THE CURSE OF THE COMPETENT BY HENRY J. FINN My spirit hath been seared, as though the lightning's scathe had rent, In the swiftness of its wrath, through the midnight firma ment, The darkly deepening clouds; and the shadows dim and murky Of destiny are on me, for my dinner's naught but-turkey. The chords upon my silent lute no soft vibrations know, Save where the moanings of despair-out-breathings of my woe Tell of the cold and selfish world. In melancholy mood, The soul of genius chills with only-fourteen cords of wood. The dreams of the deserted float around my curtained hours, And young imaginings are as the thorns bereft of flowers; A wretched outcast from mankind, my strength of heart has sank Beneath the evils of-ten thousand dollars in the bank. This life to me a desert is, and kindness, as the stream That singly drops upon the waste where burning breezes teem; A banished, blasted plant, I droop, to which no freshness lends Its healing balm, for Heaven knows, I've but-a dozen friends. And Sorrow round my brow has wreathed its coronal of thorns; No dewy pearl of Pleasure my sad sunken eyes adorns; Calamity has clothed my thoughts, I feel a bliss no more, Alas! my wardrobe now would only-stock a clothing store. The joyousness of Memory from me for aye hath fled; Envy, Neglect, and Scorn have been my hard inheritance; And a baneful curse clings to me, like the stain on innocence; My moments are as faded leaves, or roses in their blight I'm asked but once a day to dine-to parties every night. Would that I were a silver ray upon the moonlit air, prayer! My tortured spirit turns from earth, to ease its bitter loathing; My hatred is on all things here, because I want for nothing. THE GRAMMATICAL BOY BY BILL NYE Sometimes a sad, homesick feeling comes over me, when I compare the prevailing style of anecdote and school literature with the old McGuffey brand, so well known thirty years ago. To-day our juvenile literature, it seems to me, is so transparent, so easy to understand, that I am not surprised to learn that the rising generation shows signs of lawlessness. Boys to-day do not use the respectful language and large, luxuriant words that they did when Mr. McGuffey used to stand around and report their conversations for his justly celebrated school reader. It is disagreeable to think of, but it is none the less true, and for one I think we should face the facts. I ask the careful student of school literature to compare the following selection, which I have written myself with great care, and arranged with special reference to the matter of choice and difficult words, with the flippant and commonplace terms used in the average school book of to-day. One day as George Pillgarlic was going to his tasks, and while passing through the wood, he spied a tall man approaching in an opposite direction along the highway. "Ah!" thought George, in a low, mellow tone of voice, "whom have we here?" "Good morning, my fine fellow," exclaimed the stranger, pleasantly. "Do you reside in this locality?" "Indeed I do," retorted George, cheerily, doffing his cap. "In yonder cottage, near the glen, my widowed mother and her thirteen children dwell with me." "And is your father dead?" exclaimed the man, with a rising inflection. "Extremely so," murmured the lad, "and, oh, sir, that is why my poor mother is a widow." "And how did your papa die?" asked the man, as he thoughtfully stood on the other foot a while. "Alas! sir," said George, as a large hot tear stole down his pale cheek and fell with a loud report on the warty surface of his bare foot, "he was lost at sea in a bitter gale. The good ship foundered two years ago last Christmastide, and father was foundered at the same time. No one knew of the loss of the ship and that the crew was drowned until the next spring, and it was then too late." "And what is your age, my fine fellow?" quoth the stranger. "If I live till next October," said the boy, in a declamatory tone of voice suitable for a Second Reader, “I will be seven years of age.” "And who provides for your mother and her large family of children?” queried the man. "Indeed, I do, sir," replied George, in a shrill tone. "I toil, oh, so hard, sir, for we are very, very poor, and since my elder sister, Ann, was married and brought her husband home to live with us, I have to toil more assiduously than heretofore." "And by what means do you obtain a livelihood?" exclaimed the man, in slowly measured and grammatical words. "By digging wells, kind sir,” replied George, picking up a tired ant as he spoke and stroking it on the back. “I have a good education, and so I am able to dig wells as well as a man. I do this day-times and take in washing at night. In this way I am enabled barely to maintain our family in a precarious manner; but, oh, sir, should my other sisters marry, I fear that some of my brothers-inlaw would have to suffer." "And do you not fear the deadly fire-damp?" asked the stranger in an earnest tone. "Not by a damp sight," answered George, with a low gurgling laugh, for he was a great wag. "You are indeed a brave lad," exclaimed the stranger, as he repressed a smile. “And do you not at times become very weary and wish for other ways of passing your time?" “Indeed, I do, sir," said the lad. "I would fain run and romp and be gay like other boys, but I must engage in constant manual exercise, or we will have no bread to eat, and I have not seen a pie since papa perished in the moist and moaning sea.' "And what if I were to tell you that your papa did not perish at sea, but was saved from a humid grave?" asked the stranger in pleasing tones. "Ah, sir," exclaimed George, in a genteel manner, again doffing his cap, "I am too polite to tell you what I would say, and besides, sir, you are much larger than I am." "But, my brave lad," said the man in low musical tones, "do you not know me, Georgie? Oh, George!" "I must say," replied George, "that you have the advantage of me. Whilst I may have met you before, I can not at this moment place you, sir.” "My son! oh, my son!" murmured the man, at the same time taking a large strawberry mark out of his valise and showing it to the lad. "Do you not recognize your parent on your father's side? When our good ship went to the |