A cannibal was seated on a green Pacific isle,

With the temperature at ninety-nine degrees;
His dress was rather scanty, in the latest savage style,
Just a pair of Boston garters round his knees.

But he didn't seem quite happy, for now and then a groan
Escaped-which tore his savage breast in two;

And he chanted in a melancholy, meditative tone
The ditty that I now repeat to you:

"I've eaten hostile tribesmen without a single question;
I've feasted on the yellow, black and brown;

But I never have encountered such a fit of indigestion
As accompanied the minister from town.

"I have tried the Uambago, boiled and roasted, baked and fried; I have chewed the woolly Oolah, stuffed with yam;

But for all the after symptoms from the dishes we have tried

I wouldn't give a Bamballoadam!"

All the world loves a cannibal.

ALFRED E. DICKEY.

Said

a

"

Sheep to her child, "My dear Ruth,

Such precipitate haste is uncouth.
When you come down a stair
Use more caution and care,
And restrain this wild
impulse of youth."

KINDLY ADVICE

Be kind to the panther! for when thou wert young,
In thy country far over the sea,

'Twas a panther ate up thy papa and mama,
And had several mouthfuls of thee!

Be kind to the badger! for who shall decide
The depth of his badgery soul?

And think of the tapir, when flashes the lamp
O'er the fast and the free flowing bowl.

Be kind to the camel! nor let word of thine
Ever put up his bactrian back;

And cherish the she-kangaroo with her bag,
Nor venture to give her the sack.

Be kind to the ostrich! for how canst thou hope

To have such a stomach as it?

And when the proud day of your "bridal" shall come,
Do give the poor birdie a "bit."

Be kind to the walrus! nor ever forget
To have it on Tuesday to tea;

But butter the crumpets on only one side,
Save such as are eaten by thee.

Be kind to the bison! and let the jackal
In the light of thy love have a share;
And coax the ichneumon to grow a new tail,
And have lots of larks in its lair!

Be kind to the bustard, that genial bird,
And humour its wishes and ways;

And when the poor elephant suffers from bile,
Then tenderly lace up his stays!

Included because the author's name is so funny.

O. P. Q. SыIFT.