as the Alcoran, or be determined by any vifible authority, like that of the ROMAN pontiff, fpeculative reafoners naturally carry on their affent, and embrace a theory, which has been inftilled into them by their earliest education, and which also poffeffes fome degree of confiftence and uniformity. But as these appearances are fure, all of them, to prove deceitful, philofophy will foon find herself very unequally yoaked with her new affociate; and instead of regulating each principle, as they advance together, fhe is at every turn perverted to ferve the purposes of fuperftition. For befides the unavoidable incoherences, which must be reconciled and adjusted; one may fafely affirm, that all popular theology, especially the fcholaftic, has a kind of appetite for abfurdity and contradiction. If that theology went not beyond reason and common fenfe, her doctrines would appear too eafy and familiar. Amazement must of neceffity be raised: Myftery affected: Darkness and obfcurity fought after: Ad a foundation of merit afforded to the devout votaries, who defire an opportunity of fubduing their rebellious reafon, by the belief of the most unintelligible fophifms.

Ecclefiaftical hiftory fufficiently confirms thefe reflections. When a controverfy is started, fome people always pretend with certainty to foretell the iffue. Whichever opinion, say they, is moft contrary to plain sense is fure to prevail; even where the general intereft of the fyftem requires not that decifion. Though the reproach. of heresy may, for fome time, be bandied about among the difputants, it always refts at laft on the fide of reafon. Any one, it is pretended, that has but learning enough of this kind to know the definition of ARIAN, PELAGIAN, ERASTIAN, SOCINIAN, SABELLIAN, EUTYCHIAN, NESTORIAN, MONOTHELITE, &c. not to VOL. II. mention

G

mention PROTESTANT, whofe fate is yet uncertain, will

be convinced of the truth of this obfervation.

It is thus

a fyftem becomes more abfurd in the end, merely from its being reasonable and philosophical in the beginning.

To oppose the torrent of scholastic religion by fuch feeble maxims as thefe, that it is impoffible for the fame thing to be and not to be, that the whole is greater than a part, that two and three make five; is pretending to ftop the ocean with a bull-rufh. Will you fet up profane reafon against facred mystery? No punishment is great enough for your impiety. And the fame fires, which were kindled for heretics, will ferve alfo for the deftruction of philofophers.

SECT. XII. With regard to Doubt or Conviction.

We meet every day with people fo fceptical with regard to history, that they affert it impoffible for any nation ever to believe fuch abfurd principles as thofe of GREEK and EGYPTIAN paganism; and at the fame time fo dogmatical with regard to religion, that they think the fame abfurdities are to be found in no other communion. CAMBYSES entertained like prejudices; and very impioufly ridiculed, and even wounded, APIS, the great god of the EGYPTIANS, who appeared to his profane senses nothing but a large spotted bull. But HERODOTUS judiciously afcribes this fally of paffion to a real madness or diforder of the brain: Otherwife, fays the hiftorian, he never would have openly affronted any established worfhip. For on that head, continues he, every nation are beft fatisfied with their own, and think they have the advantage over every other nation.

It must be allowed, that the ROMAN Catholics are a very learned fect; and that no one communion, but that

of

of the church of ENGLAND, can difpute their being the moft learned of all the Chriftian churches: Yet AVERROES, the famous ARABIAN, who, no doubt, had heard of the EGYPTIAN fuperftitions, declares, that, of all religions, the most abfurd and nonfenfical is that, whose votaries eat, after having created, their deity.

I believe, indeed, that there is no tenet in all paganifm, which would give fo fair a scope to ridicule as this of the real prefence: For it is fo abfurd, that it eludes the force of all argument. There are even fome pleasant ftories of that kind, which, though fomewhat profane, are commonly told by the Catholics themselves. One day, a prieft, it is faid, gave inadvertently, inftead of the facrament, a counter, which had by accident falleri among the holy wafers. The communicant waited patiently for fome time, expecting it would diffolve on his tongue: But finding that it ftill remained entire, he took it off. I wish, cried he to the priest, you have not committed fome mistake: I wish you have not given me God the Father: He is fo hard and tough there is no fwallowing him.

A famous general, at that time in the MuscovITÉ fervice, having come to PARIS for the recovery of his wounds, brought along with him a young TURK, whom he had taken prisoner. Some of the doctors of the SORBONNE (who are altogether as positive as the dervises of CONSTANTINOPLE) thinking it a pity, that the poor TURK fhould be damned for want of instruction, soli→ cited MUSTAPHA very hard to turn Christian, and promised him, for his encouragement, plenty of good wine in this world, and paradife in the next. These allurements were too powerful to be refifted; and therefore, having been well inftructed and catechized, he at last agreed to receive the facraments of baptifm and the

Lord's fupper. The priest, however, to make every thing fure and folid, ftill continued his inftructions; and began the next day with the ufual queftion, How many Gods are there? None at all, replies BENEDICT; for that was his new name. How! None at all! cries the priest. To be fure, faid the honest profelyte. You have told me all along that there is but one God: And yesterday I eat him.

Such are the doctrines of our brethren the Catholics. But to thefe doctrines we are fo accustomed, that we never wonder at them: Though, in a future age, it will probably become difficult to perfuade fome nations, that any human, two-legged creature could ever embrace such principles. And it is a thousand to one, but these nations themselves fhall have fomething full as abfurd in their own creed, to which they will give a moft implicite and moft religious affent.

I lodged once at PARIS, in the fame hotel with an embaffador from TUNIS, who, having paffed fome years at LONDON, was returning home that way. One day I obferved his MOORISH excellency diverting himself under the porch, with furveying the splendid equipages that drove along; when there chanced to pass that way some Capucin friars, who had never feen a TURK; as he, on his part, though accuftomed to the EUROPEAN dreffes, had never seen the grotefque figure of a Capucin: And there is no expreffing the mutual admiration, with which they infpired each other. Had the chaplain of the embaffy entered into a difpute with thefe FRANCISCANS, their reciprocal furprize had been of the fame nature. Thus all mankind stand staring at one another ; and there is no beating it into their heads, that the turban of the AFRICAN is not just as good or as bad a fashion as the cowl of the EUROPEAN. He is a very honeft man,

faid the the prince of SALLEE, fpeaking of de RUYTER, It is a pity he were a Chriftian.

How can you worship leeks and onions? we shall fuppofe a SORBONNIST to fay to a priest of SAIS. If we worship them, replies the latter; at leaft, we do not, at the fame time, eat them. But what strange objects of adoration are cats and monkies? fays the learned doctor. They are at least as good as the relicts or rotten bones of martyrs, answers his no lefs learned antagonist. Are you not mad, infifts the Catholic, to cut one another's throat about the preference of a cabbage or a cucumber? Yes, fays the pagan; I allow it, if you will confefs, that thofe are ftill madder, who fight about the preference among volumes of fophiftry, ten thousand of which are not equal in value to one cabbage or cucumber *.]

Every by-stander will eafily judge (but unfortunately the by-ftanders are few) that, if nothing were requifite to establish any popular fyftem, but expofing the abfurdities of other fyftems, every votary of every fuperftition could give a fufficient reafon for his blind and bigotted attachment to the principles, in which he has been educated. But without fo extenfive a knowledge, on which to ground this affurance, (and perhaps, better without it) there is not wanting a fulficient ftock of religious zeal and faith among mankind. DIODORUS SICULUS † gives. a remarkable inftance to this purpose, of which he was himself an eye-witness. While EGYPT lay under the greatest terror of the ROMAN name, a legionary soldier having inadvertently been guilty of the facrilegious impiety of killing a cat, the whole people rofe upon him with the utmoft fury; and all the efforts of the prince were not able to fave him. The fenate and people of

* See NOTE

† Lib. i.

[CCC].

Gg 3

ROME,