Straightforward Coherent 9. M. Adams I.B. Mark, B. My Kirst Experience as a Cook! One day. glask last summer I thought I would try be some candy. It was a. make to was a very hot day and all Sp the folks had gone visiting but & prefired to stay at I home and read. After a while, however, I had to get tired and wanted to do something for a change. Fremembered seeing a receipt for fudges in a cookbook, so I went to get the book and the things with which A to make the fudge. After I had the things all ready, I turned on the gas and put the candy on to boil! While waiting I wanted for it to become hard enough to take it off, While I was waiting I heard the gate open, and when I looked out two of my chums were coming up the walk. It was so warm in the kitchen & did not want to ack them to come in, besides I wanted to surprise them when the candy was done. Lo & went out in the yard to six down with them. R W R 5/ one بلد We became so much interested in talking that of entirely forgot the candy. One of the girls wanted a glass of water, so she went into the house to get at. On opening the door, she called back that something was burning. Then I remembered the candy, only to find that it had all boiled away and that the kittle was completely burned. 29. Write a brief account of something you have seen happen. Prepare two copies of the manuscript, as indicated above. 30. In class, exchange papers,1 the second copies prepared in Exercise 29, and, as examiner of the paper of one of your classmates, criticize the work under the following heads: (1) neatness, (2) margins, (3) heading (including wording of title), (4) indention of paragraphs, (5) sentence structure, (6) punctuation, (7) spelling, (8) interest. Write your report and see that each of your sentences has a subject and a predicate. The following form will serve as a model in making your report, and may be used in other exercises of this kind. CRITICISM OF "A RUNAWAY," BY A. F. BROWN 1. The page is neat and attractive. 2. The margins are straight and of the right width. 3. The heading is complete and the title appropriate. No space is left between the title and the opening sentence. 4. Three paragraphs have been made, but I see no reason why there should be more than one paragraph. 5. The fourth sentence has no predicate. 6. There is no punctuation mark at the end of the first sentence. 7. The words "Tuesday" and "village" are misspelled. 8. The story is exciting.2 MARY A. TAFT, Examiner. 31. Taking advantage of all the suggestions given by your classmate, revise your paper. If you think best, rewrite it; that is, if, in the judgment of your teacher, interlinear corrections of the original paper are not sufficient. 32. Write about another incident which you have seen. Follow the directions given for preparing the preceding paper. 1 By examining one another's papers one day passing them forward, another day passing them backward, then to the left, to the right, to the second pupil in front, etc. the members of the class can be of great service in pointing out certain improvements to one another. 2 See p. 246 for helpful, specific words. 33. In class, exchange papers and act as examiner as before. 34. Revise your paper, and if there is sufficient reason, rewrite it. 18. Revising and Rewriting. Every composition is to be revised carefully and returned to the teacher.1 In most cases there should be no need of rewriting; corrections made on the original paper will show whether the criticisms have been understood. But when a composition has to be rewritten, the original copy should be handed in with the rewritten one. Never erase any of the criticisms. There may not be room to recast whole sentences on the original copy, but it is important to make such corrections there as space allows. In a matter like spelling, for example, if the right form is written above the wrong form, the teacher can see at a glance that the correction has been made; whereas it would take much longer to find the corrected word in the rewritten copy. By keeping much of the written work in a notebook, the pupil can attend to certain matters at once and, as he continues his study of composition, can come back to his early work again and again for the sake of making one improvement after another. For instance, in connection with the study of punctuation, different sentences may be tested by the rules for the use of commas, semicolons, and so on. It will be well always to bring the notebook to class. 19. Pupils' Criticisms. In recitation, sometimes a pupil will read his composition aloud, and teacher and classmates will make criticisms; sometimes papers will be ex 1 1 Long experience in composition-teaching has convinced the author that it is important to see that every criticism or suggestion is understood. changed and criticized by the pupils. On other occasions themes will be handed to the teacher without reading or discussion. The value of criticism by the pupils of one another's work depends upon the spirit of helpfulness in which the suggestions are made and taken. The earnest pupil will be careful not to antagonize his critic. He will understand that he may disregard a poor suggestion, but cannot afford to deprive himself of any real help that a critic can give. Most important of all, however, is a pupil's criticism of his own work. Each pupil should endeavor to be as good a critic of his own compositions as of another's. Every reporter, short-story writer, and novelist has to criticize his own work, and as a possible writer of the future, each one should be eager to learn to correct thoroughly his own work. The following Key may be used in correcting themes: A C Ambiguous. KEY TO EXAMINER'S CRITICISMS Wants connection with subject or context (coherence). Poss Possessive case. (A check mark over the word is also suitable 1, 2, 3, etc. Rearrange words, clauses, or sentences in the order indicated by the numbers. Omit the passage within brackets. The criticism refers to as many lines of the writing as this mark stands against. One of the foregoing signs placed at the beginning of a composition indicates that the fault is a prevailing one. Thus, 13 NOTE. The heavy-faced section numbers in this book may be used to call the pupil's attention to the discussion of a particular fault. would refer him to The Heading, page 20. །། When you find a "¶" in one of your margins, do not pass it by until you understand why it is there; if a "G" confronts you, be sure that you see just what is wrong before you try to right it; and should a "K" appear, work away until the phrase is natural and smooth. It is most encouraging to know that great writers have had to do their work over and over again before it was satisfactory. We find Stevenson saying, "Yesterday I was a living half hour upon a single clause and have a gallery of variants that would surprise you." And in March, 1891, he wrote: "I had breakfasted and read (with indescribable sinkings) the whole of yesterday's work before the sun had risen. Then I sat and thought, and sat and better thought. It was not good enough, nor |