A PARTY of young men were on a hunting-trip in a backwoods district. They had stopped at the home of a mountaineer to inquire for directions and information. about the game of the country. Only women members of the household were found at home, but all questions were answered freely. As the party was about to move on, a young theological student of their number, wide awake to matters of Church advancement, flung out this inquiry to the talkative housewife:

"Can you tell us if there are any Presbyterians in this part of the country?"

"Land sakes alive, mister, I ain't never heard of no such animule as dat! Yo' might look out in de smoke-house, whar my husband has got a lot o' hides nailed on de wall an' see if yo' fin' any o' dat kin'."

A MAN traveling through the Ozarks of southern Missouri went into a small country store. The only man in sight, presumably the proprietor, was enjoying his ease at the back of the store, chair tilted back and feet on the counter, and made no move to come forward.

The prospective customer waited a few minutes and then called:

'Can't you come and wait on me? I am in a hurry to get started home."

The proprietor shifted his position slightly and drawled,

"Couldn't you come in some time when I'm standin' up?"

A LITTLE girl, woefully sad because her pet canary had died, put the remains in a cigar-box and was digging a grave when her father came up.

"Father," she said, "will my little birdie go to heaven?".

"I think so," he replied. "In fact, I know so.'

Whereupon the child, forgetting her grief, gave a loud laugh and clapped her hands.

"Oh," she cried, "how cross St. Peter will be when he opens it and finds it isn't cigars after all!"

MRS. JONES (convalescent, to doctor): And now that I'm feeling a bit stronger, you'll have to send me your bill.

DOCTOR: Oh no, Mrs. Jones; you'll have to be feeling very much stronger before I do that.

MOTHER was just about to leave the house when little Lilian entered the room. For a moment she stood perfectly still, gazing at her mother. When finally she did speak, it was to say:

"Mamma, do you know what I am going to give you for Christmas when it comes again?"

"No," said her mother smilingly; "but I should like to."

"Why, a fine dressing-table tray with flowers painted on it," said the child.

"But, Lilian," was the reply, "you know I have a nice tray of that sort already."

"No, you haven't, mother," said Lilian. "I've just dropped it on the floor."

A LOS ANGELES oil-promoter who had to leave on a trip East before the end of suit brought by another company gave orders to his lawyer to let him know the result by telegraph. After several days he received the following:

Right has triumphed.

He at once wired back:
Appeal immediately.

A CLERGYMAN, taking occasional duty for a friend in a remote country parish, was greatly scandalized on observing the old verger, who had been collecting the offertory, quietly abstract a fifty-cent piece before presenting the plate at the altar

rail.

After service he called the old man into the vestry and told him with some emotion that his crime had been discovered.

The verger looked puzzled for a mo ment. Then a sudden light dawned on him.

"Why, sir, you don't mean that old halfdollar of mine? Why, I've led off with that for the last fifteen years!"

"NOW, Jimmy," said the teacher, "what is the difference between 'human' and 'humane?'"

Jimmy thought deeply for a moment.

"Well," he said, at length, "suppose you had two pieces of candy and a hungry little dog grabbed one from you. If you gave him the other piece, you would be humane; but if you threw a stone at him, you would be human."