equity which were observable in the one, and the rejection of that principle, together with the injustice and the iniquity which may be charged upon the other. The noble lord was quite triumphant in pressing this view of the matter upon the attention of the house; and left his antagonists utterly foiled in their attempts to expose his inconsistency.

We know very well that speculatists, like ourselves, are very likely to undervalue the difficulties which beset the practical men, who have to deal with those important questions in the imperial parliament. But we cannot, nevertheless, help thinking, that too much is sometimes done for the sake of conciliating unreasonable opponents. Nay, we are of opinion, that if less was sometimes attempted in that way, more would be accomplished. In our judgments, every real grievance should be met by a real remedy. If the dissenter had any thing whereof he might fairly complain, we would not stand for one moment in the way of its removal. On the contrary, if we did not anticipate, we would be aiding him therein, by our fullest and most cordial cooperation. But, admitting this, we do not admit that every quasi grievance should be met by a quasi remedy. We never knew any good to come of that prac

tice. Religious or political hypochondriacism has never yet, in any single instance, been cured by bread pills. And our course in such a case would be, simply, to assert the groundlessness of the complaint; and to treat, either as malingerers, or worse, those by whom it was hypocritically paraded. The man who calls church rates a grievance because he dissents from the church, is not more reasonable in his opposition to them, than would be the republican, who should refuse to pay taxes, because he prefers a republic to a monarchy; and no concession which might not be made to the latter, should, in our júdgment be made to the former, by those who would preserve inviolable the connection between church and state, or oppose any effectual resistance to the introduction of a principle, by the prevalence of which our national Christianity must be abandoned.

But we must conclude. We know not whether the result of this discussion may not relieve the country from the incubus administration. It might, perhaps, be desirable, that they continued in office a little longer; but, if they think otherwise, we must even be content. Sir Robert Peel is, we believe, in good heart, and the materials of a better cabinet are abundant.

At the conclusion of our last chapter we left our quondam antagonist, Mr. Beamish, stretched at full length upon a bed practising homoeopathy by administering hot punch to his fever, while we followed our chaperon, Doctor Finucane, into the presence of the Reverend Father Brennan.

The company into which we now, without any ceremony on our parts, introduce ourselves, consisted of from five and twenty to thirty persons seated around a large oak table, plentifully provided with materials for drinking, and cups, goblets, and glasses of every shape and form. The moment we entered the doctor stepped forward, and, touching Father Malachi on the shoulder, for so I rightly guessed him to be,-presented himself to his relative by whom he was welcomed with every demonstration of joy. While

their recognitions were exchanged, and while the doctor explained the reasons of our visit, I was enabled, undisturbed and unnoticed, to take a brief survey of the party.

Father Malachi Brennan, P. P. of Craignaholt, was what I had often pictured to myself as the beau ideal of his caste; his figure was short, fleshy, and enormously muscular, and displayed proportions which wanted but height to constitute a perfect Hercules; his legs so thick in the calf, so taper in the ancle, looked like nothing I know except, perhaps, the metal balustrades of Carlisle-bridge; his face was large and rosy, and the general expression, a mixture of unbounded good humour and inexhaustible drollery, to which the restless activity of his black and arched eye-brows greatly contributed; and his mouth, were it not for a character of sensuality and voluptuousness about the nether lip, had been actually handsome; his head was bald, except a narrow circle, close above the ears, which was marked by a ring of curly dark hair, sadly insufficient, however, to conceal a development behind, that, if there be truth in phrenology, bodes VOL. IX.

Ireland, a Poem in Ten Cantos.

but little happiness to the disciples of Miss Martineau.

Add to these external signs a voice rich, fluent, and racy, with the mellow "doric" of his country, and you have some faint resemblance of one "every inch a priest." The very antipodes to the bonhommie of this figure, confronted him as croupier at the foot of the table. This, as I afterwards learned, was no less a person than Mister Donovan, the coadjutor or "curate;" he was a tall, spare, ungainly, looking man of about five and thirty, with a pale ascetic countenance, the only readable expression of which vibrated between low suspicion and intense vulgarity: over his short, projecting forehead, hung down a mass of straight red hair; indeed-for nature is not a politician it almost approached an orange hue.. This was cut close to the head all round, and displayed in their full proportions a pair of enormous ears, which stood out in "relief," like turrets from a watch-tower, and with pretty much the same object; his skin was of that peculiar color and texture, which not all "the water in great Neptune's ocean" could impart a look of cleanliness to, while his very voice, hard, harsh, and inflexible, was unprepossessing and unpleasant. And yet, strange as it may seem, he too, was a correct type of his order; the only difference being that Father Malachi was an older coinage with the impress of Douay or St. Omers, whereas Mister Donovan was the shining metal fresh stamped from the mint of Maynooth. While thus occupied in my surveillance of the scene before me, I was roused by the priest saying

"Ah Fin, my darling, ye needn't deny it; you're at the old game as sure as my name is Malachi, and ye'll never be easy nor quiet till ye're sent beyond the sea, or maybe have cord of your virtues on half a ton of marble in the churchyard, yonder.'

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a re

Upon my honor, upou the sacred honor of a De Courcy

2 D

“Well, well, never mind it now; ye see ye're just keeping your friends cooling themselves there in the corner -introduce me at once,"

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"Mr. Lorrequer, I'm sure My name is Curzon," said the adjutant, bowing.

"A mighty pretty name, though a little profane; well, Mr. Curse-on," for so he pronounced it, "ye're as welcome as the flowers in May; and it's mighty proud I am to see ye here."

"Mr. Lorrequer, allow me to shake your hand-I've heard of ye before."

There seemed nothing very strange in that; for go where I would through this county, I seemed as generally known as ever was Brummell in Bond

street.

"Fin tells me," continued Father Malachi, "that ye'd rather not be known down here, in regard to a reason," and here he winked. "Make yourselves quite easy; the king's writ was never but once in these parts; and the 'original and true copy' went back to Limerick in the stomach of the server; they made him eat it, Mr. Lorrequer; but it's as well to be cautious, for there are a good number here. A little dinner, a little quarterly dinner we have among us, Mr. Curse-on, to be social together, and raise a " thrifle" for the Irish college at Rome, where we have a probationer or two ourselves. "As good as a station, and more drink," whispered Fin into my ear. “And now,” continued the priest, "ye must just permit me to re-christen ye both, and the contribution will not be the less for what I'm going to do; and I'm certain you'll not be worse for the change. Mr. Curseon, though 'tis only for a few hours, ye'll have a dacent name."

As I could see no possible objection to this proposal, nor did Curzon either, our only desire being to maintain the secrecy necessary for our antagonist's safety, we at once assented; when Father Malachi took me by the hand, but with such a total change in his whole air and deportment, that I was completely puzzled by it; he led me forward to the company with a good deal of that ceremonious reverence I have often admired in Sir Charles Vernon, when conducting some full-blown dowager through the mazes of a castle minuet. The desire to laugh outright was almost irresistible, as the 'Reverend Father stood at arm's length from me, still holding my

hand, and bowing to the company pretty much in the style of a manager introducing a blushing debutante to an audience. A moment more, and I must have inevitably given way to a burst of laughter, when what was my horror to hear the priest present me to the company as their "excellent, worthy, generous, and patriotic young landlord, Lord Kilkee. Cheer every mother's son of ye; cheer I say;" and certainly precept was never more strenuously

backed by example, for he huzzaed till I thought he would burst a bloodvessel; may I add, I almost wished it, such w the insufferable annoyance, the chagrin, this announcement gave me; and I waited with eager impatience for the din and clamour to subside, to disclaim every syllable of the priest's announcement, and take the consequences of my baptismal epithet, cost what it might. To this, I was impelled by many and important reasons. Situated as I was with respect to the Callonby family, my assumption of their name at such a moment might get abroad, and the consequences to me be inevitable ruin; and independent of my natural repugnance to such sailing under false colors, I saw Curzon laughing almost to suffocation at my wretched predicament, and (so strong within me was the dread of ridicule) I thought, "what a pretty narrative he is concocting for the mess this minute." I rose to reply; and whether Father Malachi, with his intuitive quickness, guessed my purpose or not, I cannot say; but he certainly resolved to out-manœuvre me, and he succeeded: while with one hand he motioned to the party to keep silence, with the other he took hold of Curzon, but with no peculiar or very measured respect, introduced him as Mr. Mac Neesh, the new Scotch steward and improver—a character at that time whose popularity might compete with a tithe proctor or an exciseman. So completely did this tactique turn the tables upon the poor adjutant, who the moment before, was exulting over me, that I utterly forgot my own woes, and sat down convulsed with mirth at his situation-an emotion certainly not lessened as I saw Curzon passed from one to the other at table, "like a pauper to his parish," till he found an asylum at the very foot, in juxta with the engaging Mister Donovan, a propinquity, if I might judge from their countenances, uncoveted by either party.

While this was performing, Doctor Finucane was making, his recognitions

1

with several of the company, to whom he was long known during his visits to the neighbourhood. I now resumed my place on the right of the Father, abandoning for the present all intention of a disclaimer to my rank, and the campaign was opened. The priest now exerted himself to the utmost to recall conversation into the original channels, and if possible to draw off attention from me, which he still feared, perhaps, might elicit some unlucky announcement on my part. Failing in his endeavours to bring matters to their former footing, he turned the whole brunt of his attentions to the worthy doctor, who sat on his left.

"How goes on the law," said he, "Fin? any new proofs, as they call them, forthcoming?"

What Fin replied I could not hear, but the allusion to the "suit" was explained by Father Malachi informing us that the only impediment between his cousin and the title of Kinsale lay in the unfortunate fact, that his grandmother, “rest her sowl," was not a man. Doctor Finucane winced a little under the manner in which this was spoken: but returned the fire by asking if the Bishop was down lately in that quarter? The evasive way in which "the Father" replied having stimulated my curiosity as to the reason, little entreaty was necessary to persuade the doctor to relate the following anecdote, which was not relished the less by his superior, that it told somewhat heavily on Mr. Donovan.

"It is about four years ago," said the doctor, "since the Bishop, Dr. Plunkett, took it into his head that he'd make a general inspection, "a reconnoisance," as we'd call it Mr. Lorthat is, my lord! through the whole diocese, and leave no part far nor near without poking his nose in it and seeing how matters were doing. He heard very queer stories about his reverence here, and so down he came one morning in the month of July, riding upon an old grey hack, looking just for all the world like any other elderly gentleman in very rusty black. When he got near the village he picked up a little boy to show him the short cut across the fields to the house here; and as his lordship was a "sharp man and a shrewd," he kept his eye on every thing as he went along, remarking this, and noting down that.

"Are ye regular in ye'r duties, my son?' said he to the gossoon.

"I never miss a Sunday,' said the

gossoon; 'for it's always walking his reverence's horse I am the whole time av prayers.'

"His lordship said no more for a little while, when he muttered between his teeth, Ah it's just slander-nothing but slander and lying tongues.' This soliloquy was caused by his remarking that on every gate he passed or from every cabin, two or three urchins would come out half naked, but all with the finest heads of red hair ever he saw in his life.

"How is it, my son,' said he, at length; they tell very strange stories about Father Malachi, and I see so many of these children with red hair. Eh- -now Father Malachi's a dark man.'

6.6

True for ye,' said the boy; 'true for ye, Father Malachi's dark; but the coadjutor!-the coadjutor's as red as a fox.'"

When the laugh this story caused had a little subsided, Father Malachi called out, " Mickey Oulahan! Mickey, I say, hand his lordship over the groceries'"-thus he designated a square decanter, containing about two quarts of whiskey, and a bowl heaped high with sugar-" a dacent boy is Mickey, my lord, and I'm happy to be the means of making him known to you." I bowed with condescension, while Mr. Oulahan's eyes sparkled like diamonds at the recognition.

66

He has only two years of the lease to run, and a ‘long charge," (anglicé, a large family,) continued the priest. "I'll not forget him, you may depend upon it," said I.

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"Do you hear that," said Father Malachi, casting a glance of triumph round the table, while a general buzz of commendation on priest and patron went round, with many such phrases as, Och thin it's his rivrance can do it,"

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66

na bocklish," "and why not," &c. &c. As for me, I have already "confessed", to my crying sin, a fatal, irresistible inclination to follow the humor of the moment wherever it led me; and now I found myself as active a partizan in quizzing Mickey Oulahan, as though I was not myself a party included in the jest. I was thus fairly launched into my inveterate habit, and nothing could arrest my progress.

One by one the different individuals round the table were presented to me, and made known their various wants, with an implicit confidence in my power of relieving them, which I with equal readiness ministered to. lowered the rent of every man at table. Lord Mulgrave himself never showed

I

a greater affection for felons and convicts. I made a general jail delivery, an act of grace, (I blush to say which seemed to be peculiarly interesting to the present company.) I abolished all arrears—made a new line of road through an impassable bog, and over an inaccessible mountain-and conducted water to a mill, which (I learned in the morning) was always worked by wind. The decanter had scarcely completed its third circuit of the board, when I bid fair to be the most popular specimen of the peerage that ever

visited the "far west." In the midst of my career of universal benevolence, I was interrupted by Father Malachi, whom I found on his legs, pronouncing a glowing eulogium on his cousin's late regiment, the famous North Cork. "That was the corps," said he. "Bid them do a thing, and they'd never leave off; and so, when they got orders to retire from Wexford, it's little they cared for the comforts of baggage, like many another regiment, for they threw away every thing but their canteens, and never stopped till they ran to Ross, fifteen miles farther than the enemy followed them. And when they were all in bed the same night, fatigued and tired with their exertions, as ye may suppose, a drummer's boy called out in his sleep'here they are they're coming-they all jumped up and set off in their shirts, and got two miles out of town before they discovered it was a false alarm."

Peal after peal of laughter followed the priest's encomium on the doctor's regiment; and, indeed, he himself joined most heartily in the mirth, as he might well afford to do, seeing that a braver nor better corps than the North Cork, Ireland did not possess.

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Well," said Fin, "it's easy to see ye never can forget what they did at Maynooth."

Father Malachi disclaimed all personal feeling on the subject; and I was at last gratified by the following narrative, which I regret deeply 1 am not enabled to give in the doctor's own verbiage; but writing as I do from memory, (in most instances,) I can only convey the substance:

It was towards the latter end of the year '98 the year of the troubles-that the North Cork was ordered, for their sins, I believe, to_march from their snug quarters in Fermoy, and take up a position in the town of Maynooth avery considerable reverse of fortune to a set of gentlemen ex

They had not been many weeks in their new quarters, when they began to pine over their altered fortunes, and it was with a sense of delight, that a few months before would have been incomprehensible to them, they discovered that one of their officers had a brother, a young priest in the college: he introduced him to some of his confreres, and the natural result followed. A visiting acquaintance began between the regiment and such of the members of the college as had liberty to leave the precincts: who, as time ripened the acquaintance into intimacy, very naturally preferred the cuisine of the North Cork to the meagre fare of "the refectory." At last seldom a day went by, without one or two of their reverences finding themselves guests at the mess. The North Corkians were of a most hospitable turn, and the fathers were determined the virtue should not rust for want of being exercised; they would just drop in to say a word to 66 Captain O'Flaherty about leave to shoot in the demesne," as Carton was styled; or, they had a "frank from the Duke for the Colonel," or some other equally pressing reason; and they would contrive to be caught in the middle of a very droll story, just as the "roast beef" was playing. Very little entreaty then sufficed-a short apology for the "dereglemens" of dress, and a few minutes more found them seated at table without further ceremony on either side. Among the favourite guests from the college, two were peculiarly in estimation" the Professor of the Humanities," Father Luke Mooney; and the Abbé D'Array, "the Lecturer on Moral Philosophy, and Belles Lettres ;" and certain it is, pleasanter fellows, nor more gifted with the "convivial bump," there never existed. He of the Humanities was a droll dog-a member of Curran club, the "monks of the screw," told an excellent story, and sang the "Cruiskeen