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365. Rewrite as many of the following sentences as you can improve, even if some of them are good as they stand:
1. I was alone at the time and was much frightened.
2. My father tried to take hold of the cat, and it jumped about five feet up into the air.
3. He asked them what they wanted, and they laughed at him. 4. We reached home about five o'clock, and we were so tired when we got off our bicycles that we could hardly walk.
5. Last summer, while spending a few weeks' vacation in Provincetown, I built a raft and went rowing with the boys of the community. 6. I had no cartridges, so I went over to my chum's house and borrowed a few.
7. Several of the boys recited "Signior Antonio," and did so well that the teacher was greatly pleased.
8. I have not yet put all the themes in my notebook, but I have only two more to be put in.
9. As I entered the woods, I saw two high rocks.
IO. The center of the island was high, and there was a very tall tree there.
366. Consider the unity of the following sentences, and rewrite wherever it is desirable. If the sentence is compound and does not seem to require rewriting, explain carefully the thought that unifies it.
1. Our school building is the oldest in the city, and it stands on Broadway.
2. Theodore Roosevelt has been twice President of the United States, and has made a famous hunting trip to Africa.
3. I like the Boston Tribune because it costs only one cent, contains reliable news, and has a good editorial page.
4. Burns wrote "Auld Lang Syne," and is a famous poet who was a poor farmer in Scotland.
5. Front-de-Bœuf was very cruel, and was the largest of all the knights at the tournament where Ivanhoe won the victory and made Rowena the Queen of Love and Beauty.
6. London is the largest city in the world, and is situated on the river Thames.
7. Monsieur Defarge was an able-bodied man of about thirty years of age, and was rather good-natured.
8. Jerry Cruncher was the messenger at Tellson's Bank, and was fond of fishing.
9. The Mississippi, which is the most important river in the United States, flows into the Gulf of Mexico.
10. I like "Ivanhoe" as a story, but "A Tale of Two Cities" is much harder to understand.
II. The Crusades were great military expeditions, and the Christian people of Europe carried them on with the aim of rescuing the holy places of Palestine from the hordes of the Mohammedans.
12. The courage of the common soldier is officially supposed to be beyond question, and, as a rule, it is so.
13. Every timber in the vessel was of oak, and she had been built in Maine.
14. The soldiers stepped from the trenches into the furrow, horses that had charged federal guns marched before the plow, and fields that ran red with blood in spring were green with harvest in June.
15. All this time it was snowing harder than it had ever snowed before, so far as a man might guess at it; and the leaden depth of the sky came down like a mine turned upside down on us.
116. Uniform Construction. If possible, keep the construction of a sentence uniform. One way to do this is to keep the same subject and the same voice throughout the sentence. For example:
Change of Construction
1. I looked down on the river and twenty small boys could be seen swimming merrily about.
2. I looked down on the river and could see twenty small boys swimming merrily about.
As we read 1, we may naturally inquire, " By whom could the boys be seen?"
367. Be prepared to improve the following sentences, and to explain the original faults of construction:
1. In order to save the vessel, she had to be lightened of her deckload and was run before the wind.
2. The wolves becoming more savage every moment, a council was held, and having decided to camp for the night, a great fire was built.
3. Van and I paddled down the river all that morning until one o'clock, and then the canoe was pushed into the sand and lunch was eaten.
4. I strung a rope between two trees, and then the tent covering was drawn over it.
5. Their object is to blast away the whole ledge of rock so that a cellar can be made, and at the same time they can utilize the stone for building purposes..
6. As we looked eagerly toward the opening in the wood, the familiar face of our favorite horse was seen.
7. Many people take great pleasure in photography and in taking long drives, and even reading is often enjoyed by people.
8. She had a severe headache and the doctor cured it.
368. (1) Write what you consider the most important thing to say about each of five of the following subjects:
1. "The Vision of Sir Launfal." 2. "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner."
3. Rebecca (in “Ivanhoe”). 4. "Treasure Island."
5. 'The Pilgrim's Progress."
6. Abraham Lincoln's Boyhood.
8. England and America.
10. Our School Paper.
II. The Good Effects of War. 12. Our Literary Society.
13. Extempore Speaking.
(2) Examine each sentence carefully to see whether it is a unit. If there is any doubt about the unity of a sentence, rewrite it. See that the construction is uniform.
117. Long or Short Sentences. If you indulge in a long sentence, be sure that you keep it well in hand. The longer you allow a sentence to run, the greater is the danger that it will run away with you. A short sentence is easier to manage, and is more likely to be a unit.
Occasionally short sentences need to be combined. A
glance shows that for the following material one sentence
is better than three:
On my way home I saw two wagons broken down one had the rear axle broken; the other, the shafts.
On my way home I saw two wagons broken down. One had the rear axle broken. The other had the shafts broken.
369. (1) Copy from your writing five of the longest sentences. you can find, and rewrite any into which you have crowded ideas which have no close connection.
(2) Turn this runaway compound sentence into two complex
When school began we made new acquaintances, but "our friend in need" became a chum to me, but he was rather old for my brother who made friends for himself among the members of his class.
370. See whether, in the last piece of writing you have done, there are any such scrappy sentences as these. What suggestions might improve them?
The lady Rowena was tall and had a fair complexion. Her eyes were blue. She loved to wear rich clothes. She was well built and of a noble family. She had a fine set of teeth. She had no parents and was under the care of Cedric.
371. Rewrite the paragraphs given below, combining them in order to avoid the scrappy effect and omitting useless words (see sect. 123).
1. Last summer I was invited to join a motor boat party. This party consisted of seven boys and our motor chauffeur.
2. The captain is quarterback. He is a strong, muscular fellow, but not very tall. His name is Marsh.
3. One day I brought a steel rod to school with me, which was about one quarter of an inch in diameter. I intended to make a chisel gauge such as carpenters use out of it.
4. Some days I like to play marbles with the boys. We would begin by "popping" a marble. Getting tired of that we would play
"bunny." After a while we would play "blum," or "piggy," as some call it. This is my favorite game with marbles.
He let the boy
5. Last summer a friend and I often went to the Franklin Park golf links. We walked over the links with the players, having a great deal of fun hunting for golf balls. After going over the links several times or more, we began to know or understand how to play game. One hot day we went over the links with an old man. who was with me try his luck at hitting the ball. He did pretty well for the first time. Then he let me try it. I got everything ready, took good aim and whacked at it, but I missed. I did this three or four times. But every one was laughing at me, so I made up my mind I would hit it and I did. But in taking good aim I did not put all the strength I could into it. The result was that the golf ball went only a few yards. But the next time I did a little better, although it was not much to talk about.
6. Uncas was the son of Chingachgook. He was the deadly enemy of Magua and loved Cora. He was quick of foot and could see everything. On his breast was tattooed the sign of a turtle. He and Chingachgook were the last of the Mohicans. Magua killed him after Cora had been slain.
118. Ways of Securing Unity. It will be helpful to keep in mind these ways of securing unity:
1. A sentence is likely to be a unit if it is simple or complex rather than compound.
2. We need to give special attention to a compound sentence in order to keep out ideas which are not closely connected.
3. We should keep the construction of the sentence uniform.
4. A short sentence is more likely to be a unit than a long sentence.
119. Coherence in the Sentence. Clear thinking leads to clear writing. If we think of one thing at a time, we shall naturally write of one thing at a time; but even then it is not always easy to express the thought so that it plainly