QUESTIONS ARISING UNDER THE HEALTH OF TOWNS' ACT. Whether certain unprofitable Railways may not be covered over, in pursuance of the clause authorising the covering over of drains, such Railways having been constant drains on the pockets of the shareholders? Whether, under the clause authorising the removal of offensive matter, MADAME TUSSAUD'S placards, which are full of offensive matter, may not be removed from the eye of the public? Whether, under the provision for preventing human beings from congregating in underground cellars, the Vernon Gallery ought not to be forthwith closed? TABLE OF MISCELLANEOUS DUTIES. THE PARLIAMENT ABY SEASOX. It is confidently hoped by many fathers and mothers of families that Parliament will not separate this year before the Fall of the Leaf, consequent upon the reduction of the Duty on Tea. Duty on Cabmen.-To get double the legal fare from all who can be cheated or bullied out of it. Duty on Omnibus Horses.-To wear out their own insides by dragging an unlimited number of outsides, and to die like Macbeth," with harness on their backs." Duty on Male Servants in Livery.-To plush for their betters. Duty on Society.-To continue to "mind its Punch," as it always has done hitherto, A GROAN FROM UNDERNEATH THE BEDOLOTHES. The woman that gives her husband the last cup of tea, or will not allow him to put his feet on the fender after dinner, or makes him jump out of bed to put the candle out, is no longer worthy to be classed amongst womankind, for such acts of cruelty only belong to women that are unkind. WEIGHTS AND MEASURES.-A ministerial measure is supposed to have most weight, and it is a curious fact that, the greater the weight, the less difficulty is there to get it carried. Jewellers weigh their gold by carats, but silver watches cannot be thus weighed, as turnips cannot be put into the scale against carats. THE MODEL LODGING HOUSE. RAILWAY MAXIM. When directors combine, shareholders should unite. Variation of Burke. IMPROVEMENT ON JOHNSON. Sir, the man who could make a pun could also invent a riddle. |