry, which I fold them for Champagne; and to be fure it is as well tafted, and as wholesome as the beft Champagne in the Kingdom, otherwife I would fcorn to give it