"'Tis surely some mistake," Good-naturedly cries Ned; The lawyer answered gravely, ""Tis even as I said, "Twas thus his gracious majesty "See, here the will is witness'd, "Alas! my kind young gentleman, "He hath a store of money, But ne'er was known to lend it; "Poor Edward knows but how to spend, And as the honest labourer Is worthy his reward, "I pray Prince Ned, my second son, And my successor dear, To pay to his intendant Five hundred pounds a year; And to think of his old father, And live and make good cheer." Such was old Brentford's honest testament, And lies in Brentford church in peaceful rest. Long time the famous reign of Ned endured And when both died, as mortal men will do, THE YARN OF THE NANCY BELL. W. S. GILBERT. "TWAS on the shores that round our coast That I found alone on a piece of stone His hair was weedy, his beard was long, And I heard this wight on the shore recite, "Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And he shook his fists and he tore his hair, For I couldn't help thinking the man had becn And so I simply said: "O, elderly man, it's little I know Of the duties of men of the sea, And I'll eat my hand if I understand How you can possibly be "At once a cook, and a captain bold, Then he gave a hitch to his trousers, which And having got rid of his baccy quid, ""Twas in the good ship Nancy Bell That we sailed to the Indian Sea, And there on a reef we come to grief, Which has often occurred to me. "And pretty nigh all o' the crew was drowned (There was seventy-seven o' soul) And only ten of the Nancy's men Said Here!' to the muster-roll. There was me and the cook and the captain bold, And the mate of the Nancy brig, And the bo'sun tight and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig. "For a month we'd neither wittles nor drink, Till a-hungry we did feel, So we drawed a lot, and accordin' shot The captain for our meal. "The next lot fell to the Nancy's mate, Then our appetite with the midshipmite "And then we murdered the bo'sun tight, Then we wittled free, did the cook and me, "Then only the cook and me was left, "For I loved the cook as a brother, I did, But we'd both be blowed if we'd either be stowed In the other chap's hold, you see! "I'll be eat if you dines off me,' says Tom, 'Yes, that,' says I, 'you'll be,' 'I'm boiled if I die, my friend,' quoth I, And 'Exactly so,' quoth he. "Says he, 'Dear James, to murder me Were a foolish thing to do, For don't can't cook me, you see that you While I can and will-cook you!' "So, he boils the water, and takes the salt And the pepper in portions true (Which he never forgot) and some chopped shalot, And some sage and parsley too. "Come here,' says he, with a proper pride, Which his smiling features tell, "Twill soothing be if I let you see How extremely nice you'll smell.' "And he stirred it round and round and round, And he sniffed at the foaming froth h; When I ups with his heels, and I smothers his squeals In the scum of the boiling broth! "And I eat that cook in a week or less, The last of his chops, why I almost drops, "And I never grieve, and I never smile, But I sit and croak, and a single joke "Oh! I am a cook and a captain bold, THE MERMAID OF MARGATE. THOMAS HOOD. "Alas! what perils do inviron That man who meddles with a siren!" HUDIBRAS. ON Margate beach, where the sick one roams, Where the maiden flirts, and the widow comes-~ Where urchins wander to pick up shells, There's a maiden sits by the ocean brim, But woe, deep water and woe to him, |