PUNCH, OR THE LONDON CHARIVARI. Even with HOWLETT restored to the Post-Office, he is a daily, hourly example to his fellow-labourers of the impunity that may attend official treason and revolt: but with HOWLETT, kept at Sabbatarian expense-HOWLETT, grown sleek as a bishop's beaver-he would have been a twofold example of the prosperity of the conscientious lowly, and the HOWLETT, fat, and thriving, would have afforded a generosity of the Sabbatarian rich. delightful gloss to the pious text of our ASHLEY preaching. Again, the Bishop of Oxford, in his all unworldly way, has missed a chance. Why did not he comfort and harbour HOWLETT? Could he not have clothed him in episcopal purple, and suspended him at the back of his coach, showing a stiff-necked generation what glory was vouchsafed a Post-Office martyr, whom a bishop delighted to honour. This OXFORD might have done; and this, with his characteristic meekness, he has foregone and missed. We must, therefore, be content to leave HOWLETT at the Post-Office. We trust, however, that he will have an extra bit of gold lace to mark his worth and past suffering. Possibly the MARQUESS OF CLANRICARDE has already provided for this, saying with Bassanio when (As Sung with great Applause at the St. Paul's he engages Lancelot Gobbo, absorb their tears in their napkins. The piece of plate was a salver with an inscription, in which the head waiter was salved over with compliments to an immense extent, and there was inscribed in the centre, as a motto, which the recipient was frequently spoken of as the words "Coming, coming," in allusion to "the Coming Man." We regret it is not in our power to give any of the speeches that were spoken on the occasion, was said on the subject of the virtues of the but in the course of the evening a great deal head waiter, who, it was stated, had been known to hand five hundred breads in forty minutes, out eighty glasses of champagne, and exclaim, wipe three hundred glasses in half an hour, pour Coming directly, Sir," to eighty applicants at once, without going near one, or giving offence to any. THE MOST DESIRABLE SETTLEMENT FOR EMIGRANTS.-The Pecuniary Settlement. THE QUEEN AT SEA. WE could not have a more appropriate Sovereign for the British Isles than her present MAJESTY, who is perfectly at home at sea, and who furnishes an excellent representative of BRITANNIA, of wave-ruling celebrity. Among the luggage put on board the royal yacht for the contemplated cruise to Ostend, were a cow and a piano; a couple of articles showing that the QUEEN apprehended nothing from the roughness of the weather, to disturb her ordinary arrangements, but that she would be able to enjoy her tea and music as usual. The wind being somewhat boisterous, it might have been feared that the piano would have been raised a good deal higher than concert pitch by the pitching of the vessel. As to the cow, its notions of a toss up would have been a little extended by the freaks of NEPTUNE, but there would be no immediate danger to the animal, unless any unskilful hand on board should have got to the piano, and struck up the tune the cow died of, in an unguarded moment. MR. B. WON'T HAVE A MAN WITH HIM, AS HE THINKS HE CAN Railway Intelligence. Mr. Punch is authorised to contradict, in his strongest manner, a malicious report that LORD BROUGHAM had been engaged to work all the trains, up and down, on the Eastern Railway, vice all the late hands, discharged. THE IMPERIAL BAGMAN. Ir strikes us that the "President's Tour" is very much in the style of a commercial traveller, travelling about the country, visiting the different towns, for imperial orders. Whether LOUIS NAPOLEON will return with the crown and sceptre, which he has started (according to that popular informant, Rumour, who is the Editor of the poor man's Moniteur,) with the object of bringing back with him, appears very doubtful. The returns which the Maison Napoléon et Cie have received at Paris from Besançon, and the different parts of Alsatia, are: "Very flat-nothing doing." LORD TORRINGTON'S ARMS. THE Whigs are about to grant new honours to the governor of Ceylon. In memory of his administration of that island he is henceforth to quarter a Shot Buddhist Priest, and a Taxed Dog Proper. Motto"CEYLON les règles." A Return in Kind. WE have often chronicled the visits of KING LEOPOLD to QUEEN VICTORIA. At last QUEEN VICTORIA has paid her return visit to KING LEOPOLD. Let us hope that Flemish hospitality, unlike Flemish book-publishing, may produce something better than a contrefaçon Belge. CONSTANTINOPLE REMOVED TO REGENT STREET. visiting London and not going to see the Exeter Change Arcade. The idea that there is any similarity between the two will be dispelled after one moment's stay, for in a Turkish bazaar there is activity, and life, and business, and shops not only with goods but with customers, and no Beadle to parade quickly up and down, as a make-believe that the place is an immense thoroughfare. Y at least two miles less of water in it, Constantinople differs from all other Panoramas. We A Turkish Bazaar, again, is different to the Soho Bazaar, or the have been overrun with so many rivers lately, Pantheon, for the stalls are served by huge men, who look so big that that it is quite a relief, after having had nothing you cannot help believing they have been stall-fed. There are no pretty but cataracts in our eye, to see the land again. girls, with pretty caps, in them, to tempt you to buy useless things you The cockney, who has been eight hours on do not want. It is also different to the Lowther Bazaar, and the Marine board a steamer, could not behold Margate Bazaars you meet at watering-places, for it has no raffles, or comic songs jetty with greater delight, than we hailed the minarets of Constantinople, after being tossed sung in character, nor even a wheel of fortune. It struck us as being about for months and months on the broad more like the Lowther Arcade than anything else for all the goods waters of the Nile and the Mississippi. We the notion that they had been shot out of a cart, like coals, preparatory are thrown out of window, and run all over the pavement, giving you have been in the water so long-swimming to being stowed away in a cellar. There is this difference, however, and floating over half the globe-that a little that the shopkeepers of the Lowther Arcade do not sit, like tailors on walking has done us an immensity of good. It must be confessed that the walking is very different to a stroll up works of art consist of tea-cups, and tumblers, and Bohemian glasses their boards, in the midst of their goods; for as most of the Lowther Regent Street, or a lounge in the Park. The walk is invested with all from Birmingham, this Turkish method of keeping a shop would be the interest which the first walk in a new city always affords a stranger. attended with no little danger. Two eyes are scarcely sufficient to notice all the strange sights that meet you at the corner of every street; and one mouth is at a loss to There is the Grand Mosque of St. Sophia, which reminds us once more The time is wearing on, and we have not half finished our walk. find exclamations-much less words-to express the wonder upon most painfully of the barbarism of the Turks, for it has not a single wonder that fills you at the discovery of each new beauty. There is nothing so delightful as this kind of walking. You choose some dark pew, and, greater blessing still! not a single pew opener. We have not yet visited the Slave-market, where, we are told, the slaves are so fond corner of the room, and there unseen by everyone, and seeing no one, of being sold, that they actually pray, and cry, and go down upon their you leave England, and all thoughts of duns and debtors and household cares, far behind you. The next minute you open your eyes, and find knees, to be bought, which reminds us of the equally probable story of the yourself wandering about in the streets of some foreign capital. You eels not at all disliking the process they undergo previous to being cooked have no necessity to leave your seat; only give yourself up to the penetrated into the interior of any of the mosques,-but, as you are not -nor have we been into a coffee-house, and smoked a chibouk,-nor pictorial influence of the scene, and let your eyes walk instead of your allowed to enter without taking off your boots, it may be as well to legs. It is more amusing, less fatiguing, and does not wear out shoe- remain outside, for, upon our asking for a boot-jack, we were told there leather. You are in the Polytechnic Institution-at least you were a minute which has been the hero that has stood a hundred fires, and never flinched was not one upon the premises. There are also the Burnt Column, ago-for now you are in the Cemetery of Eyoub-unlike the cemeteries once, and the Hippodrome-and the Sublime Porte, which is more the in London, for it is outside the town; but then you must not be surprised, colour of Sherry, or Bucellas, than the sublime liquid it has drawn its for you should recollect that we, English, are the most civilised nation in the world, and that Turkey is only as yet in a half barbarous state. name from-and the beautiful view of Constantinople from the BosThis leads you into the Street of Tombs. Make haste, bend yourself phorus, with its thousand minarets, which look like a forest of double, for that fine gentleman on the white horse like Timour the MORDAN's ever-pointed pencils, or more like many silver cases of caustic, Tartar is the Sultan, and, if you fail to give the passing salaam, a lunar compound. We have all these to see, besides the Seraglio-the -the black points exactly resembling the protruding bits of that very gentleman may come behind you and whisk your head off as cleanly as veil of which is lifted, and its mysteries shown to the inquisitive eye of if he were playing at knock-'em-downs, and your head was the wooden every harem-scarem youth. Our time is precious-so must we bring pincushion. The Sultan is followed by a long escort of dogs, who are our promenade to an abrupt termination-and take leave of MR. ALLOM, fighting away, "like regular Turks." These animals lead a perfect cat-after thanking him for having guided us so agreeably through the and-dog-life, for they are always quarrelling, and if an unhappy dog becomes parlours, and shops, and palaces, and cellars, and secret cupboards of a pauper and is thrown on the parish, it is unfortunate for him if it does Constantinople. He has shown us what no other Panorama has done not happen to be his own parish, for all the other dogs set upon him and before him he has thrown open the doors of a whole city, and allowed hunt him to death. In this way is he passed from parish to parish, so that us to peep inside. The Panorama of Constantinople has one great he is a very lucky dog, if he reaches his own parish with a whole skin. advantage-you not only visit Turkey, but you also see the Turks at The traveller should not snarl, like a cynic, over these misguided home. creatures, for he should recollect that but a short time ago paupers in England were treated very little better than dogs. That building opposite, which reminds you of the Clifton Baths at Gravesend, is a mosque. You need not wait to look at it, for you will see plenty more in your day's ramble-Constantinople is full of such mosques. They are somewhat like the Pavilion at Brighton, only highly gilt. They have beautiful domes, to which the domes we see in Park Terrace, Regent's Park, are mere thimbles. No stranger is admitted into them, not even upon payment of money, which is rather astonishing, for considering the late Sultan introduced into Turkey many European usages, we wonder that he overlooked the admirable twopenny-halfpenny systems of St. Paul's and Westminster Abbey, which rank, with justice, amongst the highest proofs of our superior civilisation. ALBERT SMITH, in his "Two Months at Constantinople," gives us the list of all his expenses, down to a lucifer match, which are not only very useful, but highly amusing. Suppose that we, in our at Constantinople," follow the same useful plan, for the benefit of future travellers to the Polyorama. a balance in our favour of £59 16s. 3d. 66 Two Hours 8. d. 1 0 2 0 0 2 0 1 06 39 The next object, you are told, is the Golden Horn, only it is as much Leaving, over the sum which ALBERT SMITH spent in the same journey, like a horn as Battersea is like a Sea of Batter. Fountains, which, we are reluctantly compelled to confess, surpass in elegance our pumps, invite you to drink in every direction, and from the fountain we are fed by a natural spring to the Bath. These Baths are very different to our Baths and Washhouses, and seem to be much funnier. The figures are very amusing, and we regret there are no Turkish baths in London, for we have long disbelieved in the Mahommedan origin of MAHOMMED, ever since he last answered us in an unmistakeable Irish accent. The regulations of these baths seem to be on the dinner principle, of three courses and a dessert, the latter consisting of a cup of coffee and a pipe. In appearance, the establishments look like immense Dyers' and Calenderers', and we noticed a big fat Alderman of a Turk, who, in the first course, was of a dark chocolate colour, come out at last an elegant rosy-pink complexion, not unlike a prawn. These dyeing baths would be of lugn value to many of our young men, who, from a long curriculum of study at the Casino and Vauxhall, have lost all their colour. A visit to Constantinople without going to a Bazaar would be like In Medio (Non) Tutissimus. THE Correspondent of a morning paper, describing the street preparations prepared for the QUEEN's reception at Ostend, speaks of "the Prussian Eagle that seems trying to fly both ways at once; emblem, surely, for a kingdom that dare not be despotic, and can't be a happy liberal; that halts in a half-and-half flight from the absolutism of a Prussian Court, to the anarchy of a Frankfort Assembly. THE GENTLEMEN OF LYONS. LOUIS NAPOLEON, on his recent visit to Lyons, recalled the words of the Emperor, and requested the City of Lyons to love him. He did his best to clothe himself in the second-hand habits of his illustrious uncle, and LOUIS NAPOLEON in Lyons must have reminded many of the fable of the ignobler animal in the Lion's skin. |