either wandered from her bed, and took to loofe courfes, which they might do, it was fo common, without much fcandal or ill fame, or elfe they quickly found occafion for divorce; and therefore to be married, tho against their liking and confent, was no great hardhip, the customs of the nation, the licence of the times, gave them a world of liberty, and this made it much more reasonable for the fons to be entirely at their parents difpofal than the daughters.

The cafe of Chriftians is quite different. They have no liberty allowed of any kind. Chrift has obliged them to love each other, and no other, even till death. Each Chriftian pair is now reduced to their original ftandard, and are to be as Eve and Adam were to each other, faithful and kind, without fo much as hope of changing. This makes it to be infinitely more the concern of Chriftians, to look they marry none but whom they love, and fully intend to love, than of other people whofe laws and cuftoms allowed them greater liberties; and therefore it is not altogether fair to urge the inftances and examples of thefe fort of people fo often in a Chriftian kingdom, for they might much more reafonably, becaufe more eafily, fubmit to the wil and command of their parents, than Chriftians in fuch cafes of marriage can And when parents remember that their commands are to lay obligations on their children, that will last when they themfelves are dead and gone, and from which they never can be feed, tho' all the evils in the world fhould happen to them, they will be cautious and fparing how they lay fuch commands upon them, against their inclination and liking. However, there will be always fome difference between children refufing, with all fubmiffion and refpect, to comply with the commands of their parents, in marrying fuch whom they are fure they do not love; and their marrying where they will, without the confent, or against the commands of their parents. The difobedience of the enc is much more pardonable and pitiable than the difobe

difobedience of the other, because it is much more in the childrens power to keep theufelves free from engaging their affections, than it is to fettle them where the parents pleafe. And to refufe to marry when commanded, is not fo likely to do any injury or dishonour, as to marry against command is to do both or either; and yet in excufe of fuch difobedience, as martying of themfelves, refpect and confideration are to be had to the peoples age and condition.

The cuitoms of the world, and reafon, consent in giving fuch perfons fill more liberty, the older they grow. They are not to be mafters of themfelves while young, because their reafon and understanding are imperfect. They have not judgment enough to confider what is good or evil for them. Their paffions and af fections are strong and prevalent, always looking towards pleasure, and they have not confideration enough to correct or check the diforders of their will and defire. If thefe be the true caufes why they ought to be fubject to the commands of parents and fuperiors, while young, it is but fit, that as thefe wear off, and reafon, understanding, and judgment fucceed, their chains would wear away, and their reftraint be lef fened. This is generally allowed in fecond marriages, The firft dees fo emancipate and free the children from the parents power, that it is not accounted difobedience when they marry the fecond time without confent. Now this is not, because the parents are no longer parents, nor the children tied to dutiful obedience, but because the greater age and reafon make them fitter to confider themselves, and to look af er their own affairs. It is indeed a maxim, that they who are once emancipated and fet free, do never return to fervitude, and therefore the children being once freed from their parents authority by marriage, come not again undertheir power as to a fecond marriage. But I believe, that fulness of age, maturity of judgment, fobriety, and fleadiness of mind and temper, are better reasons.

for

for childrens liberty, and exemption from fome comTM mands of their parents, than their being once married. For if a minor marry disobediently, and be afterwards fet at liberty by his partner's death, while he is still young and under age, whatever the laws may do, yet reafon certainly fubjects him to his parents power, in the choice of a fecond wife, as it did of the first. He is not emancipated by his first folly and difobedience, he ftill wants the care and tutelage of his parents; wherefore not ing but age, difcretion, and ability to look after themselves, exempt children from the fubjection. of their parents, in matters that are fo perfonal, and fo much the childrens own concern. Parents are efpecially to have regard to the age and wifdom of their children; and the childrens difobedience in thofe cafes will be more or lefs excufable, as wisdom and age fet: them more at liberty.

Sometimes the neglect of parents will, in a great measure, excufe the childrens marrying themselves. If parents are backward in taking fuch care as is but neceffary, children cannot be blamed in providing for their' own fettlement: and therefore fome laws have left them wholly at their liberty to marry at fuch an age, if their parents looked not after it before. Thefe, and many other things, may be faid in behalf of children, either refufing to marry fuch as their parents command them to marry, or that marry according to their own liking against command. And there is fo much to be faid on both fides, and fo many things to be confidered particular to each, that it is neither fafe nor true to affirm, that all parents in all cafes have a right to a compli ance and obedience of their children, or that all children are at liberty to marry and difpofe of themselves without the confent of their parents; for neither of these propofitions are unexceptionably true. Parents have a great power, but they must use it, as truly they mott generally will and do, like parents, tenderly and kindJy; and children have a great duty, but they are noe

tied.

tied like flaves in all cafes, and with bonds that will laft for ever; but when they do not obey, they must do it with unwillingne fs, and great reluctance, and it must be in cafes of great and lafting moment and concern, fuch as when reprefented to fair, equal, wife and understanding people, they may find themfelves both pitied for their trial, and approved for their refolution: that thofe who would be glad that children fhould obey their parents, may acknowledge it was rea fonable they fhould not be obeyed in thefe particulars: for, to fay truth, the affections of parents are generally fo firong, and their intention fo good towards their children, that the prefumption of right is generally on their fide, and the caufe of the children had need be very juft, righteous, and apparently good and reafonable, when they difpute or contend with parents: because the bias of the whole world is, with much reafon, on their fide against the children.

In a word, when the certain laws of god, and the laws of the land, and of our fuperiors, lay their commands or prohibitions on children, the parents have nothing to do but to forward their obedience. They are not. to enjoin any thing prejudicial to the obligations they lie under to god and to their country, nor to command them in oppofition to them: and when they do, they are not to be heard or understood. The children are to go on fteadily in their duty to both, and to mistake their parents orders, with fubmiffion, and respect, and tendernefs. And in the cafe of marriages, the parents are to take all due care to fee their children well difpofed of, according to their age, and quality, and tempers, remembering they are then laying the grounds and foundation of their happiness or mifery, and not to let the confideration of fortune and eftate fo preponderate and over-weigh all other confiderations of form and favour, birth and education, virtue and good qualities, as to neglect them all; and when the parents have done this, the children are to obey as far as poffibly they can. The

little objections of the fancy, and the niceties that are commonly made on thofe occafions, muft yield to the mature deliberations of the parents. It were undoubtedly beft, and moft to be wifhed, that both the parents and the children might so choose that each fhould approve the other's choice, and that, as Homer fays of Penelope, he might be bestowed by her father upon whom the pleafed: for otherwife, they will not both be eafy, but when that comes to pafs, the authority of parents, and the duty of children are both fecured and reconciled. But if this will not be, it will be difficult to avoid committing a fault, on one fide or the other. If the parent offer what the child cannot poffibly affent to, and what wife and unconcerned perfons blame, condemn and reject, upon a reasonable information of the whole proceedings, if fuch refufal of the offer be made with decency, and great humility upon the childrens part, it will not fall under the head of finful difobedience. They may ftand off with innocence and fafety, and yet may honour as they ought their father and mother. But if fuch offer be made by the parents, as wife and good men in the like cafe and circumstances may make, without folly and without injury, and there be nothing handsome or material to object, fuch as would fatisfy a wife, a fober, and impartial man, the duty of children fo refufing will not be fafe. They are doubtlefs obliged to obey their parents in these cases; and if children, who are under age, and wholly in their father's cuftody and power, and part of his houfe, will venture to engage themfelves, without his confent, or against his command, to their difhonour and prejudice, they will be guilty of finful difobedience, and must feek the forgiveness they will want, both at God's hand and his.

The duty of children to parents, as has hitherto been confidered, has relation chiefly to the fa her. We must now difcourfe of it as it relates to the mother, both while the father is alive, and after he is dead. The mother is

indeed